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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Almost made a huge mistake - what can I do?

253 replies

mixedup · 10/03/2003 14:14

Am so ashamed of myself that i have changed my name for this...

Have been married for 5 years, together 7 years and have a good marriage except for one thing..Up till now have been sweeping the issue under the carpet but recently have been back in touch with my first ever boyfriend, there has always been an attraction between us and on Friday he told me that he really fancied me and wanted to take things further, I stupidly agreed, its been so long since anyone has made me feel this way, the temptation was overwhelming, i could not see straight, everytime i thought about it i would feel dizzy etc etc, after much thought today i decide to nip it in the bud before i made a huge mistake, i think he felt releived as he is also in a relationship, tho not married, no kids.

To get to the point, he unearthed feelings in me that i have squashed/ignored and now i do not know what to do...My dh and i get along really well but i do not fancy him in the slightest, he is more like a brother to me, great father and always puts us first, however (it hurts to say this) but he is lousy in the sack, too quick or non existant, it has always been this way and I niavely in the beginning thought it would get better. We have talked about it before and have never resolved it.

But now i cannot ignore it anymore, its really making me feel bad about my marriage and I am not sure what my options are, he will not go to the doctor or seek outside help, no-one else knows about it and I have reached the end of my tether and cannot bear to be in the same room never mind bed with him.

Sorry this is so long.

OP posts:
SimonHoward · 20/03/2003 10:06

Deprived or depraved works for me Mum2toby.

Damn, I promised myself I'd be good from today onwards.

dcolagirl · 20/03/2003 10:22

Hi guys - you've been busy!! Had a bad night last night - ds (2.5 yrs) broke his collar bone.

3 hours sleep but came into work, read your postings and smiled...thanks

mum2toby · 20/03/2003 10:24

Sorry to hear that DC!! Glad this made you smile,

but SH I'M SERIOUS!!! Why did you promise yourself you would be good today?

SimonHoward · 20/03/2003 10:37

Mum2toby

I just decided that maybe today was the day to try to start being a 'Good Boy' and not flirting with women.

Failed miserable within minutes though so I'll just have to be good at being bad.

So how serious then?

mum2toby · 20/03/2003 10:47

VERY.

SimonHoward · 20/03/2003 10:50

Ah but very serious about what Mum2toby?

mum2toby · 20/03/2003 10:55

Everything

SimonHoward · 20/03/2003 10:58

Mum2toby

I'll have to get a pass from the wife then to say I can be naughty then.

mum2toby · 20/03/2003 11:02

Don't think THAT'll ever happen!!!! You must have a very 'understanding' (is that the right word??) DW!!!

mixedup · 20/03/2003 11:07

Here you go again, at it already!

How many you got on the go then SH?

DC, Is your ds ok now? What part of the country are you in, or did i miss that further down this very long thread.

OP posts:
mum2toby · 20/03/2003 11:12

Ahem... Mixedeup - allow me to answer that question regarding SH..... he has only one on the go..... ME!!
I knew I was special.

mixedup · 20/03/2003 11:15

I doubt that mum2toby, he said he wants to be good at being bad... An invititation to all of us if i am not mistaken

OP posts:
SimonHoward · 20/03/2003 11:18

Mum2toby and Mixedup

My wife is very understanding and I don't have any 'on the go'.

mum2toby · 20/03/2003 11:25

devastated

breeze · 20/03/2003 11:42

DC< Sorry to hear about your little one, hope he is better soon, all the best.

He did say he didn't have any on the go.........yet

SimonHoward · 20/03/2003 12:14
Smile
breeze · 20/03/2003 12:28

yes Sh after we have finished with you you will be smiling.

MABS · 20/03/2003 12:34

I'm withdrawing from this - he sounds too much of a man for me... though i'm intrigued , where in West Sussex are you then SH ?

mum2toby · 20/03/2003 12:38

SH - ...and what's your email address??

SimonHoward · 20/03/2003 12:47

MABS

I'm near to Gatwick Airport.

Mum2toby

You can get me on [email protected]

breeze · 20/03/2003 12:49

Only one that we can find is [email protected]

mum2toby · 20/03/2003 12:53

Shouldn't that be [email protected]??

mum2toby · 20/03/2003 12:56

LOL Fantastic Breeze!! Our posts crossed.

I'm going to start a new thread coz this is too long and slow. HA HA HA HA !!! Pun definitely Intended!!!

SH - enter if you dare...

breeze · 20/03/2003 12:58

Great minds think alike

dcolagirl · 26/03/2003 10:09

Hi guys. Back after the weekend. Ds is much better now, collar is yellow though but I suppose it is just the bruising coming out.

Mixedup, I'm in Swindon. How did Thursday eve go? Did you behave???