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Original poster

OW posting about relationship

242 replies

Adviceseeker35 · 29/10/2026 10:43

My husband left me February 2026 saying I made his life miserable and he didnt love me anymore. In June 2026 I discovered hed been having an affair since April 2025. We are still living together as he won't leave until we divorce and sell the house.

One of my boundaries was that neither of them would post about their relationship while we still lived together with our son. However in the past month she's been posting on her own website about how kind he is, and photos of their dates including images of him. On Sunday she posted a poem about their long distance relationship the day after what should have been our wedding anniversary. I've asked my husband that she stops as our son knows who she is and im worried he will find it. He claims she needs it for her work and business.

I know I can't make her make it down but does anyone have any technical advice that means I could block her on my sons device.

Thank you

OP posts:
britneyisfreebutnotokay · 29/10/2026 14:58

Are you always this calm and passive?
Comment on her blog or whatever it is. Take her down. Also stop speaking to your husband.

Personally I would take them both down and humiliate them the way they are you, but I like revenge.

piscofrisco · 29/10/2026 14:59

bigsquid · 29/10/2026 14:03

Comment on the poem as follows.

What a gorgeous insta aesthetic!
Your soulmate, the love of your life!
But it does seem rather pathetic,
Cos he lives with me - his wife.

I'm sure your love's wholesome and pure
You protest too much, it's so sweet
But OTT poems just seem insecure
Fair enough though - you're shagging a cheat.

The heart will have what it feels
Love is known for desires and devices
But how can you tell if it's real?
Or if you're just his mid-life crisis?

She’s a writer. She will appreciate a poem of this calibre!

MissMoneyFairy · 29/10/2026 15:03

What's the house situation, are you joint owners, js there a mortgage, what about finances. Stop this now, see a so,icitor, ,file for divorce, get the house sold and finances agreed, how old is your son. Stop looking at her website but screenshot if he decides to deny an affair. Don't put yourself through any more pain and humiliation, let them get on with it, you and your son deserve more.

BeeHive909 · 29/10/2026 15:13

I mean with respect she is in a relationship with him so can clearly post about it on her page or social media etc. you not wanting your son to see it sounds like he doesn’t know. He needs to know you are separated. One of you also needs to leave the house because your ex is treating. You like you’re his friend and I feel like you’re harbouring feelings for him still and want him back

Whothought · 29/10/2026 15:19

Forestoftheenchanted · 29/10/2026 11:10

Start taking pictures of your husband when he's in your home and sharing them on your own social media (public so she can see) with little quotes or nice comments and poems about him.

Obviously not really but it's the sort of thing that I would be really tempted to do just to fuck with them.

Brilliant idea!

FlyByYear · 29/10/2026 15:22

You are being way too nice.

You need to get onto your solicitor and tell them that this woman is taunting you and your DS online, and that your exDH is playing psychological and emotional games (sending you pictures of his holiday, getting you to comment on his clothes and support his new relationship etc.) and that this is causing you psychological distress.

Get him out of the house. Why should be get to play AirB&B in his family home whilst playing out his relationship with her.

Tell him he is abusing you, and that you will talk to your solicitor and that you are no longer willing to put up with this psychological abuse in your owe home. Tell him you want his sorry arse GONE.

allthingsinmoderation · 29/10/2026 15:29

Im sorry that must be a difficult and painful situation for you.
Your STBEX husband clearly has no respect or regard for you so the sooner you are free of him the better.

  1. Stop being his "mate",no commenting on his chlothing or social chit chat.just be civil. Let him see you have detached from him and are living your own life.
  2. block the OW on your and sons devices (depending on sons age )
  3. Dont get involved with telling your STBEX husband or OW what to do or post. Treat them with indifference remain civil and dignified.
  4. look after yourself and get your ducks in row,chase the divorce progression and house sale as speedily as possible.
  5. Good luck
Stormyrose · 29/10/2026 15:29

Eatingdirt · 29/10/2026 14:44

Your H is refusing to leave the marital home whilst conducting an affair. He gives not one fuck about your boundaries or his OW’s.

I understand the op sounded the cheating klaxon but this sort of thing doesn’t help her,

it is no longer and affair, it was an affair, they have now separated, and going through a divorce, they are both free to have other relationships, both single bar the paperwork finalisation and rhey are both legally entitled to be in the house.

this relationship is now his primary and only romantic relationship.

it’s really important people post accurately, I’m seeing stuff indicating the op should publicly post ljke the marriage is still alive, which would be excruciatingly embarassing for her, as all it takes is him to say we split up, encouraging her to turn into Alice Evan’s doesn’t help her, nor does encouraging her to pretend the marriage is still active and he’s having an affair, he is not, he was, he is no longer,

OffTheMap · 29/10/2026 15:31

No sensible advice that PP haven’t offered, but good lord I would like to jab her and him with a sharp stick.

Men behave so fucking badly once their attention pivots.

