classic case of too much too soon UPDATE

[sparkybint]

My earlier thread is here - hope link works.www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/890642-classic-case-of-too-much-too-soon-should-I-walk. I should have listened to you all but silly me, I gave him the benefit of the doubt.

Now I'm stuck in Dubai, a place that does nothing for me at all although the weather's great, with a MONSTER. He's revealed his true colours now, stopped showing any interest in me unless I'm doing something for him, and the other night after he initiated sex and then I wanted to carry on he said "What are you doing? Get off me and go to sleep". He hardly ever cracks a smile, and it's not only me who he's being moody with. He's been really rude and unkind to more waiters than I care to mention. He's also still very angry with his STB ex-wife and obviously not laid it to rest.

So I've been putting on a brave face and being all sweetness and light because I didn't want to have a falling out over here and I couldn't leave and get home. But last night, I couldn't take it any more. He looked over the table at me and told me my grey roots needed doing. This might be OK if you've been married for years, but after less than 4 months?? I calmly told him what I thought of his behaviour since we'd arrived and that I didn't understand it. Why had he fed me all that stuff about love? You know what he did? Stormed off (if you can do that in a wheelchair).

So my question is ladies, how do I survive the next days? (we go back on Saturday). He assumed I'd want to go home there and then and was trying to book me a flight last night (paid for by him) but I'm staying put -I feel he got me here under false pretences and now I'm here I'm bloody well going to try and enjoy it. I suppose I'll just be icy polite and try and keep out of his way as much as possible.

And is there any point in trying to get to the bottom of why he's started to behave in this way? I am ok about it, I knew something was wrong but I'm still hugely disappointed in him and further disillusioned about ever finding anyone kind and decent..... off to read the "bring me my slippers" thread now.

extended paw readily accepted

offensiveness is subjective - we should agree to disagree here or this will go on forever. I may have crossed your imaginary line but my imaginary line is intact.

you can read something nicer into the dancing thing but I'm afraid I don't.

anyway, have a lovely sunday, I'm away to do something really fun like clean my house and do an ironing the size of a small oountry.

'yawn' what was that for Sparky in your last post?

Maybe you are as bored as everyone else now of your excuses, inaccuracies and contraditions that you keep posting on this thread?

You started the post, so why do that if you find people's opinions on it make you want to 'yawn' - you posted for opinions and got them.

Simples.

And I really do hope that the comment about your bf not being able to dance was made without thinking and wasn't in any way you trying to make fun of his disability because that would just be despicable of you.

Ooh I have been called a Harpy.

Whatever...I have started to not care less abnout this whole ridiculous story.

Sparky - did you manage to get home OK?

Does everyone really think this is for real?

Is it - for real I mean?

Errr, I'm home safe and sound. The remark about dancing was careless and unfortunate - what I meant was, he doesn't seem to have much sense of fun. One of the reasons I thought I fell in love with him was BECAUSE of his disability - he seemed so strong and sensitive and caring despite having had such a terrible thing happen to him. I've always done everything I can to assist him (despite him being almost pathologically independent) - I was even helping him change the tyres on his racing chair (not an easy task) for the marathon while we were over there.

As I said before, I'm guilty of involving far too many people in this, although I'm grateful for all the advice (I wonder what you said Grace, to have your post deleted!).
My new chatname will be dozymare.

Glad you are back OK Sparky, but you missed out the important bit! How it end with him? What did he say? What did you say? (and did you give back the diamonds? )

what is the situation now, sparks (or is it dozymare now ?)

how did he take it and how did you sign things off ?

I would choose another new name sparky, as dozymare is rather too similar to dizzymare, who was a poster on here strongly suspected of trolling by many.

Sparky, you're still with him, aren't you?

gotta be dozybint.... for old times sake

come on now love, spill the beans! Glad you are home safe and sound!

Oh no, they are probably choosing a ring as we speak

Gosh, just re-read the whole thread, the whole episode seems like some sort of bizarre dream. How did I get myself into a situation like that? Sorry for making you all so cross, feel chastened and very dozy but wiser too.

It's definitely over between us and he hasn't protested so is probably as relieved as I am. Giving the dating a break while I let the lesson sink home. It's interesting to see such a wide range of opinions as to how I've behaved, and I suppose I've learnt something from them all. But some of the nastiness has surprised me too.

There's been some terrific advice on here, I hope you know who you are My RL friends are being brilliant and the best thing is I can now focus 100% on lovely DD who has made me promise that I'll not go away for so long without her ever again.

Good outcome.

I think some of the "nastiness" you describe is because your story was so frustrating to bystanders as to seem like a complete flight of fancy...

Your justifications, your inaction, your refusal to see what was staring you right in the face

But then you accept those things as being part of your problem with picking decent men...so hopefully you will pick a better one next time

Sparky (sorry, not calling anyone a dozy mare!) yes you had some harsh words, but you must imagine us all sat looking at out laptops going arghhhh whatchoo doing woman. Was frustration on my part, not nastiness.

Bwet you are glad to be home.

You are both right, and it was just the equivalent of a real-life ear-boxing!

Head screwed back on, pointing in the right direction now, hope I can keep it that way

Just read your first post on my original thread AF - there won't be a next time, I promise but just in case there is....I promise to listen to you!

Lol at anyfucker's 'i'll box your ears if I see you again' or words to that effect.

see sparks?

Listen to your Auntie Fucker !

I didn't get these wrinkles and grey hair for nuffin, you know...

at Auntie Fucker!!

We should all adopt you as our own personal agony aunt!

Glad you are rid Sparky and you are right, a lot of us did get frustrated with you with the drama that was going on. Lets just hope you have learnt from it and it has been a valuable lesson

PLEASE PLEASE change your name to Auntie Fucker.

I would second that!

nooo, it makes me sound old

and might look a little bit inappropriate on the friday night threads...

Well, here's a nice little postscript - shouldn't be surprised I suppose! I had this feeling which made me look at his online dating profile (we met online). And guess what, he modified it on Sunday, the day we got back and he's back out there already!

Makes me feel even stupider that I was taken in but also very glad that I'm rid of him. And don't worry, I'm giving the online dating a very wide berth, hopefully for ever.