I've just received a text from MIL which I think was meant for DH and it has upset me. PART TWO

[Thishasupsetme]

Hi all, new thread so I can update

Go on then

oooh still need to check the last 200 threads from last thread but hope the smile means things are OK.....

Phew! Do you realise you were post number 1000 back there?

What has happened?

waiting ! Was outraged on your behalf yesterday.

I know clam, I did a little wooowhooo with my arms in the air
Gawd I need to get out more dont I !!!!

Stealth, I am going to the christening DCIL's mum is going to deal with mil should their be any problems

DH is still not home, I rang him about 2 hours ago and he said he would be leaving where ever he was in half an hour, we only live a 10 minute walk from town so he should be home by now

Well done on new thread

Think after dd is in bed later you should sit dh in front of computer with thread 1 open, go and have a bath with a large glass of wine and see if he improves after that!

that he's not home yet!

Bless him! He's in another world, isn't he?

Its got nothing to do with him being an only child. Its her relationship with him that is at fault here and she has herself caused this relationship to become unhealthy and controlling.

Its your MIL who has the controlling issues here and these often arise out of a deep seated insecurity which neither he or you have caused.

I would suggest you read "Toxic Parents" written by Susan Forward and show this to your H as it has a chapter in it on controlling parents. It will be helpful to you to learn exactly how and why these people operate as they do so you can counter it effectively.

Where do you think he is currently?. Do you think he's at his Mothers trying to pour oil on troubled waters?.

In my dream world, he is off shopping for THUM right now, flower, choc, perfume etc.
to try and apologise for his appalling M and his own behaviour.

Oops! Think she deserves more than the one flower

Rise above this crap me dear. Go enjoy the day, ignore your MiL and DH - they are clearly beyond contempt.

I find the easiest way to let DH know he's really in the shit is to be quietly polite and say the bare minimum. Men generally don't do well on the silent treatment.

I was folowing your thread last night THUM and just wanted to echo what others have said. You have handled this situation with amazing strength and dignity. Go to the christening and hold you head high, your MIL should be hanging hers in shame.

Oh yes, and if you take a big enough handbag to the christening there might be room in it for that frying pan KERRYMUM was on about . Just don't sit in the pew behind MIL, it would be far too tempting to use it

so you have still had no word from MIL, she sounds like the type who will either brazen it out at the christening, knowing that you won't want to spoil things, or else not show up.

I think you should now just leave dh to sort things out with his mum, but obviously he shouldn't expect you to have any dealings with her until she has apologised and concocted some sort of explanation.

I am utterly speechless about your DH being out again this evening. There just must be something that is horribly wrong here, no?

You sound cheery and chipper which I certainly could not manage under the circumstances so maybe you are onto something.

WMMC - I know what you mean about silent treatment, i've hardly seen my DP this week, and hes decided to swan off down the pub - he knew i was annoyed as i was looking forward to seeing him - which i even replied to in one of my texts. so i know tonight with the silent treatment it won't be a long one down there, not that i'm in the mood to see him now, i'd only blank him or yell WTF at him

Whilst I accept that DH didn't know what MIL was up to (although he was prepared to go along with something secret excluding you, even so ) I'm getting concerned that he is also putting his mates in the pub ahead of you in his list of priorities. OK, so you've had part 1 of The Talk, but he's by no means off the hook yet.
How about, the next time he suggests sex, you put your head under the duvet, say you don't want to talk about it, and make him wait a few days?

God idea clam.

I do feel oddly calm and serene, I honestly don't know why though becuase usually I do turn in to a fishwife screaming WTF arggggghhhh at him. I think actually making myself be calm and icy has helped me to deal with this in a more appropriate way than shouting at him.
Although I would still like to shout and scream, I may leave that for mil

I think your dh is still hiding, a bit. I would hope he feels thoroughly ashamed of himself. I would be embarrassed to be so controlled by my mother, as an adult. God knows it was excruciating when I was an adolescent, never mind now.

But he should be with you, begging for forgiveness, tbh.

Glad you're going to the Christening - and your SIL sounds fab.

Lovely 'thank you' message too.

See, this is mumsnet at its best.
Has no one on this thread called you a troll yet? I think it's become traditional to call troll on every thread now

Yes, troll was done on part 1

IAmNotHere, yes I got called a troll on the first thread then someone came on and said thread was boring but continued to post Lapin called her molly I think, I can't remember what name she actaully posted under.
Lapin said that she 'molly', does this kind of trolling from time to time

Well done glad you had a lovely day & hope you enjoy this weekend

Molly well known around these parts.

I was partly joking about the troll thing - I was on the first thread too.