The Dating Thread 63 Crisp air & Warm ♥️🧡💛

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

I'm trying at figure that out. At the moment, no. Been on my own for too long and done too much work to not be valued!

Pros and cons list maybe?

Sending lots of love 😘😘😘

The devil in me, says go and meet him off the plane. Just to see the look on his face.

You really don't deserve this and I think he's a total scumbag.

There are no excuses whatsoever for his behaviour.

Thanks for the new thread @Nosdacariad!

@MsJinks I’m just catching up and I cannot believe what I’m reading. What a shitbag he is. Just remember there is no pressure to decide immediately on what to do. Take your time to figure out what you want to do about it.

@CleanShirtAlso so sorry to hear how things are going for you 💐 Hoping you are ok!

Caught up with Mr Nomad yesterday morning for a coffee (previous situationship who I ended things with a few months ago). He was back in my city for work, he was angling to stay with me initially only I made it clear that I was not up for a FWB type of situation again. He said he was disappointed but understood, so yesterday we had a friendly but non romantic catch up.

It’s my birthday tomorrow, I’m not expecting Mr Charismatic to do anything given we are not technically in a relationship but I must admit I am kind of curious to see how he deals with it! His was back in June and he said he didn’t want to celebrate, although I did organise wine and cake for him at least.

Random - but I think someone, maybe @Nosdacariadsaid they’d seen a profile saying they were the prize? Well my daughter linked me a fb profile of a local crim, totally revolting at that, where we used to live that actually has on the top of the page ‘if you’re lucky enough to date me don’t forget I’m the prize’ - he’s taken 10 years off his age too. My daughter was horrified but I was wondering if he’s on some OLD and been seen on here lol.

Anyway my view is ‘I’m the prize’ on a profile is a massive red flag!

@BoxOfCats hoping he does something cool x

@MsJinks "I'm the prize" is something Burned Haystack identifies as problematic.

Saying things like

"Apply within" or

"Bonus points if"

Or anything else implying you'd be lucky to go out with them.

So yes definitely 🚩🚩🚩

After much wine last night I ordered a birthday card for planes (I know!)

Should I send it?

No!!

Oh lovely, no don’t send it. It will give him a sense of satisfaction and it won’t make you feel any better.

This shows how beautiful a person you are, it really does, thinking of other people. But this person hurt you and doesn’t deserve your kindness.

Im sure I speak for many of us here when I say that we understand how hurt you’re feeling and that you still care for him and also possibly love him too. But this man is not good for you and you must cut the cord

@Nosdacariad Very thoughtful of you, but no! It will send the wrong message.

It feels like a basic. To care about someone especially when they’re upset.

It feels like a basic. To care about someone especially when they’re upset.

Interesting reading about the disclosure of ED. qn when should I disclose my own health conditions? It’s a proper life changing diagnosis. With reduction in lifespan potentially. I’ve told one as im
not too bothered about him.

I’m sat outside my house I can’t face going into an empty house

@Reginablitzing I think this is different. How have you navigated this before, if it has been necessary?

It's a lot to deal with 💐 I hope home was ok when you got in xxx

Been awake since 4 (needed to be up at 5 for work anyway!) and have messaged him.

Told him I get he's away but it's weird to basically not hear from someone, especially after they've let on they're having a shit time.

ohh - so sorry this is going this way as whether he is a dick or careless how you are feeling is rubbish 💐

My advice, or thoughts, are mostly based on my experience so today’s is different to last week as I’ve had a new experience now. It doesn’t mean it’s better or worse.

I never got to the point with Terrible Tree that we’d contact in times of stress - odd thing but not much - I guess this was sort of managed by him in a way. The texting suited me being minimal but had a weird ‘awkward’ around the edges - like after 4 months it was still the 2nd or 3rd week. Whilst in person it was phenomenal and I’d be reset to ok. I got used to it, he did always seem to mean what he said as in when we’d see each other - enough interest. I thought some was me despite never having anxiety around anything else - in this case it wasn’t was it. So I’d be aware there may be pieces of a puzzle that might explain this that you can’t see yet - I don’t mean necessarily others, or that he doesn’t care though - we don’t know yet.

Some folk are terrible at texting and it’s that simple.

However, I have to agree this is pretty harsh of him, when you’re upset, and you deserve much much better.

Not sure if working is better for distraction or tough as you’re finding it hard to concentrate- I felt a mix of both other day. Either way it’s hard if you’re tired - do something lovely for yourself after - we are all thinking of you xx

Ahh - you’re such a lovely person - but Noooo - please don’t.

Gonna be referencing Terrible Tree a lot for a bit lol - he stays friends it’s exes - as he’s pretty apparently ‘lovely’ to everyone and very personable - it’s not real this bit - you’re staying friends with an ego driven shape shifter and get to be part of a harem!

Mr Player collected friends / I’m on his daughter’s fb and made me laugh how many of his exes were on there - he didn’t have fb (wise move really!) - he definitely liked a ‘harem’ - occasionally as a back up option I think (happened with me!) but a lot just to validate himself - he genuinely thought all his exes still felt they’d missed him as the prize - I’ve heard him say more or less this.

You are not Crashes validator- you are worth so much more.

I do get your motivation- and you are such a lovely lady it’s just natural for you to do this. I also get how you get to thinking of and missing them - but sadly it’s not real. You will get past him, it’s just rubbish it takes so long 💐xx