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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

classic case of too much too soon UPDATE

207 replies

sparkybint · 19/01/2010 07:36

My earlier thread is here - hope link works.www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/890642-classic-case-of-too-much-too-soon-should-I-walk. I should have listened to you all but silly me, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Now I'm stuck in Dubai, a place that does nothing for me at all although the weather's great, with a MONSTER. He's revealed his true colours now, stopped showing any interest in me unless I'm doing something for him, and the other night after he initiated sex and then I wanted to carry on he said "What are you doing? Get off me and go to sleep". He hardly ever cracks a smile, and it's not only me who he's being moody with. He's been really rude and unkind to more waiters than I care to mention. He's also still very angry with his STB ex-wife and obviously not laid it to rest.

So I've been putting on a brave face and being all sweetness and light because I didn't want to have a falling out over here and I couldn't leave and get home. But last night, I couldn't take it any more. He looked over the table at me and told me my grey roots needed doing. This might be OK if you've been married for years, but after less than 4 months?? I calmly told him what I thought of his behaviour since we'd arrived and that I didn't understand it. Why had he fed me all that stuff about love? You know what he did? Stormed off (if you can do that in a wheelchair).

So my question is ladies, how do I survive the next days? (we go back on Saturday). He assumed I'd want to go home there and then and was trying to book me a flight last night (paid for by him) but I'm staying put -I feel he got me here under false pretences and now I'm here I'm bloody well going to try and enjoy it. I suppose I'll just be icy polite and try and keep out of his way as much as possible.

And is there any point in trying to get to the bottom of why he's started to behave in this way? I am ok about it, I knew something was wrong but I'm still hugely disappointed in him and further disillusioned about ever finding anyone kind and decent..... off to read the "bring me my slippers" thread now.

OP posts:
skidoodle · 27/01/2010 15:08

In what way were you taken in?

Things didn't work out between you (to put it mildly) and he's looking to date again.

What's the problem?

You'd only been going out for a few months, he doesn't really owe you any kind of mourning period.

AnyFucker · 27/01/2010 15:31

no big surprises there then

although am not sure what else you expected...

sparkybint · 27/01/2010 17:17

Nothing else I suppose Auntie Fucker and your words "don't believe the hype" are now
etched in my brain.

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 27/01/2010 18:25

< puts gangsta-rap voice on >

don't believe the hype

< grinds pelvis >

Monty100 · 27/01/2010 20:45

PMSL at AF.

Sparky hope you shove this one well behind you.

Next! (twunts need not apply)

2rebecca · 27/01/2010 21:19

I think it just shows that people who fall in love easily also fall out of love easily and alot of the time it's not really you they're in love with but their idea of you which often bears no relation to the real you.
Stick to introverted Scots. You also get to run your hand up their thigh when sitting next to them in their kilt which is VERY nice!

sparkybint · 28/01/2010 11:48

Ooh er 2becs, that sounds lovely! Where do I get one of those? And you're spot on about falling in love at the drop of a hat, he told me I ticked all the boxes before he even met me. Scary.....

OP posts:
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