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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

HELP! I have just found my husband

149 replies

DonttellBounty · 13/01/2010 21:24

having sex with our car.

Please, I know this will seem terribly funny but I am so confused and upset and just devastated. I really do not have a clue what to do. As you can see from my name I normally post on Bounty although I do lurk here sometimes. I simply cannot tell my friends at Bounty about this, I am rather well known and to be honest I need practical advice rather than offers of cyber hugs. Although I could do with some right now.

We have been married 8 years. we have two children and our friends think of us as the perfect couple, I think of us as the perfect couple. we rarely argue, he has a very good job so we don't have any real money worries as we live well but within our means.

4 months ago DH came home with a new car. He said it was an impulse buy. he had been drooling over it in the showroom on his way home from work for weeks and then that day he just decided to buy it.
It isn't a sports car, its just an old VW beetle.
I thought he had gone mad but he seemed so pleased with it that i just went with it.

ever since he bought it he has come straight home from work and gone straight to the garage to "work" on the car. he knows nothing of mechanics and all I ever saw him do was polish it. He even named her "betsy"

anyway, tonight he goes to the garage as usual. the phone rings for him so I take it to him. I swing the garage door open to see him stood with his trousers down, erect penis rubbing himself against the bonnet as if he were having sex with the car!

I dropped the phone and ran to the bathroom.
he called after me but I couldn't speak to him. he keeps saying that its not what I think. I have asked him to leave for the night as I simply cannot look at him.

Please. someone tell me that this is ok.
Having an affair is bad enough but with a car?? how on earth can i get my head around this.

OP posts:
MitsubishiWarrioress · 13/01/2010 22:13

''imagine yourself on your hands and knees making brum brum noises. Is that something you can do?''

I am literally crying with laughter..thanks for that

bonkerz · 13/01/2010 22:16

take him dogging! then he can have the car and you can have fun too! LOL

mind you the way this thread is going someone will certainly say DOGS ARE INNOCENT AND DONT DESERVE THAT ABUSE! lol

have you tried hanging some furry dice round your neck and shining your bonnet???????

DonttellBounty · 13/01/2010 22:18

showofhiands that is precisely what I am worried about. If it were a woman i would at least know how to compete. How exactly am I meant to try and steal his eye from a car?
The thought of him having been rubbing himself against our previous cars makes me feel a little ill actually. our baby sits in that car.

It sounds so stupid but I was actually just thinking that maybe, like women, he prefers his cars petite.
I drive a Galaxy, maybe to him that's the car equivalent of a fat ugly woman?

I know I need to talk to him but what do I say? What do I ask?

What if he wants to leave me to be with a car? Its just so ridiculous I can barely get my head around it.

OP posts:
overmydeadbody · 13/01/2010 22:19

A threesom isn't such a bad idea actually. You may even find you enjoy it too and get into cars yourself. Worth a try?

MitsubishiWarrioress · 13/01/2010 22:19

How about dressed like this Don'ttell?

overmydeadbody · 13/01/2010 22:20

At least your DH has taste, it could have been really bad, you could have found him with a mondeo

hf128219 · 13/01/2010 22:20

Is he still in the garage?

bonkerz · 13/01/2010 22:22

i think you need a real REALITY check ! either that or an oil change! LMAO

PacificDogwood · 13/01/2010 22:23

Is this what he is lusting after??

displayuntilbestbefore · 13/01/2010 22:23

OP - when you asked him to leave for the night, did he willingly leave and if so where has he gone?

DreamsInBinary · 13/01/2010 22:24

Is the car nice and shiney?

TigerDrivesAgain · 13/01/2010 22:24

I bet it's a problem with the big end.

PacificDogwood · 13/01/2010 22:28

..and is this an article about your husband?

The problem has been going on for some time then. How could you not have known??

Would Relate be a good idea? Or Kwikfix?

((((hugs))))

DonttellBounty · 13/01/2010 22:29

He has waxed the car so yes it is shiny. I was with him when he bought some turtle wax though so at least I know he did that in a traditional sense.

I wouldn't come out of the bathroom until he left. he was trying to talk to me through the door but I was scared he would wake the children up so I asked him to leave. I don't actually know where he has gone.

He has tried to call a couple of times but the phone is still in the garage and I simply cannot look at "betsy"

OP posts:
ShowOfHands · 13/01/2010 22:30

I know you feel trapped under the weight of this knowledge right now but you have options. Take your time, don't make any hasty decisions.

Firstly, there is always the option to do nothing. Is it something you can let slide? If the marriage is otherwise okay, pop some antibac wipes in the glove compartment, draw his attention to them and hope that he is thorough enough to clean up after himself.

Maybe baby steps at first if you want to be involved? Let it into your bedroom, don't be afraid of it. Start small, couple of toy cars. Don't rush in and get mini-replica Jack Richards lorries, you need to keep this at a level you can handle. Maybe those little micro mini cars at first. Would he perhaps like to run the cars over you as foreplay? You're a woman, you've got natural planes, peaks, troughs, ditches, difficult corners. Maybe progress as you feel more comfortable, maybe some films in the background. Herbie Rides Again or footage of the Dakar Rally.

Would you consider wearing this

This can include you too if you let it.

displayuntilbestbefore · 13/01/2010 22:30

lol - you're certainly getting mileage out of this thread anyway

DonttellBounty · 13/01/2010 22:32

Part of me wants to consider the idea of having sex in the car but I just dont know if I could. Im not sure I could cope with the thought of him thinking of "betsy" whilst he is BDing with me.

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 13/01/2010 22:33

no wonder this woman's looking fed up Her DH is only just out of the shot.

ShowOfHands · 13/01/2010 22:34

Don't say BDing, it makes me question your integrity.

TigerDrivesAgain · 13/01/2010 22:40

The Beach Boys have a song about this - "Betsy". If I was vaguely proficient at links...

DonttellBounty · 13/01/2010 22:41

paisleyleaf I can only dream to look as good as that woman!

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 13/01/2010 22:42

Isn't there a 'love bug' song too?

DreamsInBinary · 13/01/2010 22:42

"With some she traveled fast, with others it was slow
Betsy's seen them all, she'd seen them come and go
She must have had some others before I finally met her
And now that she's all mine, they'd better just forget her"

TigerDrivesAgain · 13/01/2010 22:42

Worryingly, yes.

DonttellBounty · 13/01/2010 22:44

Oh gosh that song is terribly fitting for hubby and his "Betsy"

oh how terribly depressing.
:'(

OP posts:
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