SweatySpider321 · 29/10/2026 15:31

Adviceseeker35 · 29/10/2026 13:31

Back in February he said he needed time to think and that he might take me back. He said he needed six months to decide. Mug that I am I never suspected an affair until I found a card. I defended him to people.

Our son knows the house will be sold and wants to stay with me. As to where my husband will end up who knows. He said he won t abandon our son but for some reason I don't trust what he says

Show quote history

He might take you back but needs 6 months to decide?! Wow, he rates himself a bit doesn’t he! I hope you told him where to stick that kind offer. I have a theory he trying to play you off against each other, is there also even another OW? Of course she doesn’t “need” to post about him for her business, that’s bollocks. It’s in poor taste and tacky but l would be giving them both less head space or fuel. I would ignore and not feed into it all. I would block him as well, just get a parenting app or talk face to face while you’re stuck under the same roof. Lots of grey rocking and ignoring his bellend games

SweatySpider321 · 29/10/2026 15:33

Forestoftheenchanted · 29/10/2026 11:10

Start taking pictures of your husband when he's in your home and sharing them on your own social media (public so she can see) with little quotes or nice comments and poems about him.

Obviously not really but it's the sort of thing that I would be really tempted to do just to fuck with them.

Tempting! Lots #familytime #cosytime and #makingmemories

seahorsessky · 29/10/2026 15:45

Say to your husband you're not prepared to live with him if she's doing this. I completely get you want to protect your son.
It would be tempting to respond to her posts with "Vacancy for a mistress" responses, and make it clear to your son that any man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy. You could also respond to her posts with how bad it is for a child when their parent cheats, and how divorce has long term negative impacts on children-you could use the National Institute of Health and other reputable studies etc, but whether such an awful person would care is another matter. On the plus side, decent people viewing her business wouldn't want to make any purchases. Or is it the kind of "business" no decent human being would be looking at anyway.

GoodGirlFaith · 29/10/2026 15:53

Stormyrose · 29/10/2026 15:29

I understand the op sounded the cheating klaxon but this sort of thing doesn’t help her,

it is no longer and affair, it was an affair, they have now separated, and going through a divorce, they are both free to have other relationships, both single bar the paperwork finalisation and rhey are both legally entitled to be in the house.

this relationship is now his primary and only romantic relationship.

it’s really important people post accurately, I’m seeing stuff indicating the op should publicly post ljke the marriage is still alive, which would be excruciatingly embarassing for her, as all it takes is him to say we split up, encouraging her to turn into Alice Evan’s doesn’t help her, nor does encouraging her to pretend the marriage is still active and he’s having an affair, he is not, he was, he is no longer,

Show quote history

Very wise words here.

I write it again. The best 'revenge' is nothing to do with revenge at all. It is to not care. How to do that? 'Fake it 'til you make it' (and for this advise, I thank the wise posters of MN who helped me when I was where the OP is now).

It's a very hard thing to do at first but eventually you do, actually, cease to care. And then, you are free and can think about what nice things to introduce into your new life.

That is how you heal. Becoming focused on revenge only serves to have you focused on revenge. This does not benefit you. And it's you (and your children) you should focus on. I know people who have wasted decades of their life (some for the remainder of their life) concentrating on revenge that eventually poisons them.

Twobigbabies · 29/10/2026 16:09

Adviceseeker35 · 29/10/2026 13:14

I have a solicitor and things are on the move. Unfortunately finances take a while and he's refused to move out until things are sorted. I asked him to go when I found out but he said their relationship isn't like that, and he said he needs to live somewhere.

She's a writer with her own website. It's hard to separate emotions when shes posting about how kind he is and he lied to me for over a year. He acts like nothing has changed apart from the separate rooms and no affection. He'll happily chat, show me new clothes he's brought and ask my opinion on things. He acts like I'm his best mate.

But why are you letting him 'happily chat' with you. Honestly I would tell him to go to hell he's a complete POS as is the OW. If he must stay in the house can't you tell him not to speak to you unless it's urgent and then agree to be civil only. He sounds like he wants to continue to have his cake and eat it! I bet he'll be back tail between his legs within the year. How old is your son? I wouldn't worry about him finding stuff online- this will just cement his opinion on his father being a complete twat..which he deserves.

Toodarktooearly · 29/10/2026 16:11

Forestoftheenchanted · 29/10/2026 11:10

Start taking pictures of your husband when he's in your home and sharing them on your own social media (public so she can see) with little quotes or nice comments and poems about him.

Obviously not really but it's the sort of thing that I would be really tempted to do just to fuck with them.

No really I would absolutely do this. I'd also post about reunion and break up sex and how happy I am that we are trying again. First I'd block my son though.

Ucantfixstupid · 29/10/2026 16:21

Forestoftheenchanted · 29/10/2026 11:10

Start taking pictures of your husband when he's in your home and sharing them on your own social media (public so she can see) with little quotes or nice comments and poems about him.

