FAB & GLAM PART 8 - Onwards and Upwards!

[ginnny]

8000 posts - how do we find so much to talk about

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Witchybella,im so sorry that he has upset you by doing what hes done,what an awful thing to do to someone that you claim to love.

yesterday i decided that i couldnt see H as much as i have been doing,it hurts so much when hes here,when he came round to drop dd off after school i was very cool and quiet,he asked me what was wrong and i said nothing (i ws frightened of crying).

DD was in hysterics after he went and i couldnt calm her down,i text him and asked him to phone her,she was sobbing down the phone,so he said hed come round tomorro and put her to bed.-oh no i thought.

so i text him saying ok,but i think its best f you dont come round so much.

then followed a 2 hour text row,where we both said some extremely nasty things to each other,he asked could he come round and talk to me and i said theres no point and he asked again so i said ok.

he stayed until gone midnight,we talked and talked,we have never had so much to say to each other,and we have both agreed to go to relate.

so we will see how it goes.

God if there was pictures of my arse I would die.

My DS1 has just been on the phone and he is very upset as someone mentioned it at school

I am going to have to say something to him, gosh why would he do something like that when he is telling me he loves me

Jenk - I am glad you both have agreed to go to relate. Hopefully its the step forward that you both need.

Wow - an new thread already!!!

Dior - fantastically well done! Will there be anything left of you by the time we do lunch! .

Witchy, that is awful. He is NO gentleman - and especially to put DS1 in that position - well, he's lost all chance of a reprochement there! Yes, I would have to say something, not so much on my own behalf (I'd hope some of the pictures might make people think the less of him and the more of you ) - but because he had no right to embarrass your children.

Jenk, very glad you are trying Relate. I found last week ghastly, but feel much more hopeful this week (though one of the cats got bawled at this morning as she was mewing for me outside the bedroom door when we were trying to sleep ). Hope you don't have too long to wait for an appointment. And very glad that he is able to withstand his family. They sound toxic.

HW - how are you and H today? Does he seem any better?

As for us, I've got a parents eve at DD's new school tonight - and am already wondering whether to beard the Head of English about their late policy (if you're one minute late, you can't enter the class). DD got thrown out of class yesterday, because she was 10 mins late. The teacher would not listen to her excuse (she'd had to wait 25 minutes for a bus) - and blanked her the rest of the day every time she saw her in the corridor and wanted to explain. As she's new to the school, she really doesn't want the teacher to think she's someone who's deliberately careless about time keeping. Seems to me the teacher was downright rude not to at least give her a minute later. She was so upset, she texted me at work. Don't know whether I should leave it or just start driving her to school - which I don't want to do for carbon footprint reasons - and it would mean me adding to the traffic that makes the buses late in the first place! Ooh, quandary! Also don't want to be seen as an arsey parent!

As for DP and I, we seem to be getting on all right. He came home from watching the match at the pub early, saying that he'd been thrown out. Turned out the pub was raided by the police and everyone had to leave . I'm wondering now if it was my fault, as we had a report at work that the pub were breaking every health and safety / staff employment rule going, and I shopped them to the Council . DP said he would forgive me if it WAS my fault, as it was a boring match, anyway . We stayed up far too late playing old vinyls (my CD player is broke) - DD had to ask us to turn it down as my old LP of the Messiah was keeping her awake - and it was nice being our usual selves again.

So, I am hopeful.

Dior - well done. Gosh you are doing so well I don't use the word gosh often. I reserve it for occasions like this

Tannee - sounds as if things are going well. Long may they continue

Jenk - Ooh sounds promising. Your relationship with h sounds quite intense -?

Witchy - glad you look good in the pics (at least) but your poor ds I think I would have to slap p for putting dc in that position. What a selfish . When are you going to speak to him? Good luck.

Tannee - what power getting a pub closed down! Respect!!!
Jenkl Glad you were able to have a good talk and I hope Relate helps. You have such a lot on your plate and although you need his help with the dc, its not good if you are on the verge of tears while he is there.
I've emailed MHIS and suggested to her that she looks us up on FB since she doesn't want to come on here again.
I don't think she's a hairy arsed trucker like the rest of us but shall we let her in anyway

Ginny - just let me know which pubs your DP frequents, and I'll see what I can do !

MHIS if you are lurking, yes, do get in touch - we hairy bikers would welcome a real woman . And the BEST of luck with H!

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Tanee - Things sound like they are going well fingers crossed for you.

Dior - That thought crossed my mind also but he was told by his best friend (who's father is friends with DP) he had over heard his parents talking. And how would he know about the photos as I have never mentioned them to any one. And where he was etc when he sent the photos all tie up as DS wouldnt have know DP had gone to the pub as he had left the house early sat to go to town and didnt come home until after tea.

So unfortunatly I think it must be true, also the fact that DS was very upset when he came home last night.

Ladylush - He ask if he can come & see me after work, missing me soo much. Yes I know what he is missing thats what he will be thinking he'll be getting as I was sickly sweet on the phone this morning, saying all the right things I know not very nice off me but I cant understand a grown of 43 doing something like that, a teenager maybe

Lilyloo and WW - thinking of you and hope you are ok

MacD - how are things for you?

Baffy - hope ds still ok at school. Hope you are ok-ish. Ok bit much to expect under the circumstances. Don't know how to find you guys on fb so will wait til you feel up to coming back on thread.

Well done Dior - that's fantastic

MHIS - I am and for you that he has betrayed your trust in that way. Understand how curiosity could have got the better of him and why he read them himself, but to show other people has really shocked me. For what benefit would he do that?? Haha look what MHIS is going through?? Or, oh look what a shit I have been and what I'm putting her through??... It doesn't make sense to me it really doesn't.

