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Original poster

OW posting about relationship

242 replies

Adviceseeker35 · 29/10/2026 10:43

My husband left me February 2026 saying I made his life miserable and he didnt love me anymore. In June 2026 I discovered hed been having an affair since April 2025. We are still living together as he won't leave until we divorce and sell the house.

One of my boundaries was that neither of them would post about their relationship while we still lived together with our son. However in the past month she's been posting on her own website about how kind he is, and photos of their dates including images of him. On Sunday she posted a poem about their long distance relationship the day after what should have been our wedding anniversary. I've asked my husband that she stops as our son knows who she is and im worried he will find it. He claims she needs it for her work and business.

I know I can't make her make it down but does anyone have any technical advice that means I could block her on my sons device.

Thank you

OP posts:
superstarz · 29/10/2026 18:43

@SirJe much better than my attempt 😆

DollydaydreamTheThird · 29/10/2026 18:45

UnintentionalArcher · 29/10/2026 13:15

I think that’s sometimes true, but definitely not always. Some people have a real fundamental character issue around infidelity that never goes away, while others just make a mistake when they’re immature. Some are really unhappy in a particular relationship (perhaps because of their partner) and cheat as an exception and not a rule. I also think some people with a tendency to want to cheat may retain that tendency but keep themselves in check in their next serious relationship because they realise the damage it did the last time wasn’t worth it - i.e. they grow up just enough to reign themselves in. There are all sorts of people out there and the idea of ‘once a cheat, always a cheat’ is reductive and inaccurate.

Show quote history

Great reply. I always get a bit miffed when people come about with generalised phrases like that as it doesn't allow for any personal growth, it's stereotypical and like you say reductive.

EverMerge · 29/10/2026 18:47

I’d definitely be petty. I can guarantee she won’t be laughing. Plus it will stop her commenting about her wonderful cheating boyfriend.

Just for complete exposure I never take the moral high ground. I don’t believe in it. I think it’s overrated.

superstarz · 29/10/2026 18:48

@EverMerge no low i won’t stoop too!

LBFseBrom · 29/10/2026 18:48

She is not kind to post personal stuff that affects you, anything else acdeptable but not that.

Ask her not to.

Blueblell · 29/10/2026 18:52

Maybe you should do some posts of your own! Like when he giving you a fashion show with his new clothes - that sort of thing!

Sounds like their relationship will last 5 minutes when or if they were to move in together and he is simply getting the best of both worlds! You need to give the situation a push

EveryoneUsingOutro · 29/10/2026 18:53

bigsquid · 29/10/2026 14:03

Comment on the poem as follows.

What a gorgeous insta aesthetic!
Your soulmate, the love of your life!
But it does seem rather pathetic,
Cos he lives with me - his wife.

I'm sure your love's wholesome and pure
You protest too much, it's so sweet
But OTT poems just seem insecure
Fair enough though - you're shagging a cheat.

The heart will have what it feels
Love is known for desires and devices
But how can you tell if it's real?
Or if you're just his mid-life crisis?

GrinGrinGrin

Nursegladys2 · 29/10/2026 18:54

SirJe · 29/10/2026 18:40

Fight fire with fire…

He’s still sleeping on our sofa in his boxers and a vest,
A mid-life crisis on skinny legs, a most unwelcome guest.
I’ve packed his bags a dozen times, I’ve pointed to the door,
But like a stubborn piece of damp, he’s rooted to the floor.

Meanwhile, upon the internet, his mistress stakes her claim,
With rhyming poems on her feed that worship his name.
She posts a filtered selfie with a caption dark and deep.
He won’t go, I don’t want him love, he’s yours to take and keep.”

So keep on writing poems, tag him in your prose,
But come and claim your prize before the tip is closed.
You want him for your boyfriend? Well, I’ll gladly wave bye-bye,
Just take him off my sofa, because my patience has run dry.

Genius. 👏👏👏

EveryoneUsingOutro · 29/10/2026 18:57

Rightsraptor · 29/10/2026 14:40

OP you say he left you, the OW etc, but then you say he said he 'might take you back'???? WTAF?

Have I got that wrong and, if so, please clarify because it is not how this works.

Read it again. There’s a timeline.

Therescathairinmybath · 29/10/2026 18:57

You need to make life a lot less pleasant for your stbx in the home. Do you have any friends or family that he doesn’t like? They need to be invited around very regularly. My friends were happy to help out when I was in a similar situation and asked my ex some very awkward questions about the ow. I made sure that the cupboards, fridge and freezer only contained food he disliked. He hated the sight and smell of sardines, rice pudding and marmite, so I made sure I ate them in front of him. Our children had a noisy sleepover when he had to work early the next day. He moved out fairly quickly once I started my campaign of pettiness!

SunnyOchreNewt · 29/10/2026 18:58

Can't you use it as evidence of adultery? Take the cheating sod to the cleaners.

Nursegladys2 · 29/10/2026 19:00

GoodGirlFaith · 29/10/2026 15:53

Very wise words here.

I write it again. The best 'revenge' is nothing to do with revenge at all. It is to not care. How to do that? 'Fake it 'til you make it' (and for this advise, I thank the wise posters of MN who helped me when I was where the OP is now).

It's a very hard thing to do at first but eventually you do, actually, cease to care. And then, you are free and can think about what nice things to introduce into your new life.

That is how you heal. Becoming focused on revenge only serves to have you focused on revenge. This does not benefit you. And it's you (and your children) you should focus on. I know people who have wasted decades of their life (some for the remainder of their life) concentrating on revenge that eventually poisons them.

