Introducing my partner to feminism...

[blinder]

On the back of a spate of good feminism threads here lately I am looking for book recommendations to give to my DP as an introduction to a feminist critique of society.

He's not a particularly neanderthal man - he loves Naomi Klein for example - but he's a bit uneducated about the reality facing women today.

We have a six month old daughter and it worries us both that she is being launched into a culture that systematically de-humanises (objectifies) girls. I'm sure he would be willing to explore ways that we can parent her consciously so that she can preserve her identity in the face of damaging cultural norms.

At the same time, I don't want him to feel lectured, blamed or patronised by the book. But I would like him to be able to examine his own investment in male superiority and recognise that he does have many assumptions about women and many blind spots about male privilege.

It's a fine line.

So, books for men, fathers or people new to feminism?

I recommend Frankie Boyle....

Pmsl. You do amuse me

Oh yes, didn't he write Redefining Gender Stereotypes for Her Indoors?

Serious suggestions??

God, If you're worried now, you'll have a heart attack when your DD is 14 and dressing like Lady gaga! Don't tell me you won't be pleased if she grows up pretty?

For goodness sake chill out - bring her up with the knowledgde that she can do anything she has a mind to, with a healthy attitude and good self esteem and you needn't worry about "damaging cultural norms".

"But I would like him to be able to examine his own investment in male superiority and recognise that he does have many assumptions about women and many blind spots about male privilege".
Is that how you really feel about your own husband? How very patronising.

Perfectly chilled out thanks. Wasn't asking for parenting advice.

As I said, any suggestions for feminism books for men?

Try the book section then perhaps? This is the relationship section.

Hi Alouiseg.....hope you're enjoying your Sunday...

"Redefining Gender Stereotypes for Her Indoors"

Blinder, I dunno why you are getting the reactions

'tis a perfectly reasonable question

if your DH is interested...go for it

I have a dd too...and the cultural "norms" she is subjected to scares the shit outta me and DH

sorry, no suggestions though for books....I am woefully badly-read on the subject

I appear to have wandered into a nest of vipers...

Ok will move away now to Books.

Get back to your relationships, parties and perfect parenting ladies. As you were!

Thanks Paisley and AF! Think there are lots of Auntie Flos visiting this section.

Jeez, looks like your feminism has some way to go if you are suggesting that the women here are pre-menstral!

blinder....

I'm sorry I suggested Frankie Boyle....it's just you sound like such a crushing bore...

...he might help you...

If Dh really is that concerned then surely he can do his own research. Or would be doing it already even?

oi alsouiseeg
youa re on our diet thread then didnt turn up
back to school lady

Dumbledore I was being ironic. It seems feminism is just not enough fun to be bothering about. It's just so damn boring wanting my daughter to grow up happy. Bad mother!

I like Frankie Boyle but he's not my first port of call when bringing up a daughter.

Alouieseg yes thats a good point, but like most men (and women) he doesn't actually know how many sexist assumptions he has.

AF you currently have a teenage daughter, it's natural and normal for you to be terrified every time she goes out the front door.

I'm sure you know deep down that you have (both) given her the confidence and good self esteem necessary for her to grab life by the throat and do whatever she wants to do, whether she wants to be a SAHM or have a high flying career. That's all we can do as parents, the rest is up to her.

My DD is managing to be both a full on party girl and a serious student well on her way to a Maths degree and teaching career, not to mention working part time to fund her serious shopping habit! Just because she looks like Cheryl cole doesn't mean she hasn't got a brain in her head ( nor would she fall for a nobhead like Ashley).

Their upbringing is far more important than outside influences.

I don't think it was very clever suggesting women were pre-menstral. I couldn't give a flying fuck about feminism, but the one issue that gets my back up is the suggestion that a woman who is speaking her mind is suffering from PMT. Jeez.

On a more helpful note, since you are obviously a rampant feminist and grew up in less enlightened times than these, what makes you think your dd won't develop feminist attitudes for herself?

Can I remind people that this isn't in AIBU and I'm not here to have my parenting or partnership or personality picked apart and insulted. I'm not looking for any sot of fight.

I'm asking a reasonable (although serious) question about introducing my partner to feminist theory, given that he has just become father to a girl.

[sigh] yes I agree that upbringing is important, and that my daughter will develop her own ideas.

I'm just wondering how to facilitate this by us both reading up on relevant cultural theory.

If you don't understand my question, you don't have to post.

A well balnced, decent man with a healthy attitude to women doesn't need an introduction to feminist theory FFS!

Being a good dad, interested in his daughter and her upbringing is far more important.