Introducing my partner to feminism...

[blinder]

On the back of a spate of good feminism threads here lately I am looking for book recommendations to give to my DP as an introduction to a feminist critique of society.

He's not a particularly neanderthal man - he loves Naomi Klein for example - but he's a bit uneducated about the reality facing women today.

We have a six month old daughter and it worries us both that she is being launched into a culture that systematically de-humanises (objectifies) girls. I'm sure he would be willing to explore ways that we can parent her consciously so that she can preserve her identity in the face of damaging cultural norms.

At the same time, I don't want him to feel lectured, blamed or patronised by the book. But I would like him to be able to examine his own investment in male superiority and recognise that he does have many assumptions about women and many blind spots about male privilege.

It's a fine line.

So, books for men, fathers or people new to feminism?

Sorry, that was in response to malificence

Amber, to clarify, maybe I have been clumsy in my explanation. Most of us are unaware how much conditioning we have absorbed. Until confronted by some courses as a student I was oblivious to lots of my own assumptions about gender and race. My partner hasn't been confronted by much feminist theory yet but he's interested in getting more informed.
We aren't married but i'm with him because we love each other and want to be together. Not sure why that's relevant.

I would imagine that it would be interesting for him to read perhaps one book from the beginning of the feminist movement and one from a current writer, to see the difference between the two eras, and to see how far feminist thinking has progressed (and achieved).

Yes that's a good idea Mme thank you.

yeah, bet it must be fun to be that taxi-driver's wife/sister/daughter

this is over ten years old, but interesting on women and the legal system, "Eve was framed" by Helena Kennedy.

This is one of the oddest threads I have ever read on Mumsnet! I read and re-read and thrice read your op and cannot for the life of me see why you deserve reactions such as this:

"Frankly, blinder she's going to suffer an awful lot more by way of emotional trauma, having such a pompous and humourless Mum, such as yourself".

Anyway, picking jaw up off floor, I think Naomi Wolf's The Beauty Myth would be good for starters. "Naomi Wolf's uncompromising, hard-hitting investigation of the coercion of women by the Beauty Myth has the power to change lives".

The Feminine Mystique by Betty Friedan

The Female Eunuch by Germaine Greer

Backlash by Susan Faludi

Living Dolls: The Return Of Sexism by Natasha Walter

and he definitely needs to take a look at this, it should prove invaluable.

I made DP read all of them before he entered my inner sanctum.

Thanks bibbity!

All noted thank you BOF. But Wogan? Actually DP can't stand him.

Is 'inner sanctum' a euphemism?

I don't have a problem with the OP at all. My DH is a very lovely, kind, respectful man, and equally used to being around woman as men (people at the MN party were surprised at how unfazed he was being surrounded by a bunch of mumnetters!) but I have had to sit down and give him proper explanations of feminism and what it means for our DD after he said he didn't want her growing up to be a feminist. But that is simply because he didn't understand feminism, he grew up in a very traditional family, with strong woman, but very much taking on the domestic tasks, and was a child of the 70's when feminism seemed to be all about wearing dungarees and now shaving your armpits.

Blimey, it's only since the last year on MN that I have come to realise what feminism is really all about and that we are not 'there' yet, and being a feminist is nothing to be ashamed of. How can expect him to know any different.

Think the OP is very reasonable. Having children changes your views abut a lot of things, and makes things important that weren't on your radar before. If I could convince my DH to read any feminist literature I'd want some recommendations. As it is I will just continue sending him links to MN threads!

If you're interested Germaine Greer is doing a tour at the moment, she's in Essex in the next few weeks.

"Backlash" is good (as are the others). Actually, I'm shocked by how many of these I'd forgotten. And how many of them I haven't read!

So, good thread - and useful for other readers, too.

Flippin' heck - ask for some book references and get a character assasination.

There's a few on here who could well do with having a read of some of the recommended books.

Way to go The Sisterhood...

Thanks all. Dittany I can imagine him being drawn to all three of those. Don't worry, his blind spots are benign. I would definitely let him know if he ever needed telling.

Gawd, Blinder, you got a bit of a drubbing for your OP, which I thought was really interesting. Glad to see you've had some thoughtful responses and I'm really interested in following up some of Dittany's suggestions, so thanks for posting.

I despair at the level of unnecessary unpleasantness on this thread. By daring to ask a question the OP is called boring, patronising and told that her partner is a wimp.

Why bother posting if you can't or don't want to answer the OP? Why descend to such personal attacks?

blinder - I have no suggestions of my own in terms of 'serious' texts, but I can recommend the writing of Marge Piercy, especially 'Braided Lives' - a wonderful novel about a young girl growing up and learning about the world.

Thanks for all the observations that the character assassination was unfair. Anyone who can jump on a high horse to call someone humourless has got to be projecting .

And thanks for the suggestions too. I expect they'll broaden my understanding too.

As an additional bonus, my DP might really enjoy reading revisionist interpretations of masculinity too, not being a particularly macho man (thank god). I might even introduce my 12 yo son to some of those ideas too... which is a whole different thread!

BIWI;

I have not personally attacked blinder.

I formed a very quick opinion of her and that opinion was that she sounds quite boring. Most feminists are boring aren't they... feminism is so 1970's...

blinder My DP was the person who got me "into" feminism in the first place. I will ask him for his recommendations.

As a side note: He says that feminists are better in bed

Just going to momentarily sink to the gutter:

daftpunk I'm not calling you a moron, I just think you are pathetic. And your jerk of a husband too.

No personal attacks there either as it is an almost word-for-word repeat of what you've written during this thread, although I have substituted more appropriate insults.

Luckily, we know nothing about each other so the impression that I am a crushing bore or that you are a mindless cretin must be false, yes? Good-oh!

daftpunk - don't be dense. Of course you were insulting blinder. Denying it is even more offensive.

And if you're so disinterested in feminism, why bother posting?