I've just received a text from MIL which I think was meant for DH and it has upset me.

[Thishasupsetme]

The message said 'Looking forward to Sunday, I'll pick you and DGD up at 1.30pm for X's christening, remember not to mention it to DW'
DH has told me that he is going to take DD out for a few hours on Saturday to give me some time to myself, but it looks like he is going to his family members christening and I am not invited.
I didn't know I had upset anyone. DD was christed 6 months ago now and all of his family were invited and his cousin is DD godmother.
I am really upset. I don't know if I should mention it to him or hust leave it.

Hmm, so she isn't the age to be dobbing him in, and not really to understand that she is deceiving mummy, but you have to wonder when this might happen in the future, is she going to be told by her daddy and granny to keep secrets from mummy. That is a massive no no in my book.

oh yes and what greeny said
gutless snake is good

Norbert that is what I asked earlier!

Poor you

I guess it's better he is waiting to come home than getting half a story as you would get if he tried to tell you over phone etc.

Yes, blu is right again! - ask him to come home now.
he can always get some work done later on IF you can sort this out.

It all sounds v unreasonable to put it politely.

Find out as much as you can from him - them make some decisions:

• will you all go on Sunday (to make a point?)
• will you contact the mother of to-be-christened child or leave to dh to explain why you are not going?

- who will contact MIL to explain.

though it might be tempting to let dh do the explaining, i would rather do it myself as you don't know what he will say - given he has already been prepared to lie to you.

for you & vvvv

good luck! i'd be super upset.

I am goin to wait for him to get home, I am too upset to talk to him rationally atm. I want to be noticeably angrier when he gets in as opposed to a crying wreck.

I agree with CountessDracula. I would have a huge issue with the lies and the betrayal of trust. I would suggest that if he really feels he should go to something where the whole family aren't invited then he goes without DD and you could have a fun time with her.

ah sorry CD -was trying to skim read whilst tending to poorly DS on the sofa next to me.
Did we get an answer?

Sorry forgot to answer, his nam begins with a K and mine beings with a V, so not similar
taht makes it worse doesn't it.

Am totally at this!

We haven't got any children but if my DH arranged to go somewhere with MIL where I wasn't welcome behind my back and lied to me about it I'd fucking leave him! In fact no - I'd tell him seeing as he likes spending time with his mum so much he can fuck off and live with her!

Hope you sort things out, and I hope he grovels for a very long time!

Sounds like MIL was trying to stir then....

You must be furious though as well as upset, focus on that.
If I were making a point on sunday i would not let him take dd and go on his own, much better point than you going. TBH I wouldn't go where I was so obviously not welcome (sorry, it sounds so harsh)

I really am speachless, what a terrible thing for him to do.

I would go for dignified, cool but visibly shaking with anger. Calm is terrifying to men.

I can't understand why on earth you would be excluded from this event!

Even if MIL was playing vicious buggers, surely the woman, DH's cousin, would have invited you / want you there?

You are not notorious for extreme drunken behaviour in the vicinity of a font, or anythng, are you?

I agree with anger rather than weeping. Don't be a victim. Mostly, you wnat the serious points made.

If je has ANY sense, he will be on his way home asap, anyway.

Actually, it is possible that your MIL was doing you a favour? You get on well and she might not have been pleased by your DH lying to you.

I have no advice that hasn't already been given. and for you.

Agree with Darksome, leave the toad to his pond.

Oh I aspire to calm and dignified when angry

Go for it THUM - i can cover the hysterical sobbing mess angle for you

mil is a bitch, get her a large wooden spoon for xmas ,it should help with the stirring! ask her how long it takes to remove the splinters from her arse(from her broomstick)lol.ur dp is daft more than hurtfull and how dare mil put ur husband in such a position,its just to cause trouble best way is to get dp to see that.let him deal with her.

Actually I was made unwelcome, sort of, on boxing day when dd2 was 4 mths old. Lots of smokers in his family and mil chain smoker. The "non smoking room" was usually the living room, but she decided to make the dining room the non smoker so no one had to leave the fun and games during the day. So I sat on my own for about 2 1/2 hrs with dd2 with hte buffet table until I was so furious I told DH I was going home. I had made it plain to him this was not nice and I wasn't happy about it, he actually did something when I told him I was leaving.

I didn't go to her house again for nearly a year, I was so pissed off. She barely saw the girls as he didn't go often on his own with them, she had to seriously grovel, and so did he before I went again.
This is much worse, I would not take dd to see her for a long time.

Hope this turns out ok for you, but................

Awful. Have you spoken to the person who is having the christening? Text and say "what time are we arriving on Sunday"

His relationship with you should come before his mother and he certainly should not be plotting with her behind your back!!! He is not a little boy anymore and needs to sever the apron strings!

on my phone btw you can easily text the last person you spoke to instead of a fresh person, so if she has got iPhone or similar it may well be accidental.