I've just received a text from MIL which I think was meant for DH and it has upset me.

[Thishasupsetme]

The message said 'Looking forward to Sunday, I'll pick you and DGD up at 1.30pm for X's christening, remember not to mention it to DW'
DH has told me that he is going to take DD out for a few hours on Saturday to give me some time to myself, but it looks like he is going to his family members christening and I am not invited.
I didn't know I had upset anyone. DD was christed 6 months ago now and all of his family were invited and his cousin is DD godmother.
I am really upset. I don't know if I should mention it to him or hust leave it.

I wish I had an inner-sensible person

Me too

"the mum of the little boy being christened is DD's godmother and her daughter was my bridesmaid."

So how come you were not invited by them in the first place? Surely you and your dh should have been invited, along with dd.

Was dh invited adn chose to take MIL?
Was MIL invited adn chose to take dh?

The family of the little boy beign christened surely would have invited you adn dh and dd as a 'family unit'.

Something is very odd here???

AmIWhatandWhy makes an interesting point. That text doesn't quite sound right. There is no reason on earth that there could be a family Christening for the child of your DD's godmother, that your DH and your DD, fgs, would be invited to, but not you. So outrageous that I don't think it can be true. So, could it be someone playing a very nasty, unpleasant trick on you?

They don't send invites out and it is all done by word of mouth in the family. DD's godmother is mil's DN, so DH's cousin.

I am really hoping that is all a big mistake, I have sent the text that Blu suggested and I am just waiting now.

Really hoping I have got the wrong end of the stick.

Surely it is really time to talk seriously to Dh. Strange behaviour

Fingers crossed for you....very horrible situation.

But the text was a bit over-explicit. Which is fishy.

Glad you sent it. It's better than sitting and simmering (as I would)

Do you think your MIL sent you the text on purpose? Is she trying to cause trouble?

You're MARRIED, fgs. So if there's a family event going on, you come as a package.
There MUST be a misunderstanding.

Aw, this is horrible. Really feel for you and hope it's all a big mistake.

Stripey, mil has never really been like that with me, yes she challenged me about how I should 'look after' her son, but I told her straight then, that he is a grown man and can look after himself. I somethimes get the feeling that she thinks I am not good enough for DH.

Still no response from either of them but DH may well be teaching so wont be able to check his phone until later.

If she calls, be calm and dignified, listen but don't accept or agree anything. Or argue. Just listen to what she has to say and say 'well, this is all something I need to talk to DH about, really, Bye'

Blu, I know where to come if I need good 'grown up' advice

I would have probably stewed on it and then a few days down the line I would have shouted and cried and been all 'WTF'.

Thank you for the sane, adult, advice.

justkeepswimming you are really sneaky! I like you and your fab ideas! do it thishasupsetme, text the old bag back! Then, confront your DH who obviously was being sneaky too!

You have to mention it! That's awful, feel so bad for you. Hope you have got the wrong end of the stick.

I would tell DH and MIL that my daughter is not going anywhere where I am not welcome. Not this Sunday, not ever.

No need for big arguments, but this would need to be said imo.

agree that it sounds odd and that someone may be stirring
can't help thinking there must be some sort of explanation
but can understand howe upset you feel
well done for sending text and hope you get some sense out of dh
good luck

Cote, that is what I want to say to DH but I didn't think I would be within my rights to do so, also at the minute I just want to get to the bottom of what is actually going on before I do something like that.

Is it possible that your MIL and DH are protecting you from somone else's unkindness?

Of course you would be within your rights to say that - you are part of the family and cannot reasonably be excluded.

Bubba, possible, butthen why would DH go, he should decline the invitation. I would if it were the other way round.

DH has asked if you get drunk easy