There We Are Then - part 5. Dickswinging with a cocktail sausage continues 🤣

[mummy917]

Follow on from the last thread xx

@bigboykitty you are a wordsmith of the highest calibre and I salute you 🤣

Hope your night shifts go smoothly and you have a lovely time out!

I agree you shouldn't have to police yourself in your own home, you're entitled to spend your child-free time as you wish just like he does!

Thanks for the new thread @mummy917 . Love the title!!!

The title of this thread is hilarious!!

@mummy917 I love that you've made soup to take in for you and your colleagues to eat on the next two night shifts... That is so caring and generous xxx

What a fab thread title! Still supporting from the sidelines. Hope your night shifts are kind to you :)

The tail end of your last thread and the title of this one has lifted my spirits!
It is nothing to do with him how you now live your life. Let him watch and weep at the way you have picked yourself up and got on with things since he left.

I knew it would be you from the title. I see you are starting to find your anger, go you! 💪

Same! Loving the title. 💪

Fantastic title! Pleased you’re doing so well. It’s pathetic that TWAT has to resort to quizzing a child. Not a nice trait.

You are doing so well @mummy917. It’s not nice he’s questioning your son, however it just shows you how controlling he actually is. Also I hope it gives you some small satisfaction how wound up he is by what you are getting up to still 😂. The fact he actually put it in a text is hilarious, first he tries to call you about it and then when you don’t answer he text you about it. The fact he would have read that text back to himself before he sent it and still his curiosity won out and he sent it anyway when surely even he can see it’s none of his damn business is hilarious.

I agree that you shouldn’t have to police yourself either texts rather than calls.

However temporarily it may just save the oldest getting grilled, because let’s face it ex probably is doing a lot of leading questions to the oldest to get info. And then he can’t possibly try to ruin @mummy917 plans either.

If he realises he isn’t getting any info he may stop.

I wouldn’t be making plans by text. I’d be making (fake if necessary) plans with the kids in earshot, including a sprinkling of key words like cocktails, champagne, hot tub, Tiffany’s, Porsche, Mercedes, footballers, consultants, Paris, first class, backpacking inked, well endowed, experimenting, bisexual, tantric. Or whatever. You will know the ones to pique his interest. Only a sprinkling though, don’t want to over egg it!

But isn't it easier for the kids if they just don't know anything when they are asked?

Tbh it’s all fine and well having a laugh, but I really wouldn’t play any games with fake stories.

But I also wouldn’t be policing myself in my own home either.

This is your life @mummy917 i think you’re doing the right thing by not replying to him.
He can think what he likes. Remember - thoughts and opinions are NOT facts. You know you’re doing the right things. You’re allowed to have fun. You’re allowed to do whatever you need to, to move on and give your kids a good life. Which you are doing.

Well, if Mummy917 has to police her speech in case Twatoo is going to get the wrong end of the stick, that seems equally bizarre. She could just be talking about something she saw on the telly! Or something that happened at work. My child’s nursery teacher once got very confused because my 3 year old told them we went to visit lots of dead people, we had walked around a country churchyard, looking at the inscriptions. I’m just suggesting she has a bit of fun with it. Twatoo will be a twat whatever Mummy does. And it may emerge that he is questioning the children too much and this could help put a stop to it.

I also think she should have a bit of fun with it, but in a slightly different way, I'd probably talk about some really ridiculous things, idk like there's a giraffe at work that you are looking after who's poorly and you are making him all better, or you are going pineapple skiing. Like really random stuff, so if twatoo does any grilling he'll get a mixture of nonsense mixed in with the truth and he won't know which way is up. He'd also sound really ridiculous asking you about it.

I’m just going to continue with the no response approach. It’s easier all round, and going forward when I have the kids, I’ll be much more mindful during phone calls with my friends. It really breaks my heart that our son is potentially being asked questions every week. Equally though, I would never go down to that level and ask him if his dad is asking him questions about me. If he is, I’ll wait for my son to tell me in his own way which he will at some point, if that’s what’s happening.

That could end up with "Mummy is going skiing with a giraffe" !!!

Definitely the best plan, Mummy917.

@mummy917

I’m just going to continue with the no response approach.

I agree. You just have to go with the assumption that he is pumping DS for info about you. Very sad of course, but there's really not much you can do about it without putting DS in the middle. As it is he's blissfully unaware of the situation and it's best for DS that he stay that way.

I will say that I probably wouldn't be above saying something 'outrageous', but not to DS directly, just to a friend or on the phone to someone when he's in earshot. Something along the lines of planning to go to Tahiti or 'visiting the dealership' (ie new car). Just to see if it 'gets back' to Twattoo and if he says anything. If DS overhears and happens to ask you about them you can tell him the truth; you were 'just being silly'.

I’m in agreement with @LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand. You’re doing so well @mummy917.

Links to 1 , 2 ....etc

The twat with a cocktail sausage is outraged his ex might be enjoying the single life more than he is 😂