Husband blocked me after he dumped me. What to do from here

[Annabel20]

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My husband left me out of the blue (we have 2 DD’s). He says he still loves me but he wants to forget me and move on. He has also said he wants to start dating but he doesn’t have anyone yet although he’s open to finding someone and remarrying and having more children. He then blocked me on WhatsApp so I can’t even call him about the children. I’m heartbroken I can’t stop crying. How can he say he loves me then block me and say he wants to move on. Surely if he loved me he wouldn’t be looking to be with anyone else? Also how can he block me when we have children. Please advise I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. How can he be so cruel. How do men do this I don’t understand how can he think he can just dump his family like we’re nothing and go start again. I’m a young mum by the way and I have no support at all 😭

I thought this too. But the 'pre-meditated' nature makes a mental health crisis less likely, surely. But starting a conversation with his family from a place of concern about that possibility could strengthen your case for finding out where he is. Claiming maintenance/getting the divorce sorted will be difficult if you don't have an address for him - you might be able to find out whether he's staying with them as part of the conversation.

I'm so sorry this has happened to you OP. Absolutely despicable behaviour. As other posters have suggested, ask you Dad for the best possible legal help and get ahead of as much as possible.

And as also mentioned above, try and make sure you're eating, drinking, sleeping (as much as possible) and surrounding yourself with as much support as you can 💐

Please report him to the police for theft and seek urgent legal advice to stop him leaving the country.

Depressed men don't generally secretly move the proceeds of the sale of the family house into an offshore account and tell their wife, the mother of his children, that he has no intention of supporting the said children. You know along with telling her he is open to remarrying and having more children. It doesn't really reek of depression, does it? In fact, he seems quite chipper about the whole business.

I think you need legal advice about whether there is any possibility of regaining your half share of the sale proceeds far more than you need to find out precisely what he is up to in his personal life. I suspect he is about to swan off abroad and it is extremely fortunate that your family has some financial resources so you are not left destitute and scrambling to buy groceries and pay the rent. For whatever reason, he is a wrong 'un.

Just imagine what he is going to do to the next woman who is going to be the mother of these further children. Past behaviour is the best predictor of future behaviour. If there is another woman, and I think it is likely that there is, then her future isn't looking too bright either.

If he's gone to Dubai I could possibly help you.
I don't want to print the name but I have a big cheese connection there.

You need to ask your fatger to.fund a solicitor. Find the best you can and aim to get your money from the house sale as a priority.

Yes he is British

OP was the house jointly owned? If he has removed your access to joint money then this may fall under the crime of financial abuse. Or it might be aome kind of fraud.. so, it might be worth involving the police as if its a crime they might be able to stop him leaving the country. I'd be involving them for sure ro see if there is anything they can do.

Thank you 🙏🏻 couldn’t agree more

X posted @Annabel20 I'm so sorry. That's a disgrace. How can anyone do that. Get angry.

You need a damn good solicitor. I just googled and you can apply for an emergency injunction to stop him.

Get all the evidence of what he's done that you can and act today. Get help. If your father is wealthy, talk to him. You need a good lawyer and now.

“Annabel20 · Today 08:49
Thanks everyone. I spoke to a family friend who’s a solicitor last night as he moved all his funds abroad. I believe he’s planning to move to Dubai possibly straight away. Apparently it’s very hard to get funds back once it’s been taken aboard, they will need forensic accountants etc and it could take years. If he’s in Dubai it is impossible to get anything back apparently and if he wont pay child maintenance if he’s abroad I don’t think there’s much I can do. I will go after him legally but I think it’s too late. It’s all too much to process I’ve been incredibly naive I’m just so angry at myself 😭”

I’m not sure it’s naive to trust your husband not to steal from you, OP. Most of us trust our spouses. So cut yourself some slack. Unfortunately, you were taken in by someone who’s clearly a very nasty piece of work. At least, you work and have family money behind you and you’re still young so you’re in a much stronger position than many abandoned wives; and he’s clearly profoundly nasty and not someone you could want in your life now you’ve seen what he’s capable of. It’s also great that your children are away from the influence of this horrible man. Keep their passports secure. Perhaps the police can arrest him for theft and prevent him leaving the country though that’s probably beyond their means for this kind of dispute but you may soon take the view that the further away he is, the better.

