I've just received a text from MIL which I think was meant for DH and it has upset me.

[Thishasupsetme]

The message said 'Looking forward to Sunday, I'll pick you and DGD up at 1.30pm for X's christening, remember not to mention it to DW'
DH has told me that he is going to take DD out for a few hours on Saturday to give me some time to myself, but it looks like he is going to his family members christening and I am not invited.
I didn't know I had upset anyone. DD was christed 6 months ago now and all of his family were invited and his cousin is DD godmother.
I am really upset. I don't know if I should mention it to him or hust leave it.

I meant a few hours on Sunday, not, saturday, sorry.

I would mention it - that is appauling behaviour. You are part of the family and he is being deceitful.

Shocking

My DH would never lie to me or omit to tell me things (I hope)

Mention it? definitely - to DH though not MIL.

I'd be furious and would fume until DH got home then undoubtedly deal with it really badly, ending with me in tears and DH wondering wtf had just happened

Hope you deal with it better than me!

How upsetting for you! I would definitely say something to your DH, how could you not? Do you get on well with your MIL? I would be livid as well as being upset. How could your DH not tell you - wouldn't he and DD be dressed up a bit, for one thing?

MIL is very controlling of DH, but that in no way excuses him for doing this to me. If someone in my family did this to DH I would play up hell with them, but then my family wouldn't do it. That is the big difference.

Definitely mention it. That's horrible.

I think I'd send it back, saying 'oh was this meant for me? only I don't know what christening you are referring to' and seeing what comes back!

No - you MUST think of a reason why you MUST take DD out at that time on Sunday, and see what he comes up with.

or...text her back thanking her for letting you know and how much you LOVE Christenings so you'll see her on Sunday

Of course you should mention it - to DH.

Be calm and conversational and try not to get upset with him. Just show him the text and wait for his response.

Upsetting, but maybe X has to limit numbers for some reason so has to keep it to blood relatives and DH and MIL were trying to avoid upsetting you? Don't assume the worst.

Well I thought me and mil got on well, we have even been on holiday together just for a girlie weekend, DH and I have been married for 7 years and together for 12. She can be a bit odd and sometimes nasty, but I never thought she meant it, I thought she didn't realise she did it iyswim.

I don't want to, but I know I am going to have to speak to DH about it. But it is not like I can tell him not to go is it.

or....book tickets for something/anything for the 3 of you for Sunday as a 'surprise' and tell dh before showing him the text

Definitely mention it, you will just dwell on it otherwise.

I would be so angry don't think I would be able to contain myself and would have probably been on the phone straight away to dh asking what the hell was going on.

Good luck

I think I might send it back too - I'd want them to know I know, without having to ask as I would undoubtably be so wound up I'd cry.
and for you.
No excuse for this.

definitely just text her back saying "did you mean to send this to me? Are we supposed to be going to a christening?"

Ask your h what the f is going on. If that text is really what has been agreed he is behaving disgracefully.

How very upsetting.

I think I would forward her text to both of them, with a message saying 'you can imagine how hurtful this is. DH, can we discuss it later, please?'

I am liking these ideas

Grimma, that may be so but why not tell me, she knows me that I would completely understand. I just dont get the 'remember not to mention it to DW'

Just ask. You never know, it might be like that Friends episode where Monica can't understand why she is the only one who hasn't been invited to a wedding until she finds out it was because of her relationship with the groom Are you sure it wouldn't be anything like that, no reason why they wouldn't want to upset you?

If not, they are being nobboids of the highest order

I do think you should confront your DH - he is behaving worse than your MIL imo, keeping it from you.

I'm afraid that I would game play, and see how far he would take the deceit.

eg. tell him that I don't need some time to myself on Sunday, and plan to take DD on an outing and did he fancy coming as he was planning on going out with her anyway.

But then don't take any relationship advice from me, as I've recently separated