Almost made a huge mistake - what can I do?

[mixedup]

Am so ashamed of myself that i have changed my name for this...

Have been married for 5 years, together 7 years and have a good marriage except for one thing..Up till now have been sweeping the issue under the carpet but recently have been back in touch with my first ever boyfriend, there has always been an attraction between us and on Friday he told me that he really fancied me and wanted to take things further, I stupidly agreed, its been so long since anyone has made me feel this way, the temptation was overwhelming, i could not see straight, everytime i thought about it i would feel dizzy etc etc, after much thought today i decide to nip it in the bud before i made a huge mistake, i think he felt releived as he is also in a relationship, tho not married, no kids.

To get to the point, he unearthed feelings in me that i have squashed/ignored and now i do not know what to do...My dh and i get along really well but i do not fancy him in the slightest, he is more like a brother to me, great father and always puts us first, however (it hurts to say this) but he is lousy in the sack, too quick or non existant, it has always been this way and I niavely in the beginning thought it would get better. We have talked about it before and have never resolved it.

But now i cannot ignore it anymore, its really making me feel bad about my marriage and I am not sure what my options are, he will not go to the doctor or seek outside help, no-one else knows about it and I have reached the end of my tether and cannot bear to be in the same room never mind bed with him.

Sorry this is so long.

Starship, we have just ordered one and it is called a 'deluxe beaver', look at it here

They are called erection rings on the whole, but they are for both of you to enjoy!

Will get MY credit card out now and dust it off!

Starship, one of the reasons we got the Rhino one was because it looked quite hardwearing!!!! I have two more traditional vibrators which have stopped working before, and I they are not the sort of things I would take back to a shop!!

hohum - you have to tell us who you really are!

wonder if these thingies will ever feature in a mumsnet competition...

Wanna know something scary? dh has just started this job where he has direct access to an internet cafe. He knows I use dcolagirl so I just better hope and pray he doesn't find this site!!!!! (mental note - never mention Mumsnet at home! :-x ).

He has never used the internet so guess I'm quite safe !!

Can also recommend the purple/pearly one, and also the totem pole. Totem is £19.99 and works for me, with or without dh!! (am I the only one who ever does that?).

dcolagirl, in a nutshell, no!

Good! Beginning to feel like a freak!!!!!!

I think if you polled all the women on this site on who had/used a vibrator, and they answered honestly (!), I'm sure it would be the majority.
They may not have one now, or used one with their dh, but I imagine that most people have experimented, mainly through curiousity

I actually posted on here last year about the Ann Summers rabbit - it was being recalled for some reason, can't remember exact reason now. I think I will have a look at the web sites mentioned below and see what new "toy" I can find for myself - and I want something that will be delivered discreetely as I am a single mother to 3!

Right then just went and ordered a Rabbit and some batteries! Heres hoping! You girls are corrupting me, i used to be such an innocent. I cannot beleive i have just done it, will have to hide it from dh. OMG!!!!

Well done! May it bring you many hours of pleasure!

HAVE FUN mixedup - I got one 2 months ago, actually my dp dared me to get it... so I did. I've never looked back... WOW!! I'm going to shut up now... I'm still at work and I don't to get too... you know!!!

Have just caught this thread. Mixedup, you say you confess to having 'cybersex' with your ex but would not go any further. Sorry to sound prudish, but I think that cybersex is still disloyal and a form of infidelity. Sorry to come on a bit heavy here, its just that I have been on the other side, as it were- I discovered my d.h. had been doing something very similar with an internet contact (not that he ever knew this person in real life or was ever likely to meet her). It only lasted a few weeks as far as I knew and was basically the result of a pissed dalliance on his own at the computer one night when I was out. I was really, really hurt and felt betrayed and unattractive. I am not the sharpest knife in the drawer re internet, computers etc. so if I can find out about my d.h's indiscretions, perhaps your d.h could find out about yours!

And at the end of the day, its just not a very nice way to behave, is it? Sorry, I'm not usually such a bore

Tell your DH mixedup - might help him if he thinks you are making an effort too....

You are right oxocube, i know i have already been unfaithfull and i do feel guilty. I am more determined not to keep it going, but in a way it has made me realise that i need to do something to spice up my marriage.

I am torn between telling him about my pet, part of me thinks that he will see it as a replacement and the other part is embarresed, altho i have no qualms about discussing it with you all. So not yet decided. Just have to think of somewhere to hide it. Are they very noisy?

The whole point about vibrators is they are MUCH better/more enjoyable/effective in getting a result than my hubby.
Oh dear, I hope he does not see this

Changed my name for this, just in case someone knows me. We have an Omax - www.omax.co.uk which we use together, very handy when DH doesn't quite finish the job (as he often doesn't). Very durable, made to a high standard and could pass as a back massager if anyone found it. Doesn't have many gadgets and gizmos but hits the spot IYKWIM!

I can't change my name So I'll just have to post as me.
We also have an omax, and I'm sorry icskm, it would have to be somebody v. niaive to not know what it really is
mixedup - definately tell your dh - he will enjoy it as well - blame us for it. It doesn't have to be sued as an alternative to him.

Can I come out as someone who has never used, nor never wanted to use, a vibrator? I quite like being in a minority though! The best part about sex for me is that dh is there with me, without him there is no love, and it's love that really turns me on. Of course lust is different.... but somehow doing it on my own just doesn't appeal. I know I could use one with dh but it doesn't sound that romantic to me, rather it brings back memories of smear tests!!! And as someone who can't even bring herself to wear a tampon, I doubt v. much I'd let him anywhere near me with such a contraption!

Am I the only one who feels this way? Not that I'm bothered at all, I love being different!

Mixed, when I first met dh I was already a fan of buzzy toys, but he felt like they replaced him and did what he considered to be 'his job'. He now knows they can make things better for both of us, and after having the kids, we even indulged in mutual masturbation, which really strengthened the trust between us, IYKWIM

Hi Rhuburb - no you're certainly not the only one, I don't think I'd even know what one looks like! I am a real prude though, wouldn't dream of going to an Anne Summers party (have been invited though!) ...... perhaps I ought to try?

My husband bought me one of these for Christmas, it is so beautiful it passes for a piece of sculpture, it will take your breath away in more ways than one!!