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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Well..its 4:30 in the morning, and you know my DP/XP, the one i said would NEVER hit me?

295 replies

StercusAccidit · 09/05/2009 04:51

Well, he did last night

After being told i may have an STI, obv i have been a bit wary, as well as with past experiences, anyway, he came over all lovey dovey and giving me the answers i needed to hear.. i am the abuser, none of it was your fault, ect, and i was beginning to warm to him to the point that i may have even considered trying again.

Well, last night i mentioned that i had a doctors appointment on thursday, he was like, oh, to check if you have an STI? I know you think i have given it to you. I can read you like a book, you think 'that dirty bastard has given me a disease'...dont you?

"I assure you i am thinking nothing of the sort," i said, "Given that you swore on your kids lives that you didn't sleep with any of them, you went to meet one, and chatted to the others online."

He got up from the sofa, and came towards me in the doorway, and PUSHED me by using his open hand on the side of my face. Shocked, i stood there with my mouth open while he walked into the kitchen. I then go upstairs to feed DS2, and put him to bed, and i'm thinking 'was it me or did he just??'

Then he comes upstairs and gets into bed as if nothing has happened. (I agreed he could stay the night as i asked if i could use the car to visit DD tomorrow morning) I then get up, and go downstairs.
I can clearly hear him caliing me a bitch and a cunt from upstairs.
So, his phone is downstairs and i have a quick nosey.
There are explicit texts to OW on there..THREE of them in fact.
Anyway, i choose to ignore this as i can now hear DS crying having been woken up by HIM having a whinge and a rant. As i go upstairs to pick DS up, i hear twatface say, "And you can shut the fuck up as well or i'll bounce you off the wall"

Without a word i went in and picked DS up, grabbed a babygro, and DS' changing bag, which i always keep fully stocked, its a habit going back to violent XXP...Once DS is outside the door, i walk back in, go up to twatface, and told him i want him to leave, and i never want to see him again as far as i'm concerned.
"I'm not going anywhere" he said, obv thinking i was just angry about STI and hadn't heard what he said to DS. I told him i HAD heard, and i had seen the messages on his phone, to which he replied he had done it because he knew i had changed the settings to save messages.

So, clinging onto the phone, i walked out, and phoned the police to remove him. I went back down near the house, he came out, i asked him, WHY? why do you do this to me? i have never done anything but love you and all you do is cheat on me"

Give me my phone, bank card and car keys, he replied, so i chucked the card and keys into the house, and walked off with the phone, texting one of his 'slappers' as i went.
He came up the street about five minutes later, to tell me, you can come back in the house now if you want.. hmph! I replied i didn't want to be anywhere near him the lying cheating scumbag, and walked off. I turned just in time to see him running towards me, so i pushed DS into someones driveway, and tried to run, he caught me, punched me in the side of my head, and dragged me backwards so i fell onto the floor, he then kicked me in the ribs from behind, and kicked the back of my head twice, before i rolled onto my other side, curled up into a ball, and covered my head with my hands. He then kicked my head/hands once more, screaming "Give me my phone bitch"
Then he walked off.

DS saw all of this.
How could i be so stupid ffs and so wrong about somebody? All the time he was being so nice to me and doing that with other women behind my back? One message said "I will come over there after work and give you a good seeing to" (he told me he finished work at 5, now i know he finishes at 4)

Oh well, i don't give a flying crap what he does any more. I HAVE reported to the police. I fully expect SS to come here giving me shit but i'm not letting him get away with this. I AM going to press charges. And i WILL get a no contact order for DS.

God i feel alone vulnerable and FUCKING STUPID right now

Sorry, had to vent........kicking the head of your babys mother FFS......like a fucking football!! Tosser. If he EVER darkens my fucking door again.....Grr

OP posts:
Meglet · 09/05/2009 04:58

Oh fuck. Are you safe? Are the police coming?

abitmessedup · 09/05/2009 05:04

Are you safe? Is DS ok?

StercusAccidit · 09/05/2009 05:09

|I'm safe, the babbys safe, he is gone, i have made a complaint and told them i will go all the way with it. Have just got back from the hospital i frigging hurt all over.

After spending all day on here going on about how kids are better off with their families and twatface goes and does something like this. Fuckin NOB. The ss have been informed anyway, i told the hospital the last sw's name who dealt with us when DS was born.. He saw the whole thing and screamed and cried, my poor little man

How could he? The baby is only 4 months old ffs and all that time he was being nice was obv buttering me up. Bastard.

Going to bed now, IF i can sleep. I'm in agony but nothing broken thank god, i can only pick DS up with one arm though
How am i going to cope all weekend And obv can't see DD now either, there's no bus all the way over to see her, in the middle of nowhere....she has been dying to see me, i'm in a muddle and all upset and shaking right now with either shock, or anger, or both.

OP posts:
SuperBunny · 09/05/2009 05:13

Oh, SA.

Can you arrange to see DD on Sunday instead? I don't know the ins and outs of your situation but I hope you get to see each other soon.

Take Care. Try to get some sleep.

esselle · 09/05/2009 05:17

I would be seriously happy to set up a fund and donate to it to provide hitmen to delete fuckers like this!!

Stay strong, have this man charged, make sure he has no contact with your DS and do not get sucked in by his Dr Phil crap again.

You are not stupid - you just wanted to believe what he ws telling you so your family could be together. He is the liar and the cheating scum.

You will be so much better without him in your life. It will be hard and you may not think you can do it but you can. Do it for DS.

Meglet · 09/05/2009 05:17

Good for making a complaint and standing your ground. Hope you get some rest until breakfast time.

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 09/05/2009 05:58

Well done for making a complaint and stay strong. Hope you and your DC get some sleep.
Do you have anyone who could drive you over to see DD?

