OW posting about relationship

[Adviceseeker35]

My husband left me February 2026 saying I made his life miserable and he didnt love me anymore. In June 2026 I discovered hed been having an affair since April 2025. We are still living together as he won't leave until we divorce and sell the house.

One of my boundaries was that neither of them would post about their relationship while we still lived together with our son. However in the past month she's been posting on her own website about how kind he is, and photos of their dates including images of him. On Sunday she posted a poem about their long distance relationship the day after what should have been our wedding anniversary. I've asked my husband that she stops as our son knows who she is and im worried he will find it. He claims she needs it for her work and business.

I know I can't make her make it down but does anyone have any technical advice that means I could block her on my sons device.

Thank you

It is like posting underneath secondhand furniture on facebook saying 'next to take this please when it becomes available'.

Oddly, some wives demand to know all the details. I’m really not sure why.

You can only apply boundaries to your own behaviour, not to someone else's. So, in the case of him sending you photos your boundary could be that you will delete things like that without any comment. If he shows you clothes and you wish to be civil for your son without getting involved then nod vaguely and say, "I'm sure you've chosen something that's fine." Give him much, much less feedback (of any kind, attention, conversation, opinions etc.) than you are currently doing - be calm, implacable and very boring.

Well done on seeing through him, I know it's hard.

You don’t understand boundaries. They are not something the other person does, they are something YOU enforce. If he sends you pictures you have asked him not to, you block him. If he starts to show you his new clothes you leave the room. If he makes small talk you hold up a hand and say ‘I don’t want to talk to you’ and if he continues you leave the house and do something else. You can’t control other people, you can only control yourself.

This might be REALLY controversial but as someone who has worked with children for decades, I do not believe in ‘making nice’ with someone who has blatantly abused you, civil absolutely but you don’t model personal boundaries to your children, by allowing someone who has deeply wounded you to eat cake. And that’s exactly what he’s doing.

Your playing nice has allowed this cretin to hold onto his crazy narrative and not take any ownership for his actions.

I completely agree with the post by @EatingSky you need to rethink your understanding of boundaries. Google surviving infidelity ‘180’ strategy and grey rocking.

Stop allowing him to maintain his sense of self when it is so warped.

I know this is hard but civil is fine but chatty and friendly, him telling you it’s ok for her to post crap on her website is not.

Hmm....

He is having his cake and eating it. He gets to stay in his marital home, see his son, and gets to have a relationship with OW. I tell you what, it's not losing his home and £ that he is afraid of. He's unsure as hell about his new set up.

This is not as hunky dory as it all seems. She lives a few hours away. She has DC. He wont get to see his own son and he'll have to take on someone else's DC, pay bills, pay CM etc. and deal with her kids.

"The relationship is not like that" - what he means is he wants a free shag, without taking on her family.

I think he has stitched himself up a kipper. He's getting dressed up like John Travolta on a Saturday night out, but deep down he knows that the moment he steps over her front door with his suitcase it's double humdrum life with bills and kids that aren't even his.

agree with others -

you need to fake indifference until it's real.
any sort of reaction is just going to encourage them more.

having said that, when he sends you photos when he's away with OW, aren't you tempted to ask him why he's thinking of you when he's with her?

Just block his messages if he keeps sending photos, even after you've asked him not to. If he tries to start talking about the OW just walk off. He's far to comfortable in your home. Time to stop being so nicey nicey. Speak to him only when necessary. He cooks his own meals, buys his own food, does his own washing. He's having his cake, eating it, and making trifle out of it as well. Give him a deadline, via your solicitors, to move out. This is cruel of him. He's a dick, and thinking with it as well. She's a twat too.

The further I get away from 50, the more I agree with this😁. Moral high ground be damned I'm petty as f*ck.

Yep! On my way to 50 and feel the same.

The moral high ground usually benefits the other party. It always sounds like, just be quiet and don’t ever defend yourself because some random might judge you.

The moral highground is what abusers thrive on - sweeping things under the carpet and saying nothing. Fuck that call her out and if you dont want to, send me her details and I will. I love a good heckle.

“Some random might judge you” - or more often even, the actual person who wronged you.

You'd seriously insert yourself into complete strangers' personal lives based on one anonymous internet account like that?

This isn't about moral high ground, it's about not being completely insane. Hopefully this is just Internet tough talk. OP, don't take total strangers on the internet up on their offers to come messing around in your life and the lives of those around you. They're not modern day Robin Hoods, they're nutcases.

Humour clearly is not what it used to be.

Well it's fine when it's actually funny. There was literally no joke in there.