OW posting about relationship

[Adviceseeker35]

My husband left me February 2026 saying I made his life miserable and he didnt love me anymore. In June 2026 I discovered hed been having an affair since April 2025. We are still living together as he won't leave until we divorce and sell the house.

One of my boundaries was that neither of them would post about their relationship while we still lived together with our son. However in the past month she's been posting on her own website about how kind he is, and photos of their dates including images of him. On Sunday she posted a poem about their long distance relationship the day after what should have been our wedding anniversary. I've asked my husband that she stops as our son knows who she is and im worried he will find it. He claims she needs it for her work and business.

I know I can't make her make it down but does anyone have any technical advice that means I could block her on my sons device.

Thank you

@Adviceseeker35

Have you started divorce proceedings and is the house on the market?

This is the best forward.

If you haven't, who or what is preventing it?

I absolutely understand why you want this but some words of advice from someone who has come out the other end (many years ago now!).
Don’t look at it. Don’t engage with it. Don’t give them any reaction.
I learnt the hard way that they don’t care, they haven’t ever cared and they will not start caring. But they do enjoy your reaction because it feeds the narrative that you are controlling/horrible/hard to live with etc and that she “won” and he is some sort of prize that you are pining over. I know it’s easier said than done but your mental health will thank you!

You can't have boundaries about what someone else posts on social media. As much as its shit, and inappropriate of her, and will reflect badly on her once people know he was married, it's not for you to put a boundary in place over this. A boundary means what behaviour you will or won't accept within your relationship, but you don't have a relationship with either of them.

What I would be focusing on is getting your husband out the house. I know people have legal advice that they need to stay in the house until divorce so that they don't lose any claim to it. But surely this can be overwritten by agreement - so if this is his reason for staying rather than to spite you, id be checking this with solicitors as a priority. Then would it be possible to suggest to him that it's in everyone's best interests to move on now, you want him to be happy and you want to get on with your life, and most importantly for your son to get used to the fact that youre separated so the new gf wont be a shock for him...would he be open to getting a legal agreement drafted to say that moving out will not waive any of his legal rights of ownership/ diminish his interest in the property etc with conditions like it must br maintained to a similar standard to now and you both still have equal say over upkeep decisions, are both still liable for mortgage payments, but you will pay bills from the date he moves out etc etc.

Honestly I'm 100% behind the post your life too, he doesn't have to be the 'core' of it, but if you are eating dinner and it looks good or you go to a sports event for the kid, or its a birthday - post it.

She has disrespected a very small boundary you had. If he loves her that much go live with her, if he wants literally everything at once, a wife cooking, chores, sharing a house, keeping up appearances then he needs to tell her to stop.

If he won't then, cya buddy?

You can't protect your son forever if he's old enough to understand her websites and socials then hes old enough to understand things are changing and it in no way has to be a negative experience for him.

Plenty of long term relationships out there started as affairs. A person who has been faithful for decades is also capable of an affair. Affairs are not just carried out by cheaters and 'leopards who cannot change their spots.'

Please do this. Can you find a really soppy poem about sticking together through the hard times, making it work despite everything etc. and post that with a caption like "marriage isn't just for the easy times"

Obviously the right answer is block her (and your dh) on everything but god I'd be tempted to fuck with them both.

Sorry OP. Your dh is a piece of shit - he should move out while the divorce finalises. she is a very stupid woman. posting shite on social media about a man who isn't divorced and lives with his wife and child.

She needs to post pictures of herself with your husband for her business? What kind of dodgy business is it?

What? Is it no longer callous to be in a relationship with someone who has a wife and child, never mind post about it on line?

I obviously have very old fashioned values.

Why does she need to post her married boyfriend for her work and business??
And why doesn’t he just move in with her and you ca get on with your own life

I think it is absolutely revolting personally but I am more and more seeing people with few morals around these days.

For your own wellbeing I would stay away from her online content. But if any of your best mates happen to stumble across her accounts you can't stop them from making comments on there or screenshotting her stuff.

