Lie-ins for SAHMs?

[LouisaJF]

I was curious of your opinions on this.

I am a SAHM to two boys aged 1 and 3 and DH runs his own business. Seven days a week I get up with DS2 at 6-6.30 and DH gets up at 8-8.30, has a hath, gets ready for work and spends 5-10 minutes with us before heading out. In the evening he is usually home with less than an hour before bedtime.

Obviously I do all the housework and all meals for all 4 of us, including DH'a packed lunch. I'm also the one who gets up to the kids in the night.

At the weekend I still get up with the boys and he has a lie-in till 10ish and a bath. I get a lie-in once a month but have to wake DH as he never hears the children, which means I'm awake and can't always get back to sleep. I can't remember the last time I had a bath.

I know DH has a lot of stress on his shoulders with the business, but am I unreasonable in thinking I could have a lie-in a bit more frequently than this as my job isn't easy either. I think it stems from the fact that I rarely have any time to myself as I don't get to see friends much or have any time out from being mum eg a soak in the bath.

Do I just need to get a grip?

We reached breakimg point over sleep and agreed to a lie in each on the weekend. A proper one, till 10, and the other person has to get up at the first SQUEEK of a child.

You need to sort this out.

And I fail to see what your occupations have to do with this.

Why can't he make his own lunch

And I fail to see what your occupations have to do with this.

Really?

A check out person comes to work, does shift, leaves work. May encounter rude customer and other slight stresses, but when that person leaves at the end of their agreed shift, they are done.

Compare with someone running their own business, perhaps growing it from small to big, perhaps on the brink of going under, perhaps on the brink of a big expansion. Long long hours, constantly on your mind, you don't leave it. I speak from experience, my father. He was building a business, to provide for his family. For a few years, it consumed him. It became more balanced with time.

Your H is being really unfair.

We have a toddler and baby twins. DH is normally up in the night and up round about the same time as me. We take turns to have a lie in, although I actually really enjoy being the one to make the breakfast- fling all the kids in with him and get the kitchen to myself! (Result!)

You need to speak to him. Do you get to go out by yourself? Get your nails done or go to yoga or somewhere once a week, plus at least 3 times a week you should be in bed until 7. He needs to pull his weight.

Does that apply to women too?
My job is very stressful and reliant on deadlines and making lie or death decisions.
I have a half hour drive there and back and often long drives to see clients during the day!

I CAN STILL GET UP TO SEE TO MY DAMN KIDS THOUGH AS WELL AS SEE TO MY OWN NUTRITIONAL AND HYGEINE REQUIREMENTS!

Jeeeze

Long, long hours? The guy gets up after 8 every weekday morning and has a soak, 10 at weekends and gets home around their bedtime, which, as they are 3 and 1, probably isn't very late.

He must be exhausted expat poor wee lamb

I know....he's practically part time.

How do these wankers manage before they are married?

I'm sorry Enjoyingmycoffee but that is utter guff.

I was a sahm. My Dh worked from 7.00am until at least 7.30 each night while our dc were small. He was building a business in the city and worked long hours and was utterly focussed.

He still got up at the weekends and made his own lunch because he is not a dickhead.

I could never have a sexual relationship with a man so selfish or needy.

I'm in work by 8. Hard to view his day as being hard - well, not hard compared to two tinies at home and early starts every single day.

Imagine, Led, they had to make their own lunch!

It doesn't last forever, the joys of kids growing up and all that

I'm still in bed and dh brought me breakfast too

comes and joins the OP.

It is 9.35. DH is bed (came in at some time in the night) and i got up at 6 30 for children. This is reality. All the bloody time.

So not alone and yes it is selfish.

Me too stil staying what did you have?
I had tea and fruit salad with yogurt!

Can you put the children to bed later, so they get up later in the morning? Then they get more time with their father in the evening as well as giving you more sleep the next day.

DH and I take one day each at the weekend. The rule is that the other one has to be ready to pitch in by 10, up until then we are free to sleep or mumsnet, or whatever. I work 3 days a week and am up with DD on the other days. Your DH is taking the piss. He already gets a 2 hours lie in compared to you during the week!

He should definitely take one day at the weekend.

Yep selfish. Have you asked for one lie in a weekend? Plus equal leisure time?

I just don't get this. Do you tell him that you're knackered and would like a break? If he knows you're exhausted and he's just ignoring you then he's a cunt, if he doesn't know you're exhausted because you haven't told him, why? I'm on maternity leave and my husband does do loads, but if I'm especially tired I will just give him the baby and tell him I'm going for a nap, walk, bath etc.

Champagne that doesn't work with a lot of children, especially in the summer. DD is up at 7 whether she goes to bed at 7 or 10!

Ledkr coffee and crusty toast, still in bed too.

< must get arse out of bed>

I have to come back as the thread title is annoying me so.

This isn't a SAHM issue. It's a "married to a selfish entitled arse" issue.

I am a sahm, our twins are 2.8. Dh works 6 days a week. We share Sunday morning lie ins. Today is mine (bonus bank holiday), he got up with the DC, dressed and fed them, made up a picnic and has taken them for a picnic and long woodland walk. I am still in bed drinking tea and mnetting. I may go back to sleep in a bit. I am not expecting them home until gone 4.

This type of thing keeps us sane! You need to gave a chat with your dh.