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Abso - bloody-lutely this. Once I let go of the sheer humiliation and FURY, I just got on with it, out and about with my best ever friend, dated, (that was hilarious, and disastrous, in equal measures haha) only posted positives, and it was liberating. She's still blocked, because she's a twat. Happily settled now.

Cranx · 29/10/2026 19:01

You can’t control other people, just your reaction. Ignore it, don’t mention it again and don’t give them the satisfaction of thinking they have got to you.

BeGutsyGoldMoose · 29/10/2026 19:07

What a horrible situation you are in OP. Why doesn't your cheat of a husband move in with her? I personally would screenshot all the posts if there are photos of them both and use it as evidence in your divorce, which I hope you have actioned by now?
Be honest with your son. If he is old enough to use socials/web then he is old enough to know his father is a bloody cheat!
I sincerely hope your husband is sleeping on the couch! What an arsehole!

madaboutpurple · 29/10/2026 19:07

You could post on your Facebook and say that your Dh is going to dump his OW as he realises he is better off with his own family.If he challenges you you could say your page has been compromised.

ThatCyanCat · 29/10/2026 19:10

SunnyOchreNewt · 29/10/2026 18:58

Can't you use it as evidence of adultery? Take the cheating sod to the cleaners.

Aren't most divorces no fault these days? I don't think it works like this.

Swmk · 29/10/2026 19:15

Adviceseeker35 · 29/10/2026 13:14

I have a solicitor and things are on the move. Unfortunately finances take a while and he's refused to move out until things are sorted. I asked him to go when I found out but he said their relationship isn't like that, and he said he needs to live somewhere.

She's a writer with her own website. It's hard to separate emotions when shes posting about how kind he is and he lied to me for over a year. He acts like nothing has changed apart from the separate rooms and no affection. He'll happily chat, show me new clothes he's brought and ask my opinion on things. He acts like I'm his best mate.

I would be tempted to comment on her posts about her being the other woman

ThreadGuardDog · 29/10/2026 19:17

OneHazelBird · 29/10/2026 12:01

I’m not sure if she is callous.

She is in an official relationship with exDH and they’re not technically doing anything wrong.

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He’s still living with OP and in another relationship. At the very least the OW should have some respect for herself. At the end of the day he chose this, and he’s allowing his affair partner to rub OP’s nose in it. Not to mention his son. If I were OP I would be all over that website making it clear that she is the OW.

SquirrelSoShiny · 29/10/2026 19:19

Nothing to add other than to say he's an absolute shit weasel. Get him out as soon as you can he sounds awful. I suspect him and OW are in for a rude awakening when their relationship moves beyond fantasy / Romeo and Juliet into reality.

Nursegladys2 · 29/10/2026 19:39

EvieBB · 29/10/2026 14:21

Absolutely this. After weeks of sobbing and being needy I eventually took this advice. I got dolled up, went on dates etc and my live-in-ex got so jealous that he slammed my front door and broke the lock! They don't want you (or can't decide if they want you or not) but sure as hell don't want anyone else to have you.
Find your anger OP if that's what you need to move on and break free. He's taking you for a mug. Get dressed up, go out, have fun and show him what's he's missing and that you're single and available, because as it is, nothing has really changed apart from separate bedrooms..

Show quote history

Definitely. I did the same.

Nursegladys2 · 29/10/2026 19:43

OneHazelBird · 29/10/2026 12:01

I’m not sure if she is callous.

She is in an official relationship with exDH and they’re not technically doing anything wrong.

Show quote history

Oh she knows EXACTLY what she's doing. Staking her claim. Been there, done that, worn the t shirt, blocked the silly twat.

Nursegladys2 · 29/10/2026 19:44

Stormyrose · 29/10/2026 17:27

The op is looking for advice, people amusing themselves and each other with outlandish suggestions which will humiliate the op I personally don’t think is helpful,

but you crack in enjoying yourself

Show quote history

Lots of us have experienced similar, so can empathise. Sometimes a bit of humour, from strangers, is the uplift you need....

Awkwardisfunny · 29/10/2026 20:31

Adviceseeker35 · 29/10/2026 10:43

My husband left me February 2026 saying I made his life miserable and he didnt love me anymore. In June 2026 I discovered hed been having an affair since April 2025. We are still living together as he won't leave until we divorce and sell the house.

One of my boundaries was that neither of them would post about their relationship while we still lived together with our son. However in the past month she's been posting on her own website about how kind he is, and photos of their dates including images of him. On Sunday she posted a poem about their long distance relationship the day after what should have been our wedding anniversary. I've asked my husband that she stops as our son knows who she is and im worried he will find it. He claims she needs it for her work and business.

I know I can't make her make it down but does anyone have any technical advice that means I could block her on my sons device.

Thank you

Campaign to your MP to get children off the internet. This never used to be an issue.

maxslice · 29/10/2026 22:38

Why on earth would she need to post about it on her website and socials? What is her business? “Rent-a-Tart”?

EvieBB · 29/10/2026 22:41

squarecrow · 29/10/2026 17:55

My Dsis had similar this year. Her ex-H said he wanted space, he didn’t know if he loved her, there was no one else. Then she found out there was someone else. Now he tries to talk to her about his relationship with the OW. Like why tf would she want to hear about that? She is not your friend, you betrayed her, idiot. Men are nuts. I read the script on here and loads of it is word for word. I think he (and your ex-H) probably were hoping to keep it secret and then come back once they were bored of the OW. Scumbags.

Yes
Total scumbags. Men don't usually leave unless there is another woman in the sidelines 😬

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