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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Women who have affairs

213 replies

adadwithnoname · 13/03/2009 16:35

Please, I could use some genuine answers. My wife is having an affair. It's early stages at the moment, and I don't know how long it is going to last, or whether it is going to take the place of the family - in fact I think it is not - but I simply do not know why she is doing it, and I do not think she does either.

I know, she knows I know, it's all very horrible and very devestating.

I could really use some light on the subject, if you are a woman who has had an affair, why did you do it? Did it change anything about you? Did you go back? If you did, do you wish you hadn't?

I think i actually have 100 questions, but it is simply something you can not talk to anyone about.

OP posts:
Tanee58 · 23/04/2009 12:20

LostintheCityLover, yes, exbf is my current DP. We're still together several years after the affair. And I still love him to bits, despite problems of our own since moving in together. What is your story? Do you have a thread of your own?

Adad, just to add - I respect my exH a lot more for having stood up for himself and left, than I would have if he'd put up with my affair and let me walk all over him.

adadwithnoname · 23/04/2009 12:49

I don't know, i really don't. I know that you've all offered advice, but right now none of it seems possible - nothing really seems possible. I confronted her about the texts, and she said they were just "nothing" - There's other things that have happened to, and they are, apparently, just nothing, but it doesn't feel like it, it feels horrid.

But what if i am wrong, what if she isn't really having an affair? What if it's all just fantasy and flirting, and just her way of coping with how difficult life can be? What if she does love me, even if she can't bear to tocuh me, isn't that worth staying for?

I really don't know. I think staying, and putting up with it all is the easiest thing. It's slightly less like being completely alone. I certainly don't want to start again with anyone else, I don't love anyone else, and why the hell would they love me if she doesn't? It'd just happen all over again.

OP posts:
HappyWoman · 23/04/2009 15:21

she wont just admit it unless she really wants it to end and be seen as the bad one will she?

Yes you could be wrong - but even if it is just flirting if you dont like it then she should not do it or at least tell you why she does it.

You do have a choice as to whether you are willing to let her treat you like this, by doing nothing you will giving her the message that everything is fine with you.

But if you dont think now is the right time that is ok too, but do take some time to make your life happier as that will help you in the future.

Wordweaver · 02/05/2009 16:43

I am so sorry to hear how you are feeling and what a difficult time you have been going through.

I can see that you don't feel any of the advice to leave or to let her/ask her to leave is right.

You have to do what feels right and reasonable to you. Only you can really know and understand what is in your heart.

So just a few thoughts, in a way holding up a mirror and reflecting back to you what I see. If any of it is useful, great. But I am in no way trying to tell you what to do.

Firstly, it doesn't seem surprising to me that counselling has not helped you. Actually, at this particular stage, perhaps you are not the one who needs it.

Putting everything else to one side for a moment, what you have said paints a picture of a woman who is very unwell.

It sounds as though there is something very wrong, and as if she needs a) to recognise this and b) to get some help. The text messages, her saying they were 'nothing', and you being able to entertain the possibility that she is actually making it up . . . this is not a healthy situation for her, let alone you.

You have said that you love and care about her. Also that you put your child first. For the sake of all three of you, my feeling is that the focus must be to somehow get her some help.

I would reiterate, as I think you are aware, there is nothing wrong with you other than being worn out and ground down. At the moment you seem to be saying that your heart has no protection left - that the things she does are excruciatingly painful. You have an open wound and she is pouring salt onto it. Somehow, she must be stopped from doing this. It is destructive and frightening behaviour.

All this debate I have read about 'being a man' etc etc seems to be just a red herring to me. This is about the present - about how you deal with the present and move forward into the future. You are a caring, straightforward man who is very bruised and wounded. You are yourself, and there is no need for you to have to justify that. If there is anything a bit skewed, it is probably (and naturally) your perception of 'what is normal'. When we live with a bizarre situation day in and day out, we stop identifying odd behaviour as 'odd'. Incrementally, strange behaviour gets accepted as normal.

She is deliberately causing you pain. Why?
Sometimes people cause pain to distract them from dealing with their own pain.

What if she began to cause your child emotional pain?

This atmosphere of hurt and destruction doesn't sound healthy for any of you.

Can you think of anything you could say to her or write down for her that might give her an insight into how she is behaving?

Perhaps, like an alcoholic, the first step has to be for her to recognise the problem?

Sometimes I find it helpful to write down the bare facts. Never mind what the intention was, never mind what the various people involved meant or thought or felt.
What was SAID?
What was DONE?
What happened in actual FACT?
Might this make her recognise that some of her behaviour has been unreasonable?