You do have very bad luck with men , I promise there are some nice ones out there and you do deserve one.

sarah293 · 09/05/2009 06:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Umlellala · 09/05/2009 06:12

Hope you are getting some sleep now but def well done and DEF not stupid.

Do you have anyone that can come and stay with you for the weekend, help you out? Or get dd to stay with you? (don't know your circumstances...)

Lots of v unMN hugs and stay talking (in rl or online)

madameovary · 09/05/2009 06:19

Stercus
I am so sorry.
Well done for getting in the police and writing it all down.
I am shaking as I read this.
If you want to talk please CAT me.
You poor thing. That fucking bastard.

JollyPirate · 09/05/2009 06:19

You poor woman. Hope you are okay - are there people around who can offer you some support?

If SS DO come round (not a given that they will) all they will see is that you did absolutely the right thing by kicking him out and pressing charges. They will not have any concerns about your ability to keep your children safe. They will have concerns about which poor cow takes your XP on next - especially if she also has children.

Look after yourself and am also giving you a ((((((((((big hug))))))))) without hurting you obviously. You have been so strong and done absolutely the right thing.

madameovary · 09/05/2009 06:28

Stercus, when I say talk I mean talk on the phone - I'd be happy to phone you. I hope you are getting some rest now, and dreaming of a happy future without this shit in your life.

macdoodle · 09/05/2009 06:34

oh Stercus I am so so sorry, I think you knew in your heart he was never going to change and it was just going to get worse.
Please please listen to what you are saying now, you are a strong bright woman, why do you keep taking him back
You need to break the cycle now you really do this has to be the end completely now you do know that !!

WinkyWinkola · 09/05/2009 06:41

Oh god. You poor woman. What an brutal man. What a vile creep. Please do press charges. Be very public. He is so cruel. There is something very wrong with him.

You're not stupid. You're someone who is very normal and who wants to trust and love and be cherished. That's a normal human reaction. The abnormal response is to abuse, hurt, lie and destroy like your XH. He is the one with the problem. And you've just got rid of the problem by getting rid of him.

Do you have anyone, any family around to help you today? You're going to be very sore and wobbly and that's physically, never mind emotionally.

Take good care of yourself.

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 09/05/2009 07:35

This is so upsetting. What he did to you is so awful - but I can't believe he threatened his baby

What a cunt.

AlistairSim · 09/05/2009 08:15

You poor thing, that sucks whale cock.

bellavita · 09/05/2009 08:25

How horrific for you and your little baby

Sending you a huge unmn cuddle.

BalloonSlayer · 09/05/2009 08:42

You poor thing . Wish I could be there to offer a cup of tea and a hug.

Stercus, of all the dreadful stories I have read on here, you have been the person I have been the most worried about.

That man seems so cruel and deranged that I have been horrified whenever I thought of you still with him.

Now this has happened, and hearing that you and DS are safe, I am so glad that you have decided to press charges and go the whole way - that needs to happen.

I can picture you and your lovely DS free of this man and strolling off into the sunset to live happy lives.

mrsboogie · 09/05/2009 08:47

oh stercus I hope you are ok today.

You sound shocked that he did this? its not such a shock really is it after what he did last time? He was building up to it. That violence was always in there and always will be.

I'm sorry, I know you are fragile right now but I have to ask what the hell you were doing letting him sleep there? you were giving him totally the wrong message. Why let him be nice to you? You must have known you were being played?

I hope you can see there's no going back after this. Please don't let this man into your house again to commit violent crimes against you and your baby.

StercusAccidit · 09/05/2009 08:58

Hi i have just got up to all these lovely messages, bless you all and at the same time..

I wasn't BACK with him i was sort of warming to the idea, if you know what i mean, he brought the kids over when sil was on holiday and he was like a changed man with them..

I almost pinched myself to make sure i wasn't dreaming..but flippin ell, last night.. i feel so sad and so angry i KNOW his type and his track record and i so wanted to believe we may be able to be a proper family or at least keep things so amicable DS wouldn't end up fucked up ect,

His ex cheated on him ect, i'm NOT saying she deserved what i got by any means, but WHY? Why hit and kick me? I've neer shown him any less than 100% love and care, oh GOD i hate him.

Lost HUGE clumps of hair
I will so be pressing charges his arse won't touch the ground.
The police have told me not to let him in or engage with him in any way and they will escort him if he needs to collect his property.

Why do they do this? WHY? Why ruin everything? Surely he knows he had a baby and a partner for life if he had treated us properly

After sticking up for him on my threads as well 'oh nooo he shouts and stuff but he would never raise a hand to me..last night lying on the floor and him taking a run up to kick me in the back of the head..he could have killed me in front of DS

Just so sad and SHOCKED.. yesterday was a lovely day until this happened, it feels like it happened to another person and not me, like i dreamed it..

OP posts:
StercusAccidit · 09/05/2009 09:01

I am going to tell the SS to interview his kids as well cos IMO they are not safe with a twat like that

I asked the duty officer to send someone round to see me anyway

I hope he's shitting himself..he is DEFINATELY going to be arrested for assault ect, the police told me as soon as they find him.

Thanks everyone x

OP posts:
ilovemydogandMrObama · 09/05/2009 09:03

Please please change the locks.

StercusAccidit · 09/05/2009 09:05
OP posts:
BBisfinallyPG · 09/05/2009 09:14

i couldnt read without posting. Please dont le this utter utter wanker get away with this. You are a good mother you rpotected your child, you got rid of this man, If SS are anything less than supportive i would be surprised. i wish you luck happiness, and real love for the future, you are better than this creep x

Buda · 09/05/2009 09:15

God you poor thing. What a bastard.

Hope you are ok.