Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

HELP! I have just found my husband

149 replies

DonttellBounty · 13/01/2010 21:24

having sex with our car.

Please, I know this will seem terribly funny but I am so confused and upset and just devastated. I really do not have a clue what to do. As you can see from my name I normally post on Bounty although I do lurk here sometimes. I simply cannot tell my friends at Bounty about this, I am rather well known and to be honest I need practical advice rather than offers of cyber hugs. Although I could do with some right now.

We have been married 8 years. we have two children and our friends think of us as the perfect couple, I think of us as the perfect couple. we rarely argue, he has a very good job so we don't have any real money worries as we live well but within our means.

4 months ago DH came home with a new car. He said it was an impulse buy. he had been drooling over it in the showroom on his way home from work for weeks and then that day he just decided to buy it.
It isn't a sports car, its just an old VW beetle.
I thought he had gone mad but he seemed so pleased with it that i just went with it.

ever since he bought it he has come straight home from work and gone straight to the garage to "work" on the car. he knows nothing of mechanics and all I ever saw him do was polish it. He even named her "betsy"

anyway, tonight he goes to the garage as usual. the phone rings for him so I take it to him. I swing the garage door open to see him stood with his trousers down, erect penis rubbing himself against the bonnet as if he were having sex with the car!

I dropped the phone and ran to the bathroom.
he called after me but I couldn't speak to him. he keeps saying that its not what I think. I have asked him to leave for the night as I simply cannot look at him.

Please. someone tell me that this is ok.
Having an affair is bad enough but with a car?? how on earth can i get my head around this.

OP posts:
LoveMyGirls · 13/01/2010 21:25

Nice try.

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 13/01/2010 21:26

Sure he was not just having a wank whilst he happened to be working on the car?

SixtyFootDoll · 13/01/2010 21:27
Biscuit
BelleDameSansMerci · 13/01/2010 21:27

Perhaps he was adjusting a flange?

humptynumpty · 13/01/2010 21:28

and

cathcat · 13/01/2010 21:29

is it not a bit cold for this sort of thing?

PacificDogwood · 13/01/2010 21:29

Is it Friday??

displayuntilbestbefore · 13/01/2010 21:29

saves money on chamois leathers

MyCatIsABiggerBastardThanYours · 13/01/2010 21:29

ummm... hope the car doesn't get rear ended...

Wastwinsetandpearls · 13/01/2010 21:29

Is it an excort?

coppit · 13/01/2010 21:30

Don't worry about it. At least it was not a human being.

Have you seen nip tuck recently? There is a case of a man shagging furniture in that.

hf128219 · 13/01/2010 21:30

I don't get it. I always find my dh rubbing his knob over the bonnet of our car.

Don't all men do it?

SqueezyIsStartinAResolution · 13/01/2010 21:30

Did you hear about the guy who tried to give a Beetle a blow job?

He burnt his lips on the exhaust.

Ch-boom.

fairywithflowers · 13/01/2010 21:31

Is it school hols yet.....

humptynumpty · 13/01/2010 21:31

according to dh semen is a good substitute for t-cut, gives an excellent finish!

DonttellBounty · 13/01/2010 21:31

IFyourhappyandyouknowit That was what I first thought but he wasn't touching himself, just rubbing himself against the bonnet.

belledamesansmerci I don't know what the flange is. I wouldn't have thought he would need an erection in order to fix it though surely?

OP posts:
geordieminx · 13/01/2010 21:31

Surely the exhaust would have been more....enjoyable?

On a side note... salt isnt good for the paintwork - perhaps you could advise him?

BelleDameSansMerci · 13/01/2010 21:31

Maybe he'd run out of wax?

bonkerz · 13/01/2010 21:31

maybe his love juice is better than wax in this weather.....

(((sorry even i think thats probably a disgusting comment)))

JustKeepSoddingSnowing · 13/01/2010 21:32

Maybe Beetles are just irresistible?

here

fairywithflowers · 13/01/2010 21:32

hf -

bonkerz · 13/01/2010 21:32

lol belledamesansmerci....seems we thought the same! LOL

mrsboogie · 13/01/2010 21:33

nah, they're not gonna go for it OP...

poshwellies · 13/01/2010 21:33

Not Herbie! That's just sick

Zoonose · 13/01/2010 21:35

Well, I know this sounds funny and it must be a bit of a shock and I guess if I was you I wouldn't really know what to think either ... but I guess it's just masturbating really, for whatever reason it's caught his imagination and turned him on - maybe it just feels nice and maybe a bit nice because it's sort of wrong - if you know what I mean?
I can't say how I'd feel - I would definitely feel a bit confused! - but he's not having an affair with another woman. Rather than block him out I would just try and talk to him about it - but things turn people on for no real explainable reason at all, there may be nothing more to it. I suppose if you were feeling like it and prepared to put your confusion to one side and just accept it, you could join him in his fantasy?!
Sorry if this isn't really want you want to hear! But it might help to just try and accept that he was doing that and he liked it and maybe there's nothing really too wrong with it? - even if it seems a bit weird - it's not harmful - here is a point in your lives where you could suddenly feel like strangers in that you might feel like you don't know him like you thought, or you could take this as it is and get to find out what it's all about - which is hopefully just feeling good.
?

Swipe left for the next trending thread