Almost made a huge mistake - what can I do?

[mixedup]

Am so ashamed of myself that i have changed my name for this...

Have been married for 5 years, together 7 years and have a good marriage except for one thing..Up till now have been sweeping the issue under the carpet but recently have been back in touch with my first ever boyfriend, there has always been an attraction between us and on Friday he told me that he really fancied me and wanted to take things further, I stupidly agreed, its been so long since anyone has made me feel this way, the temptation was overwhelming, i could not see straight, everytime i thought about it i would feel dizzy etc etc, after much thought today i decide to nip it in the bud before i made a huge mistake, i think he felt releived as he is also in a relationship, tho not married, no kids.

To get to the point, he unearthed feelings in me that i have squashed/ignored and now i do not know what to do...My dh and i get along really well but i do not fancy him in the slightest, he is more like a brother to me, great father and always puts us first, however (it hurts to say this) but he is lousy in the sack, too quick or non existant, it has always been this way and I niavely in the beginning thought it would get better. We have talked about it before and have never resolved it.

But now i cannot ignore it anymore, its really making me feel bad about my marriage and I am not sure what my options are, he will not go to the doctor or seek outside help, no-one else knows about it and I have reached the end of my tether and cannot bear to be in the same room never mind bed with him.

Sorry this is so long.

blimey Alibubbles, beautiful yes...but £199 squids!

I have just bidded on ebay for an omax, its amazing what you find there! Of course I need this as I really have a very sore back

Its all new to me too, but having read the reviews I CANNOT wait for mine to arrive! Will definatley ditch ex if the new pet delivers!

bobbins, that's what I meant about taking your breath away!!

It is seriously erotic though!

We got eachother something called a 'tongue joy' for valentines. We've found it great fun and it really good as it includes both of you, you put it on your tongue or finger and it vibrates, very quiet and small but powerful.

Mixedup, isn't it amazing what people will disclose about themselves in the interest of helping others!!!

Of course it may just mean we have no shame.

Fascinating thread

Mixedup, you may need some erotic reading to accompany your new purchase. Try My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday.It is basically a compilation of women's sexual fantasies Even if your sex life with your husband does not improve you may at least be able to satisfy your own sexual urges.

This thread certainly has become compelling, i suppose its quite liberating and fascinating to read others opinions!

Oh well Lindy, just me and you then!

I have'nt YET!

good grief , you have a few days off mumsnet and look what happens!
Sadly I am of the "married sex is crap" persuasion.
I remember a sex therapist on TV a while back saying there is only one reliable cure for lack of desire...............a change of partner

I know this may be an odd thing to say, but most people of here are parents or parents to be, so surely sex has come in somewhere(!), so I don't understand. Do some people just stop when they have completed their families, or give up!?

Jasper, you have recently had a baby? Didn't you enjoy getting there in the sexual department, or was it just means to an end?

Sorry if I have said the wrong thing in advance!

OMG its arrived, nice colour!

Enjoy!!!

hohum, ask away! My baby is now one so I don't think he can be to blame. It's just that my libido went awol with the birth of my first child 4 years ago and has not been seen since

oohh. This is really interesting thread.
For those of you who have an omax is it really good - I do need something to kick start the sex life. Are they better than the rabbit that everyone talks about?

I'm just wondering how all these sex toys will help the situation with partners? Mixedup said hers was not very good in bed, so I don't see how a vibrator will help. It might be good for you, but your sex life with your partners will still be crap won't it? Wasn't that the whole point of this thread?

Your right Rhubarb, thats why I don't want to tell dh about my new pet, I was alright about the lack of sex before but recently I have changed and want it again now, but not bad sex, good sex . That is why i started this thread, my current way of thinking is that at least my rabbit will make up for the lack of good sex and until my dh does something about the situation i have to make up for it in other ways.

I want my marriage to work, but my ex has awoken these feeling in me and i can no longer hide them. IYSWIM

Personally I prefer the rabbit to the Omax - but the omax has lovely spiky attachements which are actually really good for a conventional head massage. It doesn't have the ears though.

Oh My God - I strayed into this thread thinking it was about something else !!! How Rude !!!!

Rhubarb - I'm with you entirely on this one ! Shall we go and have a prude's thread elsewhere ?

Going for a cup of sweet tea now - need one for the shock !!

Have hid it at the back of the wardrobe (my one) as it looks a bit scary! Are they very noisy or can they be used discreetly! I am such a chicken!

I think i may join the prude thread too Scatterbrain if you don't mind!

My ex has started sending me texts now, stupidly told him about the rabbit, little does he realise that i intend replacing him with it, when i get up the nerve to use it that is!

Don't tend to use the spikey attachments, in fact I think DH may have thrown them out. Find it much better in its naked state ! Haven't tried a rabbit mind you, how does it's built quality compare? BTW my DH is totally fine with this in fact it was him who ordered it off the net although I can hand on heart say that I have never used it without DH as I do feel sex is a two person thing.