Help protect children from gaming harms.

Take our survey

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband blocked me after he dumped me. What to do from here

358 replies

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 07:57

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My husband left me out of the blue (we have 2 DD’s). He says he still loves me but he wants to forget me and move on. He has also said he wants to start dating but he doesn’t have anyone yet although he’s open to finding someone and remarrying and having more children. He then blocked me on WhatsApp so I can’t even call him about the children. I’m heartbroken I can’t stop crying. How can he say he loves me then block me and say he wants to move on. Surely if he loved me he wouldn’t be looking to be with anyone else? Also how can he block me when we have children. Please advise I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. How can he be so cruel. How do men do this I don’t understand how can he think he can just dump his family like we’re nothing and go start again. I’m a young mum by the way and I have no support at all 😭

OP posts:
Parcelpass · 27/08/2026 08:23

How cruel. Don't focus on finding anything. Hes been incredibly nasty by telling you he wants to date and find someone else who says that at this stage??

Do you work OP? Can you manage to get DDs to school and yourself to work? Contact child maintenance, that will teach him not to even think about just going on to create more kids.

Sending big hugs.

arethereanyleftatall · 27/08/2026 08:23

Don’t get suckered in by the ‘I love you’ words op.
words are cheap.
actions matter.
nothing he is actually doing suggests he has any love for you whatsoever I’m sorry to say.

vincettenoir · 27/08/2026 08:24

All of this sounds very sad. He will be aware that child maintenance isn’t something he can just opt out of. It sounds like he’s having some kind of breakdown which is, in turn, having a terrible knock on effect on you. Lean on all the support you can so you can stay strong for your kids.

Autumnleaveandthegrass · 27/08/2026 08:25

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:17

Does anyone know how I can find out if he’s with someone else so I can prove he was cheating? He has insisted he hasn’t yet but he wants to start meeting people. He would just go to work and come home there was literally no signs of anyone else, I even looked on his phone once and nothing. He is severely depressed though and he said he wants to do this so I don’t take him back

Honestly, it doesn’t make a difference. This may sound harsh but he has left you and your relationship is over. At some point he will find someone new, probably soon and you will deal will it.

For now, you need to find your inner tiger Mum and protect the kids. That means looking at finances. Remove money from joint accounts. Book an appointment with a solicitor and put in a child maintenance claim. Look to see if you’re entitled to any benefits.

Feelfreee · 27/08/2026 08:27

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:09

Thank you 🙏🏻 They’re 6 and 8. I called his sister yesterday and explained. She had promised to speak to him and get back to me but she didn’t. He has said he won’t be supporting the kids financially as he has to deal with himself and get a new place for himself. He has told me to ask my father for help if I need it as I’m an only child and my father is wealthy. Yesterday morning he sent me a text saying he loves me and wants to work it out and by afternoon this is what he does.

File for CMS today!! Also call around for solicitors today. Tell your family and his parents everything.

fashionqueen0123 · 27/08/2026 08:27

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:09

Thank you 🙏🏻 They’re 6 and 8. I called his sister yesterday and explained. She had promised to speak to him and get back to me but she didn’t. He has said he won’t be supporting the kids financially as he has to deal with himself and get a new place for himself. He has told me to ask my father for help if I need it as I’m an only child and my father is wealthy. Yesterday morning he sent me a text saying he loves me and wants to work it out and by afternoon this is what he does.

No no. Go through the CMS as soon as you can. I’d apply today unless you need an address for him. Have you got his NI number?
Dont wait about.

Who owns/name is on the house? Tell the council he’s moved out so you have 25% discount on council tax.

Apply for universal credit if you don’t get it already/you will now he’s gone, or amend the claim.

RoseField1 · 27/08/2026 08:29

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:17

Does anyone know how I can find out if he’s with someone else so I can prove he was cheating? He has insisted he hasn’t yet but he wants to start meeting people. He would just go to work and come home there was literally no signs of anyone else, I even looked on his phone once and nothing. He is severely depressed though and he said he wants to do this so I don’t take him back

You can't prove it, but it's highly highly likely given his behaviour.
What's your housing situation? Any chance he'll force his way back into the home if he can't find somewhere to live?
You need to make a CMS application urgently. He doesn't get to opt out of financially supporting his children. Do you work? Are you entitled to claim universal credit?

