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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband blocked me after he dumped me. What to do from here

358 replies

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 07:57

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My husband left me out of the blue (we have 2 DD’s). He says he still loves me but he wants to forget me and move on. He has also said he wants to start dating but he doesn’t have anyone yet although he’s open to finding someone and remarrying and having more children. He then blocked me on WhatsApp so I can’t even call him about the children. I’m heartbroken I can’t stop crying. How can he say he loves me then block me and say he wants to move on. Surely if he loved me he wouldn’t be looking to be with anyone else? Also how can he block me when we have children. Please advise I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. How can he be so cruel. How do men do this I don’t understand how can he think he can just dump his family like we’re nothing and go start again. I’m a young mum by the way and I have no support at all 😭

OP posts:
Surgz · 27/08/2026 09:22

Oh christ, i posted a reply not reading all this information.
He has targeted and tricked you ( stolen from you) using every trick in the book. This is so premeditated .. House in his company name?? Is he moving his company to Dubai or will he be claiming ' bancruptcy/ failed business so he has nothing to be collected for you and children.
Such a shit situation but we women survive this bollocks. I wish you and your children a very happy future without this utter piece of shit

ChristophersRobins · 27/08/2026 09:23

If he moved it before splitting up, would it count as financial abuse? It bloody should do.

If there was any chance it could be, I'd be trying to get him a police record...

Talk to your dad. Get yourself a solicitor. Even if you don't get what you deserve, he deserves a difficult divorce and to be dragged through the mud. Make sure everyone knows what a cunt he is.

Greyhound98 · 27/08/2026 09:24

What a vile man.

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 09:26

Dery · 27/08/2026 09:20

@Annabel20 - not just a lawyer for divorce proceedings but about the possibility of getting him arrested for theft. That might prompt him to return the money from the house sale. How do his parents seem as people? This is their son who’s behaving so appallingly. Might they be able to bring about a return of the money or do you think he takes after them?

I spoke to his sister yesterday and asked her to talk to his parents. She was very sorry and both her and her parents want him to stay with me and are shocked at his behavior but I don’t think he plans on listening to anyone. She had said she’s reluctant to tell his parents straight away as he mother had heart surgery a few months ago and his father has high blood pressure and she’s worried they won’t take the news well. She had promised to talk to him in person yesterday herself & call me back but she hasn’t yet. I do know that she didn’t visit him yesterday though as he was on the phone with me all night until he blocked me before going to sleep

OP posts:
StandingDeskDisco · 27/08/2026 09:28

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 09:14

Thank you yes I will start divorce proceedings today hopefully. It’s an incredibly complicated situation unfortunately I’m dealing with a smart psychopath

It seems to me that you have two choices here

  1. Fight all the way. Get injunctions, forensic accountants, the lot. It will be a long hard slog, masses of stress, for potentially very little return, plus the whole issue will mean he is taking up your headspace, being 'in your life' mentally and emotionally even if he is gone physically.
  2. Cut your losses now. The money is gone. Put in a claim for Universal Credit as a single parent, and re-build your life from ground zero, without him in it. He no longer exists for you.

Personally I would go for option two. Yes it is unjust. Yes it is 'not fair'. But your mental health is more important than what is 'fair', and you need to focus on the children, your own wellbeing, and re-building your life.

Potatoespotaarrrrtos · 27/08/2026 09:28

This is much more serious than ‘he just left you’ he has stolen huge sums of money that you and your girls are entitled to. His parents medical issues are irrelevant. Don’t go through his useless sister, contact them directly. This is their grandchildren.

Retro12 · 27/08/2026 09:32

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:17

Does anyone know how I can find out if he’s with someone else so I can prove he was cheating? He has insisted he hasn’t yet but he wants to start meeting people. He would just go to work and come home there was literally no signs of anyone else, I even looked on his phone once and nothing. He is severely depressed though and he said he wants to do this so I don’t take him back

You don't need to prove that he is cheating, it makes no difference in a divorce now. He has proven that he is an absolute selfish shit! Keep your head up high and get your financials in order. Unfortunately, he cannot pass the buck of financial burden onto your father of his children. Don't let him call the shots, you've got this xxx

Greebocat · 27/08/2026 09:34

I’m sorry you are going through this, it must be so hard. You have just said he is severely depressed, he obviously is not thinking straight, he needs help. Does his family know he is depressed?

