OW posting about relationship

[Adviceseeker35]

My husband left me February 2026 saying I made his life miserable and he didnt love me anymore. In June 2026 I discovered hed been having an affair since April 2025. We are still living together as he won't leave until we divorce and sell the house.

One of my boundaries was that neither of them would post about their relationship while we still lived together with our son. However in the past month she's been posting on her own website about how kind he is, and photos of their dates including images of him. On Sunday she posted a poem about their long distance relationship the day after what should have been our wedding anniversary. I've asked my husband that she stops as our son knows who she is and im worried he will find it. He claims she needs it for her work and business.

I know I can't make her make it down but does anyone have any technical advice that means I could block her on my sons device.

Thank you

Thank you sweetheart, and same to you - better off without! And in my case, I heard he did it the same thing to his wife! - he cheated on her quite recently and got another woman pregnant.🙄 Somehow that other woman found out about me and got a message to me that she knows exactly how I felt, even though I wasn't the OW in my case, I still had some sympathy for her as I know how he will have lied to her. I can't have too much sympathy for the wife he cheated on because she knew what she was doing.

Thank you. It's good advice about boundaries in real life. Unfortunately every boundary I've tried to put in in real life he just ignores. When they went on holiday I said I didn't want to see photos so guess what he messaged me?

He'll happily chat, show me new clothes he's brought and ask my opinion on things. He acts like I'm his best mate.

Then I would respond to him (or not) like the piece of shit he is, not like a mate. Obvs keep it civil in front of your son, but don’t sugarcoat what his dad is doing.

I agree OP needs to get her logical head on. Very difficult though when you've been blindsided by him a) leaving b) lying to you about the reason why and c) having to live in the same house.
OP I feel for you. It's an awful situation living in the same house.
Maybe the OW feels insecure, he is still living with you and his son after all.
Agree with other posters, suggest to your husband you both sit down and have a chat with son, answer any questions he has. One of those questions might be - where will you live afterwards Dad, interesting as he and OW are in long distance relationship .....

I'm sympathetic but I really need you to learn what a boundary is. It's about your behaviour and what you will put up with. You can't set a boundary about someone else's behaviour or actions. If you didn't want to see his holiday snaps then you block him while he's away - or mute and don't look at anything he sends you. You don't want to see what his new partner is posting then you don't read it. It's as simple as that. Anything else just creates more drama.

What an arsehole and honestly I totally sympathise - I had to work alongside my ex and his new girlfriend for a whole year until the divorce came through and I could leave my job and move out of the area. It sucks, I have been where you are, it really sucks. And you can't block him because you need to be in contact for your child's sake. He really is a total pig isn't he? I'm so sorry.

He sounds awful OP and I’m not sure how you can have a healthy relationship whilst your partner still lives with their ex!

But that is for them to deal with and you can only control your own actions, not theirs.

I would prepare yourself for them being more open about their relationship, especially if she’s insecure about him living with you and him wanting to prove to her you’re officially over.

She may get pregnant or DH may want your son to meet her - you can ask that these things don’t happen but ultimately you have no control over them.

You’ve not said how old your son is but you and DH need to tell him that you’ve separated and are just friends now.

“He'll happily chat, show me new clothes he's brought and ask my opinion on things. He acts like I'm his best mate.”

Don’t let him. Make all your interactions purely about practical things, like who's looking after DS at any given time. Anything else he tries to talk to you about, tell him you don’t want to hear it. Walk away.

He is making your life much harder by not moving out. Any by acting like yoúre his mate, he is making himself less uncomfortable. Turn that round.

Back in February he said he needed time to think and that he might take me back. He said he needed six months to decide. Mug that I am I never suspected an affair until I found a card. I defended him to people.

Our son knows the house will be sold and wants to stay with me. As to where my husband will end up who knows. He said he won t abandon our son but for some reason I don't trust what he says

Also OP make sure you’re going out as much as possible.

Take advantage whilst he’s still living there and don’t let him think you’re just sitting at home pining for him.

Go out on some dates.
It will help you take your mind off of him and her too.

You’re not a mug, you are someone who was in love and made a commitment to someone and assumed they’d do the same.

But don’t ever let him have control like that again - he does not get to decide whether he wants you or not!

He’s literally just keeping his foot in the door in case it doesn’t work out with his new gf.

'Let' her 'keep' him? You don't have any say in someone else's decisions. Sometimes very good people leave relationships they are unhappy in. Some aren't nice people in the first place.

I should think you were relieved to be out of a relationship with a controlling narcissist.

The best revenge is just getting on with your life, and hopefully, ultimately creating a nice new one.