FlorenceLawrence · 27/08/2026 08:30

He can't just say he's not financially supporting you! You're married with young DC. He needs to financially support them.
He can block you etc, but you just go through CMS.
So many women on Mumsnet have been through the exact same thing - they dangle reconciliation in front of you, then hurt you yet again. He may have met another woman he's taken a fancy to at work - happens a lot. It's heartbreaking I know, but the only way forward for you is to hold your head high, and take care of yourself and your DC. And go through CMS.

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:30

Thanks everyone. We’re currently renting and he has left me to pay the rent. We recently sold our house (it was a large amount) and I have now found out he has put the money from that in an account abroad. He had told me we would be repurchasing a house but that turned out to be a lie. I have a feeling he’s planning to move abroad and he has made it clear he won’t be helping at all financially. I do work and I have some savings and as he rudely said I’ll be fine because I can always go to my father if I need help according to him 🤦🏼‍♀️ I have only spoken to my mother about this at the moment as my father lives abroad and she is as shocked as I am. He’s 5 years older than I am but mature enough to know better

OP posts:
Autumnleaveandthegrass · 27/08/2026 08:31

Sounds like he has been planning this for a while!

Purplecatshopaholic · 27/08/2026 08:31

Gall10 · 27/08/2026 08:23

He’s shagging someone else
See a solicitor ASAP
Dont diss him to the children…you’re the bigger person here
Pour yourself a wine/coffee/juice …you’re strong, you’ll get through this
Im sorry you’re in this situation…in the long run you may be better off without him.

This. Make sure he pays maintenance. It’s his job, not your father’s. Find your anger - he’s left his kids in the lurch and doesn’t give a shit, he’s a low life. I’m sorry you are going through this, but you’ll come out stronger and happier. He has shown you who he really is.

TheThingOnTheIce · 27/08/2026 08:32

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:09

Thank you 🙏🏻 They’re 6 and 8. I called his sister yesterday and explained. She had promised to speak to him and get back to me but she didn’t. He has said he won’t be supporting the kids financially as he has to deal with himself and get a new place for himself. He has told me to ask my father for help if I need it as I’m an only child and my father is wealthy. Yesterday morning he sent me a text saying he loves me and wants to work it out and by afternoon this is what he does.

Haha nope. Get your child maintenance claim in today op . Gently, who in the actual fuck does he think he is?

beaglescurleduplikebagels · 27/08/2026 08:32

He’s clearly had this planned for a while - what a spiteful, nasty little coward.

nutellaandbanana · 27/08/2026 08:34

Some men do this. I heard a woman speak on the radio whose husband just walked out one day and refused to speak to her again. She never found out why and she said there were no signs anything was wrong in the marriage.

Ignore posters speculating as to why he left. You don’t know why and neither do they. Hard as it is, you will be wasting precious energy agonizing over why he did this.

You need to be practical. As others said, apply through CMS. They are slow, so get on with this. Look into all the benefits you are entitled to and apply for these. Write down any details ypu know of his assets/ pensions etc. If you want to divorce ( if he has no assets and neither do you, you may decide this is not your priority. I know a woman whose H only served divorce papers several decades after they split).

You may be able to access free counselling through a charity, though chat gpt is surprisingly good for crisis support, I have found.

So sorry this shit of a man has done this to you and your daughters. Your priority is securing your financial and material future, supporting your girls through their dad leaving, and getting through it mentally yourself. Women before you have survived this, and so will you. Reframe yourself not as an ‘abandoned woman’ but as a woman who survives. You are in that long line of honourable history.

Dery · 27/08/2026 08:34

Oh, @Annabel20 - what a horrible shock for you. Honestly, he sounds like a complete arsehole. Becoming a father has a way of sorting the men from the boys. Sounds like your husband is still a boy. It also sounds like someone has been in his ear (probably the other woman) telling him that he doesn’t need to bother with his kids, he can just focus on himself (though why any woman would want a man who could do that, God knows).

You say you have no-one else to turn to. Would your family not provide emotional as well as financial support in this situation? Do you have any friends who can be a listening ear? Keep also posting here for support. It feels appalling right now but you will get through this. For now, focus on putting one foot in front of another and go gentle on yourself.