I'm so so glad for you that he has turned that corner and wants to start putting things right. I am far from perfect, as I'm sure we all are, but some things are pretty hard to forgive and I truly hope he appreciates the immense amount of love and strength it is taking from you to give your relationship another chance.

FWIW I totally agree with the others about the work night out too, as trivial as a work night out is, at this stage, there really should be no question where his loyalties should be. Just the fact that it is making you feel uneasy should be enough for him to say he won't go. Without you spelling it out. In fact it's a perfect opportunity for him to show you that actions speak louder than words and do something special for you! Whether that's a night out, or budget/babysitter issues mean favourite food/drink for you both at home... there has to come a time when things are no longer about just him and what he wants and whether he'll lose face, this is about you both, and will only work if you both see it that way. Good luck xx

Everyone else, I haven't had chance to catch up but I will try. I hope everyone is ok.

Everything is ok here. No word from OW. Things are fine with H and he's apparently in a battle with OW's parents as they're demanding he signs all sorts relating to maintenance and contact. Glad I'm out of it!
Ds is great. Work is hell but that's another issue! Catch up soon

(lurking emoticon)

MHIS

Baffy - oh no, not work as well. Don'cha just yearn for a quiet spell

Baffy - what is happening with h then?

Are you going to give it another go or are you just 'waiting' for it all to kick off again with ow? It sounds as if he may want you back - is then any hope now?
Please do take care of yourself though.
Thinking of you.

MHIS - hope you're ok.

I'm about to go into a meeting where I may be getting my P45 - so wish me luck!!

HW - no hope for me and H. He really does want us to give it a try, and I love him with all my heart, but I just can't take anymore. I've reached my limit. I gave him so many chances and he let me down every single time. Even if he really has turned that corner, which I believe he finally has, I'd live every day waiting for it to happen again. I don't want a life like that.
He left it too late

I'm finding positives in thoughts of a future away from their messed up world! A wonderful future with my gorgeous ds. And I think it will be good Who knows what is just around the corner...

I've created a new FB group. Still secret but more "open" if that makes sense LOL.

We have some newer posters here that might wish to use the FB group for as a more private place.

It's my intention that this group is more widely available to the newer posters here.

The old group is still active but is closed membership due to the sensitive nature of a lot of the posts there that go back quite a while.

Baffy, good luck mate!

Ahhh-Facebook,that is a serious bone of contention between me and H.

atm im torn between wanting to deactivate my account and keeping it.

wanting to deactivate it because there are a couple of people on my friends list that has enraged H,one is my first husband and another a friend that H is convinced fancys me, he also has a couple of women friends that im not too sure of.and also cos of SIL anything that i wrote on my status,got passed around the family,and discussed,such as Jenk is looking forward to some peace and quiet would turn into "wots she moaning at,her kids are at school arent they"?

but its the only way i keep contact with my family, and ive really depended on them and had lots of love/support these past few weeks.

H came round last night and bathed dd and played with ds and put them to bed.

he likes his new job which is really good,he gave me his mobile phone and said i could look thru it,(but i didnt need to cos i know the password for the online acct)he said i can either change his password on his fb acct or he will deactivate it,he said "ill do anything to make you happy again,i love you and want to come home,lets be a family again".

His house that he was moving into next week has fell thru,he showed me the letter so hes stuck at his dads and very depressed.

i am really impressed by how he,s stood up to them,on weds nite when he came round he phoned his dad when it was getting late and said ill be back late,his dad starting moaning at him when he told him he was with me so H said ill be back when im finished.

We are taking the kids out on sunday,not sure where yet tho.
will reply to everyone else with another message cos this is too long!

PC responded to the FB notification but wouldnt have a clue how to use the group though anyway LOL

Still just dipping my toes with FB...was just getting used to it then it changed.

Baffy-Good luck with your meeting,hope it goes well,sorry that this seems to be it with you and your H,but i really admire your strength and i know you and your DS will be happy together,me and DS were together for 3.5 yrs on our own and i look back on that time with very fond memories.

Tannee,good that you ane your DP are getting on,thats nice to hear,i did chuckle when i read that it was yourself that shopped the pub!!! sorry to hear about the way your dd has been treated at school,thats not on at all.

MHIS, hope you are ok,sending you hugs.

Yeah good luck Baffy.

(waves from FB group)

Jenk I hope you have a lovely day on sunday you deserve it, I hope you DP realises how lucky he is.

Spoke to dear ex partner last night he didnt deny sending the photos said he did it because he was proud of me

Bafy good luck with the meeting - there is going to be a lot of these sort of meetings soon - (with p45's a certainty soon). I hope you only got good news though.

I am sorry it has not worked out wtih h - but as you know it would have to be a very different relationship in the future anyway. Are you going to push ahead with the divorce now or just let it go? Do remember that you would still be resposible for his debts ect until you are - but i am sure you are already aware. I am thinking of your best interests.
Bit sorry that we will not be able to give him the arse-kicking he deserves but you know i would still love to see you here for a break anytime with or without h.

MHIS - i did send you a very long reply on facebook but i think the computer ate it so i will have to get to work again on it.
I do think you are right wrt to him still going out despite you spelling it out to him - what does he want? i dont think you could have been more clear and surely any dumbfuck could have figured it out - oh but i forgot we are talking about men here

hi to everyone else.

pc will join the group thanks

witchy - proud of you? You mean, "phwoar look at my bird" type of proud...........not proud of you - cos if he was he would never have betrayed your trust in that way.

Baffy - shit, sorry to hear work that stressful. Is it because of the economical climate? I'm sure it is a worry for a lot of people right now. Dh quit his firm recently then the week he left, the company announced 700 odd redundancies. Great timing for dh, feel sorry for his ex colleagues (apart from one ).