Op this is outrageous frankly! Please do not allow him to have the best of both worlds. Being decent and civil to someone when a relationship has come to an end is one thing and being totally exploitative of you is quite another.

Do you mind me asking why you are allowing this? Are you secretly hoping that this is just a fling and the divorce won’t go through and ultimately you will remain married?

If you think divorce is where you are heading though, why are you being so obliging to him? He has lied to you for over a year and split up your family. He is showing you no respect whatsoever. He needs to move out and you need to grey rock him and get a shit hot solicitor to represent you. Your dh is no longer your friend. He is not on your side.

Edited: apologies I see you already have a lawyer which is good. Your dh is being so awful to you op, I’m sorry 😥

I'm so sorry OP. I had guessed that had happened, and it's out of the classic cheaters handbook isn't it. You gave him good grace whilst he essentially got his ducks in a row.
Now you get your ducks in a row, I don't think he deserves you as a best mate so I would cut off that interaction straight off. Start doing some nice things for yourself, meet friends, dress up. Tell him nothing unless it is to do with your son.

Try not to compare yourself with OW, it was never about you. She isn't a prize, and neither is he.

♥️

I hope the divorce will go through given how much I transferred to my solicitor. :)

Wise advice from @Oxymorons

he said he needed time to think and that he might take me back. He said he needed six months to decide.

Well isn't he a prince @Adviceseeker35 He's obviously getting a kick out of keeping both you and the OW dangling. Take the power away from him. 💐

Absolutely this. They've fucked around with your emotions....I would be tempted to do the same back!
Yes its immature and it's probably better to hold your head high but I would be sorely tempted!
He's wanting to have his cake and eat it and still be bessie mates with you....I wonder how OW would feel about that?

Sorry OP. This sounds like an intolerable situation.

@Adviceseeker35 - as previous posters have said, you can only set boundaries for yourself. Your ex and this woman sound deeply unpleasant and spiteful people who, rather than feel any natural shame, appear to get a kick out of sniping at you. I can only imagine your life will be much nicer once your STBXH has moved out. In the meantime, the boundary you can set for yourself is to stop engaging. Just grey rock him. Ignore her. Get busy and interested in other activities and things.

I hope so too op! 😀. You sound like a lovely person!

I hope you can afford a lovely little home with your son, you can set it up and run it exactly how you want, that you can cultivate friends and interests and progress in your job.

Once the worst of the stress is over, I hope you can lean in to a new start and perhaps pursue something you have always wanted to do. Make sure through your lawyer that your ex sticks to his parenting obligations so you get enough breaks.

The best revenge you can wreak on your ex will be to blossom and thrive wonderfully well 💐

You cannot protect your child from him, one of the most simple, gutting things I had to learn. He's a full grown man and she's a full grown woman. You can't stop them so stop giving them head space

Post some fresh information on her website!

I am not sure if I've missed your DS age in this but I would say this:

Your DH needs to understand that not only is DS going through turmoil, he is forming judgements about his dad and the new woman. I know you won't want to think about this but your ex H would do well to understand that OWs actions now, will impact her chances of acceptance down the line with DS should it last.

She will have a lot of bridge-building to do if your DS sees her blog and decides that he now 'hates' her.

As an aside, I think your Ex H is also missing the obvious point that your DS' wellbeing should probably trump some posts on her website.

Stop letting him behave like he is your 'mate' when he is not behaving like one. Friendship is an action. Everything you say or do from this moment on should be with your DS and YOUR best interests at the forefront.

Honestly, NOBODY NEEDS to post gushy posts about their sordid little affair 'for work'.

Don't do that.

You will come off worse, as you will look jealous, bitter and deranged. It will not look as if you are empowered.

He's fallen in love with someone else-it happens to men and women.

He hasn't behaved well but hopefully, it will all soon be over and you will have a new life waiting for you.

Sorry, I didn't realise you knew me and my life story
He rang me a couple of weeks after she'd given birth to his baby begging to meet me, saying he was sorry and that the grass wasn't greener. So yes, by this point I had moved on and for what of a better turn of phrase, "let her have him"....i.e. she was welcome to him!

I couldn't get far enough away once I realised what I had been dealing with a controlling narcissist and yes I agree with your last paragraph and yes, I have.

Surely not great “for her business” to advertise she had an affair…. Oh let me guess she’s missing out that part! Very insensitive. There wasn’t any overlap for me but I still am funny about posting anything online with “new” bf (of 3 years…) because I think it’s insensitive to xH. Also, I don’t really want people knowing my business.