OW posting about relationship

[Adviceseeker35]

My husband left me February 2026 saying I made his life miserable and he didnt love me anymore. In June 2026 I discovered hed been having an affair since April 2025. We are still living together as he won't leave until we divorce and sell the house.

One of my boundaries was that neither of them would post about their relationship while we still lived together with our son. However in the past month she's been posting on her own website about how kind he is, and photos of their dates including images of him. On Sunday she posted a poem about their long distance relationship the day after what should have been our wedding anniversary. I've asked my husband that she stops as our son knows who she is and im worried he will find it. He claims she needs it for her work and business.

I know I can't make her make it down but does anyone have any technical advice that means I could block her on my sons device.

Thank you

I’d respond to her posts

“I get it my husband (who you were fucking while married to me) is really laying it on thick with you. If he’s so wonderful then why is he still living with me when I don’t want him to? How about you make me happy for a change and tell him to get the fuck out and leave me alone as I’m sick of seeing his ugly mug morning noon and night”

Im assuming you got the appropriate legal advice when separating and being forced to sell up?

This.
im so sorry op, be kind to yourself. Xo

Well my own personal boundary would be if you want to move on and have a new relationship, make sure the previous one is completely over.

if he wants a new relationship, he should move out and end the first one properly. He has a foot in both doors at the minute.

if he wants to stay because money is more important, he waits until that is all settled before moving on to a new relationship.

Yes, block the blog or whatever at router level at stop you both looking at it.

True story from an acquaintance of mine in similar circumstances. I wouldnt really recommend it as it is a bit unhinged but it gave her great satisfaction at the time.

Searched OW’s photos for decor (she was very open on her socials posting GRWM from her bedroom etc). Found a photo of her bedding set. Took a photo of her soon to be ex DH sleeping in their spare room. Manipulated image to look like OW bedding set. Posted the photo, changed settings so ONLY stalking OW could see it with the caption “when you think it’s over … but maybe not heart emojis” and deleted shortly after.
When soon to be ex H came running to find out WTF was going on, having seen a screenshot, she denied it all, pointed out they don’t have bedding like that - take a close look at it! Haha his face when he recognised the colours. Also claimed to be technically illiterate (had been useful in discovering the affair) and claimed wouldn’t know anything about settings, AI etc. He believed her as “thought” she was much more stupid about tech than she actually was. Actually he was pretty clueless.

Ex DH and OW had a huge fight about it. She dumped him for not believing her. He tried to come crawling back, the wife also told him no. With a big smile.

I think it's probably time to tell your son that you and his father are divorcing, if you haven't already. He has to know sometime, and better he hears it from you than someone else. I'd do everything possible to speed along the divorce, too, if you aren't already. Having him in your home is prolonging the agony.

She's shitty to post things online about her relationship that started as an affair (with a man who still isn't officially divorced yet), but you can't prevent your son from possibly seeing it somewhere, even if you block her on his devices. A 'friend' might see it and mention it. He might overhear someone talking about it. Protect your son by informing him in an age-appropriate way of what is happening (the divorce and, if necessary, the fact that his father is now seeing someone else).

What on earth does she do for work that "rubbing it in the face of the woman whose marriage I had a hand in destroying" is essential to her career?

A few decades ago, my then-partner did this to me twice. Once when I was pregnant by him, and again with a different woman after I'd had the baby. Both times seeing the photos of him and each woman was like a knife to the guts. Always came with some sort of dig at me even though I always kept my mouth shut.

He married the second woman unknown to me, and then when we were doing the child handover one day he made absolute sure to strategically place his hand so his ring was in my face. It was the first I'd heard of it. He had absolutely no respect for me and thrived on pulling shit like that to cause me maximum distress.

I disagree that the OW in your case isn't callous - she is because she knew he was married when she took up with him. But no you can't do anything about the posts. You will really have to learn to look the other way. It's horrifically hard and painful but it's what you have to do.

But that's another "boundary" that, horrid as it is, isn't yours to enforce.

The relationship is over. It would appear the house belongs to both of them so she can't kick him out or anything. If he wants to stay living there while he carries on with his new girlfriend then that's awful, but there isn't really anything OP can do about it.

I definitely agree you shouldn't have affairs and I think it's stupid and horrible that she has to live like this in the meantime. But he's no longer in a relationship with her even if they're still legally married, and he still co owns the marital home, so she can't place limits on who he sees or where he lives.

