Introducing my partner to feminism...

[blinder]

On the back of a spate of good feminism threads here lately I am looking for book recommendations to give to my DP as an introduction to a feminist critique of society.

He's not a particularly neanderthal man - he loves Naomi Klein for example - but he's a bit uneducated about the reality facing women today.

We have a six month old daughter and it worries us both that she is being launched into a culture that systematically de-humanises (objectifies) girls. I'm sure he would be willing to explore ways that we can parent her consciously so that she can preserve her identity in the face of damaging cultural norms.

At the same time, I don't want him to feel lectured, blamed or patronised by the book. But I would like him to be able to examine his own investment in male superiority and recognise that he does have many assumptions about women and many blind spots about male privilege.

It's a fine line.

So, books for men, fathers or people new to feminism?

Er....hang on a minute.....all I said was you sounded boring and your dp was probably a drip...

...now I'm a cretin and a pathetic moron...and my dh is a jerk..?

blinder - interesting question. Not sure why it generated such a reaction?
people should perhaps bear in mind the old saying that if you can't say something constructive...well, there's a biscuit emoticon.

Back to the question, it's a difficult area to define, as a lot of stuff is too heavy, and will lecture him. Nothing springs immediately to mind.

daftpunk - when there are young girls who believe stripping equals empowerment or who think getting a boob job / putting all importance into looks is how you succeed in
life then no, feminism is not 'so 1970's'.

daftpunk - let's say that you are right - the OP is boring, and her husband is a drip. In your opinion, of course. Don't you think that it would be politer not to barge into her serious thread to say so?

Lots of posters on here very threatened by feminism.

Just hand in your right to vote, right to work, right to insist on consensual sex etc etc at the door. You obviously find them irksome.

Daftpunk I don't think you are any of those things in particular. I don't know you well enough to form a judgement. But it seems that you are saying that insults aren't personal attacks. I was just returning the favour.

methinks DP can give...but not so happy to receive.....

No no, the nest of vipers is over in AIBU. Go back to Mumsnet Talk and then scroll down a bit, you can't miss it.

Seriously though are there special books for learning about feminism?

ifancyashandy;

Feminism is about choice...

If a woman wants to work in the sex industry that's up to her...she would argue that she's a feminist just out there doing her thing...

Who am I to think any less of her..?

You only knock PC Plus LeQueen because you are yet to discover the joys of the Linux magazine.

Lequeen maybe I should start a thread entitled Books You Wish Your Partner Would Read. Mine would be The Bell Jar. And I wish he would give Joni Mitchell a fair listen too

I would like DH to read Magician so that he would agree with me that Tomas is a nice name for our DS2.

Yay. Glad that some more folk came on to the thread to offer suggestions instead of insults.

I will be adding to my next Amazon order too.

'Seriously though are there special books for learning about feminism?'

I don't understand this point. The socio/economic/cultural position of women through history is a fucking massive topic, and there are many possible areas of discussion, disagreement, specialisation. Some people like to get stuck in to a topic by reading around it. It would appear that the OP's DP is one such person.

Am I missing something? I am properly baffled. People ask for reading suggestions on here all the time.

DP - how I knew you were going to come back with that answer! I applaud your originality

Of course, you must also be expecting me to reply thus: yes, you could argue that by 'owning' and 'subverting' the sexual stereotypes, a women is the ultimate feminist. However, she is also reinforcing society's views of what is acceptable for a woman to excell at - surely you would want a society that enabled women to have a greater choice than 'should I sell my body via stripping etc or not'?

Ultimately, femisism is not about just having a choice - it's about WHAT those choices are. A choice to strip, it could be argued, is no choice at all.

Cor, some of those early replies are a bit . Don't think you deserved that at all.

I watched the first of this series last week which would provide a really good foundation if your DP doesn't have much in the way of historical context. There are lots of interviews with some of the feminist heavyweight authors, so he might find some interesting reads there.

There was an interesting article by Charlotte Raven in last Saturday's Guardian here which talks about how feminism lost its way in the 90s and the results now, and touches on the concept of choice. She also mentions a couple of books, current and classic.

This isn't what you've asked for, but you might be interested in this selection of gender equal books for kids for your DD.

Hopefully others will come up with more suggestions too.

Good reminder, SugarMousePink - I'd also add access to contraception, abortion, and childcare to your list. That documentary I linked to talked about how in the 1950s there were separate jobs for men and women - even women who had degrees were eligible only to be secretaries or clerks. The mind boggles.

Gosh blinder I'm really shocked at some of the horrible replies you have had - such nastiness. Some of the posters on here are downright weird.