What do you want to feel like in the future? Forget the living situation for a moment. How do you want to feel?

Right now, what would need to change to achieve that feeling?

I hope that I haven't come across as lecturing, that's not what I mean to do. It's just a stream of consciousness reaction. This situation is out of the ordinary, and you are going to need extraordinary strength and extraordinary support to get through it and come out happy one day in the future.

I wish you all strength, good fortune and happiness for the future.

Niftyblue · 04/05/2009 13:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

wildandfree · 10/05/2009 16:59

Can I just throw in my two pennies worth? As another poster has pointed it, she has detached from you emotionally already. I doubt she is deliberately causing pain - she just doesn't feel the same as you do. I understand how painful this is, though. My suggestion would be to go to relationship counselling or some kind of psychotherapy (maybe both together and apart) - you can then both talk about how you feel to a neutral third party. You might find that she says things to a third party that make things clearer. You would also have a chance to express honestly how you feel. I really think this would help you both see the other person's point of view, however painful. You might find that being able to explore your feelings more with a third party will take away some of the pain and enable you to become more in control. When you have both "dumped" some of your emotional baggage you might be able to work towards a solution. I think this would be empowering for you. There are lots of different possibilites although it might not seem like it now. Ultimately, you will both have to accept each other's feelings and point of view.
Sorry - not telling you what to do but I honestly think this would help!! I think you might get away from "blaming" each other which is destructive as it means accepting a victim status.

wildandfree · 10/05/2009 17:00

Just to add, good luck - there really is light at the end of the tunnel, honestly!!

adadwithnoname · 11/05/2009 13:50

thank you - she refuses, point blank, to consider counselling. I have just started for myself, but it's a little dispiriting, as of course it's really only going to be about my ways of coping, and that is an acceptance of an inability to change the situation. It's certainly better than nothing though. I think it's possible that i will, through this, find out what i did wrong in the first place. (Or possibly also the second, third, fourth... places)

OP posts:
wildandfree · 13/05/2009 16:33

Hang on - you didn't necessarily do anything wrong!! It is quite revealing that your partner refuses to consider counselling. That sounds very controlling and - unreasonable? I would go further and suggest that, by refusing counselling, she is refusing to co-operate in finding some kind of resolution, or at least a better way forward.

Hopefully, you will be able to discuss all the issues surrounding the problems. From what you are saying it sounds as though she is being quite manipulative. For instance, if my partner was unhappy and suggested counselling I would agree because I would think it would be cruel to not find a way forward. I would not want to be seen as trying to manipulate someone. Maybe you are seeing it as "your" problem when infact she is projecting her issues onto you.

Have a look into "projection" and "personalisation" - I think this may be going on. Hopefully you can find a good counsellor who can talk you though all this.

I have had to escape from some very manipulative/controlling people in the past few years. (Not saying that your partner is those things, but it seems like there are some rather mean psychological games going on). Best thing with mind games is to recognise them and not play.

OrmIrian · 13/05/2009 16:39

Not posted before but may I say, at the risk of sounding a little simplistic, just leave her. I can't beleieve that anyone will put up with that much cruelty, deliberate or not. It isn't a partnership anymore is it?

All this agonising is getting you nowhere

screamingabdab · 13/05/2009 18:25

I am also new to this thread, and it seems really likely that

you are clinically depressed. How is your sleep?

Your appetite? Are you crying a lot? I will try and find a link to help you explore this possibility

If this is the case, then your ability to make rational decisions is likely to be impaired. I would really urge you to see your GP, maybe to talk about anti-depressants, in tandem with the counselling.

I also wanted to make a comment about your son. I don't know how old he is, but I would be seriously worried about the impact that the situation, the way your DW is treating you, and your own mental state is likely to be having on him.

I wish you well

screamingabdab · 13/05/2009 18:35

Here is that link:

www.netdoctor.co.uk/diseases/facts/depression.htm

adadwithnoname · 14/05/2009 15:23

Thanks screaming. At the moment i am too busy to be depressed. I think i'm just "pissed off" and "lonely" and i agree that these are ingrediaents for a spectacular depression, but i'm just not going to let that happen. I sleep fine, though i have to admit i tend to go to bed as late as possible and get up as early as possible, as lying in bed next to her is difficult for me.

As for rational decisions - well, i have decided not to make a decision. It's not fair or practical or possible for me to leave, an i don't think that is what i want. I suspect that he affair is over, but my love for her is now broken.

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