This was my though. Talk to your mates about it, I'm sure one would be happy to comment on her business page that she is the OW.

My DCs dad's OW also used SM platforms to promote her business and, at the time of their EA, posted about their connection in a way that was unmistakably about him and her (it was the kind of business where the proprietor's personal reflections on life and relationships enhance as opposed to detract from any sense of professionalism). Due to their dad's unthinking mentionitis and indiscriminate use of shared devices, it was pretty easy to figure out who the OW was and tricky (for me) to keep covering his clumsy-ass tracks in order to prevent teen DC from inadvertently stumbling upon and putting a name and face to the woman they knew had collaborated with their dad to blow up their lives. It would have broken them.

My sympathies, OP. I hope you and your son are OK and that you'll be in a much better place in the not too distant future.

How old is your son ? He’s going to find out about your exDH’s partner soon enough . Maybe you and exDH need to sit him down and tell him what’s going on ( obviously not all the gory details ) so that he doesn’t get a nasty shock . If he’s old enough to have social media accounts and visit her website then he’s old enough to have picked up that things aren’t right and to be told the truth about your relationship .
If his parents don’t tell him you can guarantee that someone else will once their relationship is public .

What do you mean by her website? Social media?

If he was so miserable with you can you not make him more miserable so he wants to leave? They sound like they deserve each other. Why can he not go and live with her?

This is good advice. You can't stop your ex or the OW doing anything. As far as I know you can't block a website on your sons device, so if you really think he might see this, or hear about it from someone else, you need to get in there However, I'd privately take screen shots/photos of everything so you can't be gas lit later. I'd also get the best legal advice you can afford with regards to your divorce.

Oh I’d be so tempted to reply every time.

when’s he moving in? He won’t leave.

can you ask him to pick up his washing cos the boxers lying around the house are pissing me off.

great that you’re happy, if you could take him of my hands full time I’d appreciate it. This time share is not working for me.

love this for you! You should have said something in 2025 when you met him, I’d have divorced him for you then! I have him out my house by now!

etc etc…

especially if it’s work related accounts. Show no bitterness, but make her actions clear to her clients…

How old is your son? I’m guessing a teen if he has unrestricted Internet access. The sensible thing to do here is to sit him down and be honest with him about the divorce and the fact his Dad is seeing someone else. It’s been 8 months since you separated, you can’t keep things hidden forever and you can’t stop grown adults from posting about their personal lives. Even if you block her website she might post elsewhere and presumably it means the information is out in public so another source could end up telling your son. The best thing would be for your son to hear the truth from his parents now rather than you hiding it from him and risking him finding out from someone or somewhere else. He’s going to find out sooner or later, why delay it any further?

It sounds to me as though the relationship is not going as well as she'd hoped, tbh.

DH and OP are separated.

DH wants a divorce but OP is refusing.

Someone could refuse to divorce someone for years if it meant them not being able to get into a new relationship.

ExDH was wrong for having an affair but there is nothing wrong in being in a relationship when you and your ex are separated.

OP needs to take her emotion out of this and think logically.

an ‘official relationship’ with a married man who still lives with his wife and child. She must be so proud.
she sounds very insecure and immature at best and nutty at worst referring to op’s husband as her ‘partner’ on social media. I’d say they are both getting the person they deserve there op.

its really hurtful and hard to see. I was in a similar situation. I remember sobbing for hours when I saw a picture posted on a bands website of my husband and my friend he had the affair with. They were at a gig we were all meant to be going to together (until I found out), looking happy as Larry. It felt like being punched in the face. They were a pair of nasty bastards then and the same is true ten years later. I just no longer care and nor will you given time. For now just don’t look, it’s the only way.

So single parents should remain single?

They are no longer having an affair, they are in a relationship now.

Where does OP say she's refusing a divorce?

Where does OP say that she is refusing? Surely it's just a matter of getting the divorce done, and the house sold?

Where does o/p say she’s refusing to divorce him?

he won’t move out until the divorce is done, presumably because leaving will lessen his claim on the house in the financial settlement.

no mention that she doesn’t want a divorce or for him to leave though?