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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

HELP! I have just found my husband

149 replies

DonttellBounty · 13/01/2010 21:24

having sex with our car.

Please, I know this will seem terribly funny but I am so confused and upset and just devastated. I really do not have a clue what to do. As you can see from my name I normally post on Bounty although I do lurk here sometimes. I simply cannot tell my friends at Bounty about this, I am rather well known and to be honest I need practical advice rather than offers of cyber hugs. Although I could do with some right now.

We have been married 8 years. we have two children and our friends think of us as the perfect couple, I think of us as the perfect couple. we rarely argue, he has a very good job so we don't have any real money worries as we live well but within our means.

4 months ago DH came home with a new car. He said it was an impulse buy. he had been drooling over it in the showroom on his way home from work for weeks and then that day he just decided to buy it.
It isn't a sports car, its just an old VW beetle.
I thought he had gone mad but he seemed so pleased with it that i just went with it.

ever since he bought it he has come straight home from work and gone straight to the garage to "work" on the car. he knows nothing of mechanics and all I ever saw him do was polish it. He even named her "betsy"

anyway, tonight he goes to the garage as usual. the phone rings for him so I take it to him. I swing the garage door open to see him stood with his trousers down, erect penis rubbing himself against the bonnet as if he were having sex with the car!

I dropped the phone and ran to the bathroom.
he called after me but I couldn't speak to him. he keeps saying that its not what I think. I have asked him to leave for the night as I simply cannot look at him.

Please. someone tell me that this is ok.
Having an affair is bad enough but with a car?? how on earth can i get my head around this.

OP posts:
WhereChaosTheoryRules · 13/01/2010 22:44

Donttell - wait for some warmer weather, its a bitch to shift condensation from a car in this weather.

Dib - fab

zookeeper · 13/01/2010 22:45

Well I look like the back of a bus so there's hope for me then

DonttellBounty · 13/01/2010 22:45

He is Phoning my mobile.

Do you think I should answer? What should I say?

OP posts:
DreamsInBinary · 13/01/2010 22:45

Poor DTB.

I like Trills' suggestion - get a snazzy Smart Car and pay him at his own game.

paisleyleaf · 13/01/2010 22:46

I think it goes on a lot. There are many women who turn a blind eye to their DH's weekends away at Bugjam, where the blokes get larey and sit around watching the beetle 'perform'.

TigerDrivesAgain · 13/01/2010 22:47

I think you should tell him to put Betsy on a trickle charge, it's cold tonight. That'll keep him occupied.

thesunshinesbrightly · 13/01/2010 22:48

I think you maybe the one from the website that hate Mumsnetters, planning to come on here and come up with something ridulous and see the reponses, cant remember who posted the link.

Bella32 · 13/01/2010 22:50

Tell him if he ejaculates up the exhaust pipe he'll wreck the catalytic converter and it'll cost over £1k.

Put a stop to my dh's habit though

paisleyleaf · 13/01/2010 22:50

thesunshines, I think some do that - and never go back

PoppyIsApain · 13/01/2010 22:53

An old Beetle

thesunshinesbrightly · 13/01/2010 22:53

Ithinkyou could be right Paisleyleaf

JustAnotherManicMummy · 13/01/2010 22:53

Well I don't think you should say anything to your DH. I mean, it's not your place to critise his life-style choice is it? After all he is the man of the house.

Personally, I think you should make more of an effot to find out why he's into this. You never know, once you start you may find you like it? Start small. Maybe running your fingers up the gear stick a bit... if Betsy is too much for you perhaps you could start small and in secret?

I know a smart car has been suggested but if you're not ready for that how about a shiny G-whizz? You could just plug it in to charge it when he's out. And you know have a little play on your own.

MrsChemist · 13/01/2010 22:56

Could be worse, could be a wall

DreamsInBinary · 13/01/2010 22:59

Perhaps the threat of retribution would work??

mamazon · 13/01/2010 22:59

I really cannot imagine that I would ever find myself turned on by a car.

Do some of your hubbies do this as well then or are you just pulling my leg? It really would be a bit of a relief if it was something that is more common than i first thought.

mamazon · 13/01/2010 22:59

ahhhhhhhhhh fuck sake!

im so shit at namechanging!

DreamsInBinary · 13/01/2010 23:01

Ha ha - this is the second sex thread I've seen today where you have outed yourself.

V good

bonkerz · 13/01/2010 23:02

LMAO

mamazon · 13/01/2010 23:03

I know. I am so rubbish at it.

mind you, don't think Dp will be too pleased if i showed him this one

JustAnotherManicMummy · 13/01/2010 23:04
Grin
DreamsInBinary · 13/01/2010 23:05

Maybe not, mamazon, or maybe he would get some exciting new ideas...

displayuntilbestbefore · 13/01/2010 23:07

lol mamazon

TigerDrivesAgain · 13/01/2010 23:07

Phew!

BitOfFun · 13/01/2010 23:09

Why can I now not get the image of your DP out of my head saying "You know, polishing a VW Beetle is lot like making love to a beautiful woman..."?

mamazon · 13/01/2010 23:09

hahaha i have no doubt that DP would fancy a 3 way with me and a car. not sure he'd settle for a clapped out old beetle though