Introducing my partner to feminism...

[blinder]

On the back of a spate of good feminism threads here lately I am looking for book recommendations to give to my DP as an introduction to a feminist critique of society.

He's not a particularly neanderthal man - he loves Naomi Klein for example - but he's a bit uneducated about the reality facing women today.

We have a six month old daughter and it worries us both that she is being launched into a culture that systematically de-humanises (objectifies) girls. I'm sure he would be willing to explore ways that we can parent her consciously so that she can preserve her identity in the face of damaging cultural norms.

At the same time, I don't want him to feel lectured, blamed or patronised by the book. But I would like him to be able to examine his own investment in male superiority and recognise that he does have many assumptions about women and many blind spots about male privilege.

It's a fine line.

So, books for men, fathers or people new to feminism?

amber1979;

That personal attack was completely unnecessary.

Sue me.

lolololol amber1979...

I think you watch too much American T.V

Oh btw...

Don't mention things I've said on other threads please....anything I say about politics is said on political/in the news threads.....

that way people can hide them ...

blinder - no idea why people have attacked you. This thread I started on very similar lines, and came away intact, for some reason - huge and useful list which might be of help.

Raising Ophelia by Mary Pipher is insightful and specifically related to parenting girls and the challenges they face. Maybe a bit from the American pov, but attitudes that affect girls and women negatively (including our own attitudes) are basically the same the world over, just more extreme in some places than others. Might be a good introduction.

I'm also surprised at the reaction to the OP.

I think having a father who loves and respects her mother is the best start a girl could have in life -- make sure your P understands this is the foundation for raising any child, girl or boy, Blinder. Theory can only take you so far, after that, children absorb their self-image from what they live.

Amber, sure the DP is capable of browsing the library, but people always want book recommendations, whether for fiction, cookery, history, feminism, etc - why not ask mn?

Extraordinary reactions to the OP. I can't believe women are so hostile to feminism in this day and age.

Good for you, OP.

This is an early feminist essay on housework which I think is great.

I also agree with the suggestion about watching the recent programme on early feminism on iPlayer. It's not perfect by any means, but the women are very inspiring.

"The post is also decidedly biased and one-sided. Why is the onus placed solely on men? If men are to reeducate themselves on the obstacles facing todays modern woman, shouldn't females also become better enlightened about male related issues?"

The OP seems to know about sexism just fine, hubby doesn't appear to so an education is not bad thing.

Do you realise how it sounds saying that women should think about "male related issues" when we're talking about institutional sexism against women that has taken place since forever? Why shouldn't we draw attention to this?

They should think about this issue, because they aren't oppressed like women are.

Good post, msrisotto.

Also, if the OP's husband recommended her a book about male related issues, I'm sure she'd be happy to read it. But should she have to educate him on women's AND men's problems?!

The OP has a daughter, and is asking for a recommendation for her husband. So a feminist slant seems appropriate really. Telling women and men who are interested in exploring these themes and asking for recommendations that they should be doing something else instead is an interesting response.

Leaving aside the use of Viz as a benchmark of reasonable attitudes, I guess most of us on here consider feminism to be a more urgent issue than masculinism because:

Women working full-time are paid 17.1% less an hour than men for doing work of equivalent value, rising to 36% for women working part-time;
Women make up 19% of MPs; 9% of directors of the UK's top 100 companies; 7% of top police officers; 23% of civil service top management; 9% of editors of national newspapers; 18% of trade union general secretaries or equivalent;
Out of every 100 rape cases reported to the police, just seven end in the rapist being caught and punished;
Women still carry out the bulk of unpaid work in the home, whether they have children or not;
Women in full-time employment spend nearly 30% more time on childcare than men in full-time employment;
Women?s savings are worth 33% less than men?s;
Women are more likely to experience persistent poverty. More than one fifth of women, 22%, have a persistent low income, compared to 14% of men.

[Stats from the Fawcett Society]

PW;

This is about a 6 month old baby..... can you see why I find it so laughable...?

... Why cant parents just enjoy their dc for a few years before they start worrying about stats from the Fawcett society....

Completely understand where you're coming from OP. Fantastic that DH wants to be conscious about how to raise a daughter without damaging her. My suggestions:

Non Fiction:

The Beauty Myth

The Feminine Mystique

Fiction:

The Home Maker

The Penelopiad

LeQueen, I think you're lucky not to have experienced any sexism, but i don't think that is common tbh. I don't take the stance that it doesn't bother me if it doesn't affect me but you know, that's your prerogative and all.

lequeen - that makes you lucky. Does that mean that because I'm white I shouldn't give a toss about racism?

Never experienced sexism? What planet do you live on?

OP there are more great book suggestions on this thread