GrandmasCat · 27/08/2026 09:35

Op, there is no point, really to try to find how he is acting like that, you are not going to get any real answer and trying to understand the whys will hurt you more (far more) than see the things as what they are:

He is gone, you are not coming back from this (you would never trust him again) so try to get your sense of control back by starting putting the new blocks to support yourself and your kids:

  • Tell close friends, you need support
  • Check entitledto.co.uk to find if you qualify for financial support
  • Ensure you change passwords of any accounts you have, if you have joint accounts, seek advice on whether it is a good idea to close them (CAB can help with this)
  • Find his NIN, that’s the basic piece of info you really need to claim child maintenance if he is employed, they can find info through it without you needed to provide payslips. Then contact the Child Maintenance Service to set it up. They have calculators in their website, it will be far less than you imagine but that’s why benefits are into place
  • if you are not working find a job asap, if you are working part time increase to 16+ hours to be able to get more financial support. Contact your job centre asap if applicable.
  • set up the house as you always wanted it, that would help you see it as your house and that of your children.
  • Ensure you eat even if you don’t feel like it
  • Give yourself 6 months for the shock to pass and mourn your old routines. Once you get used to the new ones it will be as if the sun has come out.

Best of luck!

CalmGreenWasp · 27/08/2026 09:36

Dery · 27/08/2026 09:05

“He had it registered in his company name. I was very naive I know I was young when I married him and fully trusted him so I never insisted on having my name on anything”

Did you contribute financially to the house purchase? Can you show the evidence for that? If so, then there are likely legal arguments you can make that you are entitled to a return of the money you contributed. After all, why would gift money to his company? I’m a lawyer but not in this area but I think there may be arguments that there is an implied/constructive trust in relation to any money you put towards the purchase.

Solicitor here too, yes, there is a case for asserting a constructive trust exists, but this will be difficult given the Company is registered owner. OP, did you contribute to purchase price? Can you evidence payment for improvements? Did you pay towards company loan/mortgage? Can this be evidenced? Was your ex sole director of company?

fashionqueen0123 · 27/08/2026 09:36

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:30

Thanks everyone. We’re currently renting and he has left me to pay the rent. We recently sold our house (it was a large amount) and I have now found out he has put the money from that in an account abroad. He had told me we would be repurchasing a house but that turned out to be a lie. I have a feeling he’s planning to move abroad and he has made it clear he won’t be helping at all financially. I do work and I have some savings and as he rudely said I’ll be fine because I can always go to my father if I need help according to him 🤦🏼‍♀️ I have only spoken to my mother about this at the moment as my father lives abroad and she is as shocked as I am. He’s 5 years older than I am but mature enough to know better

Oh my god.

Are you married? I would see a solicitor asap about this and if you think he’s stolen your money call the police.

Mapletree1985 · 27/08/2026 09:36

Everyone is advising you to get a solicitor or forensic accountant, and while you should look into that, you also need to accept that you are 100% on your own from now on. Trying to get that money back may end up costing you as much as it is worth, and will eat into your precious time and peace of mind. So while you should certainly try, you shouldn't bank on it and it should't be your main focus. Your main focus should be on how you move forward standing on your own two feet.

If you can't afford the rent you will need to move somewhere smaller, fast.

You will need to try to find a better paid job.

You married young, to a man with a lot of money who is canny about managing it. You may never have needed to stand on your own two feet before. You need to start now. Obviously if your dad wants to help, you should take advantage of that, but going forward, you want to get yourself into position where you never need to rely on a man ever again. That should be your main goal.

GrandmasCat · 27/08/2026 09:37

… and yes, no need to prove anyone that he is cheating, there is no financial or divorce benefit coming from it as long as you know he is cheating… it is just information to help you move on faster.

fashionqueen0123 · 27/08/2026 09:39

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 09:09

Yes I did but it’s even more complicated as it was registered in the name of an offshore company abroad in bearer shares. I had no idea about any of this until he decided to sell the house.