What a horrid man, cruel. Was this joint money in a joint account that he's stolen, where did the house sale money go.

The ‘I love yous’ are presumably to slow you down op. Go for it. Get angry at what he’s done to his children. Be practical.

He loves himself. Read all the threads from women in similar situations. They all think too highly of their ex. That he will want to see the children, he’ll support them, that he cares. So many men DON’T CARE. It’s awful- they’re pathetic, cowardly, selfish and work-shy. But you can’t change him. So take control. Start the divorce and start dreaming of the better life without him. I expect the longer he’s gone the more your eyes will be open to the waste of space he was. And claim child support. Don’t beg him to see his kids.

You still need to instruct a solicitor, who has knowledge of this type of law. Yes, a forensic accountant is going to be needed, but your husband is counting on you to feel so overwhelmed, that you don't bother. You need a solicitor now!! If it means you need to ask your Dad for help, then ask. Unless there's a huge backstory here, then your Dad isn't likely to say No.

You have to try and claw this money back. One thing is very clear, your husband is no longer on your team. He's not got your or your children's best interest at heart. Unfortunately, it will mean that your husband's family are no longer yours (although remain your children's), so do NOT give them any information!

I know you are shocked at what he's done but don't waste another tear on him. He has abandoned you and his children and has been planning this for some time. He has stolen from you, no wonder his sister is too embarrassed to call you back.

He had it registered in his company name. I was very naive I know I was young when I married him and fully trusted him so I never insisted on having my name on anything

No we never had joint accounts. I trusted him and didn’t question it. I’ve been incredibly stupid to do so I know

Thank you so much I will try to do that today

He can't just open a bank account in UAE, he needs to apply for ID first which I think takes 30 days minimum but I am no lawyer, I'd inform the tax office and banks here, he has financial,obligations like tax, rent to pay. Why did he choose Dubai, has he got work there, you can't just move there permanently without checks.

Wow. So he's had an eye on the exit from the start then if he's had your house down as a company asset. He is some kind of flipping psycho to act as he has. Cold doesn't cover it.

You need specialist advice and fast.

Get legal advice immediately. Put in a claim for child maintenance with the child maintenance service - he doesn't get to decide whether he's going to support his children. You're hurt but its time to get angry. Your marraige is over - sorry to be blunt but it is. He might try to worm his way back to you and you might be tempted to take him back, but the reality is that you will never be able to trust him after this. The likelihood is that he has already met someone, I'm sorry to say. Perhaps she hasn't fully committed yet, so he's keeping you dangling just in case.

Definitely need a forensic accountant and a solicitor who is expert at dealing with these situations.

If he owns the company he will likely tell you it is worth nothing when it comes to a divorce settlement and he doesn’t earn any money from it to get out of paying CMS

Start a Universal Credit application online today and make an appointment to see a solicitor, any contact can go through them. Go take half of all joint accounts.

Block him on all technology and consider yourself lucky that this twat has shown what he is, while you are young enough to rebuild a life with someone who truly loves, values and respects you.

On two years time you will thank your lucky stars you got out when you did.

Good luck and be strong xx

“He had it registered in his company name. I was very naive I know I was young when I married him and fully trusted him so I never insisted on having my name on anything”

Did you contribute financially to the house purchase? Can you show the evidence for that? If so, then there are likely legal arguments you can make that you are entitled to a return of the money you contributed. After all, why would gift money to his company? I’m a lawyer but not in this area but I think there may be arguments that there is an implied/constructive trust in relation to any money you put towards the purchase.

So he has a job. You need to claim child support today. Has he left his paperwork in the house? Pay slips, bank statements etc. get those together today and make the claim. It is a huge, positive step you can do.