NancyThompson · 27/08/2026 08:35

Your husband is an absolute shit, as it's clear he's planning to completely abandon and walk away from his children.

TheThingOnTheIce · 27/08/2026 08:35

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:17

Does anyone know how I can find out if he’s with someone else so I can prove he was cheating? He has insisted he hasn’t yet but he wants to start meeting people. He would just go to work and come home there was literally no signs of anyone else, I even looked on his phone once and nothing. He is severely depressed though and he said he wants to do this so I don’t take him back

Why do you need to prove it? I’d be more worried about proving the financial facts and not letting him run off into the sunset with all your marital assets

sittingonabeach · 27/08/2026 08:36

You need to get legal advice as soon as possible to sort out money so he doesn’t hide the money abroad. Wouid your dad help fund legal/financial advice?

Assume you are legally married.

Rachelshair · 27/08/2026 08:36

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:17

Does anyone know how I can find out if he’s with someone else so I can prove he was cheating? He has insisted he hasn’t yet but he wants to start meeting people. He would just go to work and come home there was literally no signs of anyone else, I even looked on his phone once and nothing. He is severely depressed though and he said he wants to do this so I don’t take him back

Get a friend to follow him? Get a private detective? But why bother, he's walked out on you and that's bad enough! Seek out support from your parents if you can, and put a claim in for child maintenance. Do you have your own money, job etc? Do you need to let your mortage lender/ landlord know you'll struggle to pay?
Be kind to yourself, you're in shock. His family probably won't be on your side sadly so be wary there.
You're young so that's a massive advantage.

Firefly100 · 27/08/2026 08:37

Oh OP I get the human need to understand why but honestly the sooner you accept this and realise it doesn’t matter what he is doing with whom the better.
Let’s assume he still does ‘love’ you - would you honestly want him back after this? Even if it doesn’t work out for him with someone new he changes his mind. Could you trust him? Do you think that is the relationship you want to model for your young children? What is to stop him doing this again next time his head is turned? After all you have proven you will take him back after the worst behaviour.
You would honestly be better off accepting he is gone and focussing on the practicalities of what comes next. If his texts are not related to the children or financial support, ignore them - or block him back if they upset you.

OneWarmHazelQuail · 27/08/2026 08:37

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:17

Does anyone know how I can find out if he’s with someone else so I can prove he was cheating? He has insisted he hasn’t yet but he wants to start meeting people. He would just go to work and come home there was literally no signs of anyone else, I even looked on his phone once and nothing. He is severely depressed though and he said he wants to do this so I don’t take him back

As soon as I read your first post, I wondered about depression.

Can you ask someone to do a welfare check if behaviour is out of character? He could be having some kind of episode...

dippy567 · 27/08/2026 08:37

Could he be having some kind of breakdown?

FlorenceLawrence · 27/08/2026 08:39

Annabel20 · 27/08/2026 08:30

Thanks everyone. We’re currently renting and he has left me to pay the rent. We recently sold our house (it was a large amount) and I have now found out he has put the money from that in an account abroad. He had told me we would be repurchasing a house but that turned out to be a lie. I have a feeling he’s planning to move abroad and he has made it clear he won’t be helping at all financially. I do work and I have some savings and as he rudely said I’ll be fine because I can always go to my father if I need help according to him 🤦🏼‍♀️ I have only spoken to my mother about this at the moment as my father lives abroad and she is as shocked as I am. He’s 5 years older than I am but mature enough to know better

Get thee to a solicitor. You are married with DC - half the sale proceeds of that house sale are yours.
Do this now before he can bugger off abroard.

cordeliavorkosigan · 27/08/2026 08:39

Don't try to prove he is cheating! Try to prove he is hiding assets instead, get legal advice and records of the house sale and transfer abroad. Don't sell yourself short by 10000£s because he might be cheating and you get all into that while he makes your assets vanish forever.

Dery · 27/08/2026 08:39

Just seen about the house. Okay, this guy is a complete shit - a very nasty piece of work. I would say that potentially constitutes theft if you were joint owners of the house. What was the ownership of the house? If you were joint owners (ie both on the deeds) then half that money is yours and he has stolen it. Depending on what you can prove, you might consider reporting him to the police for theft. Sounds odd but i’m glad he’s leaving you: he sounds truly horrible. You’re much better off without him.

Swipe left for the next trending thread