But did you buy the house together? You would have signed all the land registry paperwork.

TheSquareMile · 27/08/2026 09:43

Get in touch with a suitable solicitor today, OP.

https://solicitors.lawsociety.org.uk/

MajorProcrastination · 27/08/2026 09:45

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:09

Thank you 🙏🏻 They’re 6 and 8. I called his sister yesterday and explained. She had promised to speak to him and get back to me but she didn’t. He has said he won’t be supporting the kids financially as he has to deal with himself and get a new place for himself. He has told me to ask my father for help if I need it as I’m an only child and my father is wealthy. Yesterday morning he sent me a text saying he loves me and wants to work it out and by afternoon this is what he does.

He's not going to be "supporting the kids financially" WTAF?! That's not something he's allowed to simply opt out of. Regardless of how much money your Dad has, your shared children with your husband are also your husband's responsibility, he can't just decide not to do that.

Ex refusing to pay child maintenance? Your Legal Options Explained

Keep a record of all of his messages.

Have you spoken to your father yet?

As school starts back soon, I'd also recommend that you speak with someone at the primary school. At our school, this would be really useful information and context to have for your daughters, it will be useful for staff who work with them to know what they're going through at home, it might be that there is extra nurture provision and support that they can have while at school duirng this difficult time. At our school we'd also be able to support you as the parent, to signpost you to some free local councilling and so on.

This is a really shitty thing for him to do to you, regardless of his reasons.

Ex refusing to pay child maintenance? Your Legal Options Explained

Ex refusing to pay child maintenance? Learn what you can do, your legal rights, and how payments can be enforced.

https://expertfamilylaw.co.uk/ex-refusing-to-pay-child-maintenance/

Greebocat · 27/08/2026 09:46

Greebocat · 27/08/2026 09:34

I’m sorry you are going through this, it must be so hard. You have just said he is severely depressed, he obviously is not thinking straight, he needs help. Does his family know he is depressed?

Sorry posted before I had read all updates about him moving all assets. Seems more calculating than depressed.

toiletpaperthief · 27/08/2026 09:49

The level of assholery and irresponsibility of men in general is quite shocking. He abandons his children, he abandons you but he's cruel enough to let you know he wants to find someone else and have more children (so he can abandon them too?).

He sounds like a sociopath.

DontGoChasinWaterfalls · 27/08/2026 09:50

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. But the most important thing right now is to stop trying to make sense of his contradictory words and start dealing with what he is actually doing.
He may genuinely still have feelings for you, but saying “I love you” while also saying he wants to move on, date other people and possibly remarry tells you that he is currently choosing to end the relationship. Trying to work out how he can love you and still do that will keep you trapped in a loop. People can still care about someone and nevertheless decide they don’t want to continue the relationship.
The WhatsApp blocking is different because you have children together. He is entitled to create boundaries around personal conversations, but you both still need a reliable way to communicate about your daughters. I would stop contacting him about the relationship and send one calm message by whatever other method is available—text, email, etc.—saying that you accept he wants space, but you need an agreed channel for essential communication concerning the children.
For the next few days, focus on practicalities rather than the future he is talking about. You do not need to process him potentially remarrying or having more children when the separation has only just happened. Those are hypothetical future events and thinking about them now will only cause you more pain. Deal with today: where the children are staying, finances, bills, childcare, contact arrangements, access to the home, and how you will communicate.
Also, don't beg, repeatedly call him, monitor whether he is dating, or try to persuade him that he still loves you. Not because you shouldn't care, but because right now it gives him control of your emotional state and usually makes the person who has left withdraw further. Give him the separation he says he wants while protecting your own and your daughters’ position.
And please get some support around you even if you feel you have nobody. Tell your GP how badly you are struggling, particularly if you're barely sleeping, eating, functioning or caring for yourself. You can also contact family support organisations or your local council/children’s services for practical support as a newly single parent. If money is going to become an issue, check Universal Credit, Child Benefit, Council Tax Reduction and child maintenance rather than waiting to see what your husband decides to contribute.
Most importantly: you do not have to solve your entire life this week. At the moment you're in shock. His decision does not mean you and your daughters have been discarded or that the family you have had meant nothing. But for now I would take his decision seriously, stop discussing reconciliation with him, establish child-focused communication, and start quietly securing the practical side of life for yourself and the girls.
If by “on the verge of a nervous breakdown” you mean you feel you might harm yourself, cannot keep yourself or the children safe, or feel completely unable to cope, please contact someone immediately — in the UK you can call NHS 111 and select the mental-health option, call Samaritans on 116 123, or call 999/go to A&E if you are in immediate danger.

