Husband blocked me after he dumped me. What to do from here

[Annabel20]

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My husband left me out of the blue (we have 2 DD’s). He says he still loves me but he wants to forget me and move on. He has also said he wants to start dating but he doesn’t have anyone yet although he’s open to finding someone and remarrying and having more children. He then blocked me on WhatsApp so I can’t even call him about the children. I’m heartbroken I can’t stop crying. How can he say he loves me then block me and say he wants to move on. Surely if he loved me he wouldn’t be looking to be with anyone else? Also how can he block me when we have children. Please advise I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. How can he be so cruel. How do men do this I don’t understand how can he think he can just dump his family like we’re nothing and go start again. I’m a young mum by the way and I have no support at all 😭

I am so sorry he has done this to you.

You have had a horrible shock and you need to really look after yourself now. Really focus on looking after your physical needs. Drink sips of water, stay hydrated. Eat food. Anything.

Given what he has said, my very strong advice is go to the child maintenance support site and complete it, get collection straight away. You’ll get 5% less but it means he can’t dodge it. This will mean you have some guaranteed money coming in from him early on. There is a calculator that will tell you what he should be paying.

But other than that one practical step, just look after yourself and get the most support you can in real life. It’s going to be a tough time - a tough year at least, but you are young and you’ll be ok. You might even look back and be glad he has shown you his true colours now, whilst you are young.

Sending you lots of love and strength.

The money from the sale of the house is in Switzerland. He plans to move to Dubai though as he has a company there and already has a golden visa so he already has several bank accounts there

@Annabel20 im so sorry. Sadly I know someone who had exactly this happen to her 20 years ago. Her now ex moved to the far east, took all the joint money. She was never able to recover any money or get maintenance. I wish I could be more positive but if he goes abroad it’ll be difficult.

He never physically saw the kids again until they were adults. I think he used to send the odd email.

Ask a solicitor if you can get some sort of emergency court order to freeze all accounts so he cant run off with all the money

Yes, this is shit. Had similar, he hadnt met someone else, more a mental type breakdown"wanting to be 'free' 🤮. Messed around with my head with the i still love you which distracts you from sorting real stuff out. Go to GP for support with your own mental health , collect and copy any of his financial paperwork/admin/ house expenses you still have access to Apply for maintenance/ child support. Get a solicitor Claim any benefits, sort out any shared bank accounts
Tell truth to all friends and family...Enjoy your kids, keep them 'safe'
Honestly... you will be stronger and so much better off in the end.
PS as others said,whether he is having an affair is irrelevant at this stage.
The man's a twat and in cloud cuckoo land or a calculating bastard
You got this
Sending love

Empty the joint bank accounts now before he does. Put the whys to one side. You need to focus on the here and now. He is not your friend. Do you want his version of love? No you do not. Protect what you are entitled to.

OP, you need immediate legal advice. In usual circumstances, even if a property is in one person's name only, if they are married and subsequently divorce, the spouse is entitled to a proportion of the house sale. Your husband has used his business to purchase the house, and that could make a difference, I don't know, and no one on MN can answer that for you.

Get hold of your children's passports, birth certificates ASAP

It doesn’t matter if he was or wasn’t. He has treated you awfully regardless. You deserve better. Focus on healing and parenting.

Calculating bastard

Yes I did but it’s even more complicated as it was registered in the name of an offshore company abroad in bearer shares. I had no idea about any of this until he decided to sell the house.

Sounds like he’s already very wealthy but he still took your money (not that it would be okay otherwise either). He sounds like an incredibly awful man. Honestly, OP - you’re so much better off without a man who can do this. No wonder he’s depressed: i would be depressed if i were such a prize shit also.

Yes thanks I have them all with me 🙏🏻

“Yes I did but it’s even more complicated as it was registered in the name of an offshore company abroad in bearer shares. I had no idea about any of this until he decided to sell the house.”

Please speak urgently to a lawyer who is qualified in this area. This guy sold your shared home and pocketed the money for his own use so he’s obviously in control of the company.

We didn’t have joint UK accounts and he has already moved all his assets abroad unfortunately

Without being outing can you say what he does?

Is this a lot of money? I.e £100k plus?

I'll send you a DM but as he's established there I might not be of any help in Dubai.

Ive only just seen this. Legal advice immediately. I mean now. I know you need to process it all emotionally but it seems very likely he’s going to steal the money or try to. Get a legal consultation now and if your dad is decent then tell him and I’m sure he’ll pay for it.

Thank you yes I will start divorce proceedings today hopefully. It’s an incredibly complicated situation unfortunately I’m dealing with a smart psychopath

File for CMS immediately

Disgusting man

I'm so sorry

He sounds very dodgy and setting up offshore accounts being British and no UK accounts while living in the UK might indicate that he has another family and possibly committing fraud so the police might be interested in him. Just a thought. Good luck OP I know it’s easy for me to say but don’t let him get away with this.

Tell your father - you have nothing to feel humiliated about. Your soon to be ex should but he won’t.

And don’t be too proud to accept financial help, if offered. Maybe your dad could pay for a good forensic accountant and shit hot solicitor.

Tell his parents what he has done, including that he has taken all the money leaving you nothing for your daughters (their grandchildren). It probably won’t make any difference as he feels no shame at all, but it gets your version out there and they might be a source of support.

Yes thank you I plan on doing exactly that today. I spent yesterday crying and in shock but today I understand everything more clearly

@Annabel20 - not just a lawyer for divorce proceedings but about the possibility of getting him arrested for theft. That might prompt him to return the money from the house sale. How do his parents seem as people? This is their son who’s behaving so appallingly. Might they be able to bring about a return of the money or do you think he takes after them?

Tell your father and contact his parents. Do not get emotional but explain clearly how their son has left you and the children. Be clear that you will be seeking legal advice and support. They may feel ashamed enough to support you and have a conversation with their a’hole of a son.

Be brave and resolute @Annabel20 you need to hold it all together for your little girls!

He’s a property developer, yes it’s in the millions. Thank you 🙏🏻