I've just received a text from MIL which I think was meant for DH and it has upset me. PART TWO

[Thishasupsetme]

Hi all, new thread so I can update

Blimey THUM just stumbled upon this thread. You have handled this extraordinarily well. BUT dh is still not really taking you seriously or treating you with the respect you deserve - all this going round his mates or to the pub is Not Good Enough when you've been so badly hurt by him as well as by MIL. He was party to keeping a secret from you which is VERY wrong and should be busy making it up to you, not avoiding you and sloping off down the pub.

I think you still need to have the second half of the big talk with him and make it very clear that he has to shape up and start treating you with respect.

Well he is home now, but his is pi**ed

i cant talk to him while he is in a drunken state.

I am getting myself a takeaway now as DD has eaten and he has brought himself a kebab home

He really doesn't get it, does he?
So sorry, on your behalf. Looks like you're going to have to wait even longer for some answers.
But do go and nose check his mobile. That could be a goldmine of information.
Good luck.

Just read the other thread [epic]

Well done - you've handled this incredibly well, v dignified and calm. I always find getting very, very calm a good way to get my point across, especially to men (their ears stop working if you get squeaky - actually, this is apparently true - they tune out higher pitched frequencies so the shrill fishwife act not a good plan, however tempting).

Lovely that the rest of DH's family have rallied round - I would imagine they've had their own issues with your MIL over the years - she won't suddenly have turned into a mental.

Twat Self pitying, weak willed twat! Probably coz of all the "stress" he's under

Thum, I can't believe the first thing I do is to see if you have updated (I need to get out more!)
that he is p*ssed, but and that you are going on Sunday. Good for you!
Have you any idea why MIL has pulled this stunt? What did CIL say?

I would imagine he's feeling sorry for himself for being caught out and numbing the pain with booze and kebabs.

Glad you're managed to talk, thum.

What a fab Sil and Cil you have!

My mil did something similar... she invited hubby and the kids out to the zoo for the day.. when H said what about rummum she said oh.. she can work.. (I'm a hairdresser) so they all went to the zoo for the day and I worked! I would never have purpusly (SP) have exclude H... and will never forgive him for not saying anything to his mum..

'HE'S PISSED'- arghhhhhhhhhhh

WTF- your fella truly is impervious to any form of reasoning. You need to get a grip of this situation. Can't believe that he brought a kebab home and didn't even check if you had eaten. Helloooooooo!

You are truly a better woman than I am. I doth my cap to you, I honestly do. I'd have chibbed him

Well, looking on the bright side, at least he brought his ouwn supper home this time, and didn't ask you!

Kebabs are vile anyway.

Yeah. What if he gets a tummy upset from it? He'd miss seeing his mum at the Christening!

So glad you are going to the christening. Your CIL sounds lovely.

Maybe your dh has also have had a bit of a shock/eyeopener. If he's always been under MIL's thumb, not known any different, and really didn't know his mum was lying about you not being invited, it's probably come a bit of a shock to him to finally see/realise her true colours, and he's struggling to come to terms with the fact that she's not his perfect mummy. Not that that excuses his behaviour in any way.

I assume you, dh, and dd will be going aa a family of 3 and MIL will now have to make her way their on her own.

lol at clam

Ah! Therein lies a problem! You don't have a car, and MIL was going to be picking DH and DD up. Please say you have an alternative method of transport!

Glad you're going to the christening

Bloody hell. I'll come and drive you there rather than see you get in a car with that poisonous hag

TBH I am truly fu**king pissed off with this now (I am still being icily calm) not that he is noticing. He keeps getting all hand on with me

This is so not like him, I think he is shocked at how nasty him mu has been and I don't think he ever realised it before, I am not making excuses for him, but I think it has hit him hard. He has continued to drink since he got home and he is not really a massive drinker.

I don't know what to do.

SIL has just rang to see if I am okay, and she is fuming that he has come home in this state.

He really needs to grow a pair, as do I by the looks of it.

I know his mum has upset him but (selfishly) what about me??

i'd have dumped him by now

Sorry I missed wherever you said you were going to the christewning. Does he know that yet?

SIL is taking us and picking us up

She really is lovely my SIL, she is the wonderful woman who moved in here after I had had an emergency section with DD. She stayed here for 2 weeks to look after me, my DB had to cope all on his own.

I can feel the fishwife iside of me raising her ugly head.

So you go with DD
DH goes with Witch-In-Law
When people ask/wonder, let him explain!

He is being selfish, but really, how uspet would you be to suddenly (he's a bloke, takes a while ) find out that your Mother is such a scheming beatch?
I'm not making excuses for him, but he obv can't see how upset you are because he's trying to deal with the reality that his Mother is a bitch.