PeopleWatching17 · 27/08/2026 09:50

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:30

Thanks everyone. We’re currently renting and he has left me to pay the rent. We recently sold our house (it was a large amount) and I have now found out he has put the money from that in an account abroad. He had told me we would be repurchasing a house but that turned out to be a lie. I have a feeling he’s planning to move abroad and he has made it clear he won’t be helping at all financially. I do work and I have some savings and as he rudely said I’ll be fine because I can always go to my father if I need help according to him 🤦🏼‍♀️ I have only spoken to my mother about this at the moment as my father lives abroad and she is as shocked as I am. He’s 5 years older than I am but mature enough to know better

Solicitor. Today. So sorry this has happened, but you need to engage immediately.

MageKing · 27/08/2026 09:52

You need a very good lawyer
Did you put up any of the money when you bought the house? Or your father?

This sounds like a man who has either actively planned to run wjth all the money. Or one who has got into huge money problems andnis going to run with whatever he can from your joint finances.
Im sorry op. You have been naive but that doesn't mean you deserve this.

PaperMachePanda · 27/08/2026 09:52

He says he doesn’t want the kids. Great.

However, please for the love of god if they have passports but a block on them leaving the country.

StandFirm · 27/08/2026 09:52

StandingDeskDisco · 27/08/2026 09:28

It seems to me that you have two choices here

  1. Fight all the way. Get injunctions, forensic accountants, the lot. It will be a long hard slog, masses of stress, for potentially very little return, plus the whole issue will mean he is taking up your headspace, being 'in your life' mentally and emotionally even if he is gone physically.
  2. Cut your losses now. The money is gone. Put in a claim for Universal Credit as a single parent, and re-build your life from ground zero, without him in it. He no longer exists for you.

Personally I would go for option two. Yes it is unjust. Yes it is 'not fair'. But your mental health is more important than what is 'fair', and you need to focus on the children, your own wellbeing, and re-building your life.

I disagree. OP will need her money and she should do what she can now to get it back. If it's unsuccessful, then yes, she'll have to move on and rebuild from zero - but she sure as hell shouldn't make it easy for him.

YourWildAmberSloth · 27/08/2026 09:53

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 09:26

I spoke to his sister yesterday and asked her to talk to his parents. She was very sorry and both her and her parents want him to stay with me and are shocked at his behavior but I don’t think he plans on listening to anyone. She had said she’s reluctant to tell his parents straight away as he mother had heart surgery a few months ago and his father has high blood pressure and she’s worried they won’t take the news well. She had promised to talk to him in person yesterday herself & call me back but she hasn’t yet. I do know that she didn’t visit him yesterday though as he was on the phone with me all night until he blocked me before going to sleep

Why on earth were you on the phone with him all night? He's treating you and your children like crap, you really shouldn't be giving him access to you in that way. Discuss kids and finance, but that should be it. He is still using and manipulating you. You stay talking to him, shows he can still get to you or that he has you exactly where he wants you, then blocks you when he's satisfied that he's done enough. I get that you still love him but he doesn't even like you - you need to wake up. Tell everyone what has happened - including his parents, honestly his mum will live. You have to stop protecting him.

avonleabonbon · 27/08/2026 09:56

Talk to your dad. Go to his house and get him on the case. If he’s wealthy, he’ll hopefully have good solicitors etc that will work fast and well for him. Repaying him comes later. If your parents are kind, decent and love you, they’ll take over and help you do much right now. (I know mine would.)
As you say, a smart psychopath, so get help to fight him. And don’t warn him or his family in and way!

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