Obviously not really but it's the sort of thing that I would be really tempted to do just to fuck with them.

Oh please please do this! He will be out in no time!

ThatCyanCat · 29/10/2026 16:24

Don't post on her website. This is real life, not a romcom, and very few people if any will see it as a great act of defiance and power, especially as the relationship is openly over. Most will think it's indiscreet and none of their business, some rubber neckers will get some prurient glee out of it which won't give you any dignity, and some will see it as OP being a bitter stalker, fixated on the past... a view OW will probably encourage when she deletes it two minutes after it goes up. Most importantly, it will do nothing to protect OP's son and could easily make things worse. Besides, OW wasn't the one who cheated on OP and told her to wait six months while she decided whether or not OP was worthy of her.

ClawedButler · 29/10/2026 16:24

God no, don't sink to that level. He's already taken so much from the OP, he shouldn't take her dignity and sanity into the bargain.

LondonLass2026 · 29/10/2026 16:24

Toodarktooearly · 29/10/2026 16:11

No really I would absolutely do this. I'd also post about reunion and break up sex and how happy I am that we are trying again. First I'd block my son though.

Show quote history

Omg, I spat my tea out.

This is great!

ClawedButler · 29/10/2026 16:25

Revenge fantasies are fun IF they remain fantasies. It's a great way of working through your anger.

But for the love of all that's holy, don't do it in reality.

Stormyrose · 29/10/2026 16:30

seahorsessky · 29/10/2026 15:45

Say to your husband you're not prepared to live with him if she's doing this. I completely get you want to protect your son.
It would be tempting to respond to her posts with "Vacancy for a mistress" responses, and make it clear to your son that any man who marries his mistress creates a vacancy. You could also respond to her posts with how bad it is for a child when their parent cheats, and how divorce has long term negative impacts on children-you could use the National Institute of Health and other reputable studies etc, but whether such an awful person would care is another matter. On the plus side, decent people viewing her business wouldn't want to make any purchases. Or is it the kind of "business" no decent human being would be looking at anyway.

But if she says she’s no longer willing to live with him she needs to move out, and she is not wishing this, what she can’t do is make him leave, he is legally entitled to be there, so yes she can make this boundary, but she will need to leave the home,

and telling her to tell her child about creating a vacancy is bitter horrible advice, she should not weaponise her child.

if she posts all rhs stuff you are sayinf she opens herself up to them responding. And it won’t be pleasant, it will be about her conduct as a wife or the state of the marriage, they won’t jus6 sit silently,

so all in its terrible advice, as @GoodGirlFaith said, the best revenge is to live well, not start posting bitter shit and publicly weaponising her child and involving them,

Stormyrose · 29/10/2026 16:31

LondonLass2026 · 29/10/2026 16:24

Omg, I spat my tea out.

This is great!

Show quote history

Yes a great way to ensure rhe op is publicly humiliated.

this isn’t some episode of east Enders people are writing, some romantic literature, this is someone’s life,

Hatty65 · 29/10/2026 16:40

I'm a petty bitch, and so having asked him politely if they could stop doing this I think I'd set up a new FB account, Instagram or whatever and post SHIT LOADS of happy smiling pictures of me and the soon to be ex twat going back over the years.

I'd get all my friends to 'like' them and comment on 'Oh babe - you two are just the cutest'. There would be postings of 'Another year, and still together. Despite the haters, lol'. And social media bollocks like this

If she's that insecure I'd make sure she was tagged into it (although I'm old and not sure how you do this) - but I'd keep posting fake shit about our 'blissfully happy' life together. She knows he's still living with you. Embarass her and make her wonder whether he is actually telling her the truth or if he's still shagging you whilst living with you.

Stormyrose · 29/10/2026 16:45

Hatty65 · 29/10/2026 16:40

I'm a petty bitch, and so having asked him politely if they could stop doing this I think I'd set up a new FB account, Instagram or whatever and post SHIT LOADS of happy smiling pictures of me and the soon to be ex twat going back over the years.

I'd get all my friends to 'like' them and comment on 'Oh babe - you two are just the cutest'. There would be postings of 'Another year, and still together. Despite the haters, lol'. And social media bollocks like this

If she's that insecure I'd make sure she was tagged into it (although I'm old and not sure how you do this) - but I'd keep posting fake shit about our 'blissfully happy' life together. She knows he's still living with you. Embarass her and make her wonder whether he is actually telling her the truth or if he's still shagging you whilst living with you.

How deranged do you think the op will look?

Galexia · 29/10/2026 16:56

Shit that he lied to you, but you guys are split up now and you can't control him or his gf.

They are together, and if they want to post about their relationship they can. Presumably at some point your son will get to know the gf as well, if she and your ex stay together. There's no point trying to conceal the truth from him forever. Unless he goes seeking her out, he won't see her content.

You also can't force your ex to move out until the house is sold. The house belongs to both of you.