Bloody hope she's not doing any housework for him though!

Not always, but more likely that he's an a$$hole. My ex was a controlling narcissist so that hasn't changed. Best revenge is to the let the OW keep him

Well presumably they’ll need a financial settlement.

she has a child she’ll presumably be RP for.

the house may not have enough equity for them to sell and her to buy a property suitable for her and her son, in the same area, near schools etc. if she’s working PT or is a sahm she may not be able to get a mortgage. Plus agent fees, 2 sets of moving fees, stamp duty on top.

the financial settlement may prefer to see her and her son housed if selling and rebuying is not viable. So unless they’re financially well off- in which case why doesn’t she just buy him out rather than go to the expense of selling?

You can't enforce a boundary for another person. She doesn't have to respect it or you, sadly.
Is your son aware that you have split up? If not, you'd better tell him fast before he finds out himself and stops trusting you.
If he already knows, why do you feel you have to stop him knowing about his dad? You haven't done anything wrong, his dad has.

We are still living together as he won't leave until we divorce and sell the house.

They’ve been officially separated since February and won’t leave until the divorce is complete.

I assumed that OP is refusing from the way she said it.

I may be wrong and the divorce may be going through the process and the house on the market but from her tense is sounds as though this hasn’t happened yet.

My point remains the same though.
Whether they have started divorce proceedings or not, they are officially separated and both of them are free to start relationships with other people.

That sounds horrific....sorry to read that💐...but you are well shot of this cruel ex.

I have a solicitor and things are on the move. Unfortunately finances take a while and he's refused to move out until things are sorted. I asked him to go when I found out but he said their relationship isn't like that, and he said he needs to live somewhere.

She's a writer with her own website. It's hard to separate emotions when shes posting about how kind he is and he lied to me for over a year. He acts like nothing has changed apart from the separate rooms and no affection. He'll happily chat, show me new clothes he's brought and ask my opinion on things. He acts like I'm his best mate.

I think the best thing you can do is not look at her website. Sounds a very tough situation.

I think that’s sometimes true, but definitely not always. Some people have a real fundamental character issue around infidelity that never goes away, while others just make a mistake when they’re immature. Some are really unhappy in a particular relationship (perhaps because of their partner) and cheat as an exception and not a rule. I also think some people with a tendency to want to cheat may retain that tendency but keep themselves in check in their next serious relationship because they realise the damage it did the last time wasn’t worth it - i.e. they grow up just enough to reign themselves in. There are all sorts of people out there and the idea of ‘once a cheat, always a cheat’ is reductive and inaccurate.

Well, this kind of shite is where you really can enact boundaries, OP. You don't need to engage in small talk or give him fashion advice.

Surely you need to tell your son what's going on?

She's irrelevant. The problem is him. You've ended this relationship months ago: living under the same roof all this time afterward must be intolerable.

If your son sees OW's silly, demonstrative SM posts, so be it. You can't control that and in the fulness of time he will draw his own conclusions. But you can't be expected to continue living indefinitely like this.

Your priority here needs to be legal advice, finding out what your rights are and sorting out an arrangement for living under separate roofs as a matter of urgency.

He's disgusting, OP. I'm sorry you're going through this. The part about her 'needing' to write publicly about her love life is total nonsense, regardless of her career as an author.

Well then next time he does that share a photo of him saying, "So lucky to have married my best friend".

I’m a firm believer that when a man marries his mistress, it creates an opening.

Ive never seen it play out any other way. People that post shit about their private lives need the external validation. She’s got to convince herself (and others that he’s kind etc) because he’s shown himself to be a man of zero integrity and honesty. People that cheat don’t do it because they’ve found someone better, they cheat because they’re arseholes.

Shes got no prize there.

In which case I would definitely be commenting on her website. I wouldn’t be able to stop myself. I think he has gotten himself in too deep here with someone he wasn’t sure of and she knows it and so does he. Tough. Time for him to do one. He can’t have it both ways.

Don’t look on her website. You are torturing yourself for no good reason. You don’t have the right to control what she does.

Don't look at her website - why would you even do that? You're torturing yourself, you really are. And don't let him chat to you like you're his best mate - you're not, you're someone who was treated badly. By all means you can be civil in front of your son, but don't let him show you new clothes, that's mad. You talk about boundaries over online behaviour but you don't appear to have set up any for real life and that's where it really matters.

If she does that she will look like an embittered twat.