Husband blocked me after he dumped me. What to do from here

[Annabel20]

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My husband left me out of the blue (we have 2 DD’s). He says he still loves me but he wants to forget me and move on. He has also said he wants to start dating but he doesn’t have anyone yet although he’s open to finding someone and remarrying and having more children. He then blocked me on WhatsApp so I can’t even call him about the children. I’m heartbroken I can’t stop crying. How can he say he loves me then block me and say he wants to move on. Surely if he loved me he wouldn’t be looking to be with anyone else? Also how can he block me when we have children. Please advise I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. How can he be so cruel. How do men do this I don’t understand how can he think he can just dump his family like we’re nothing and go start again. I’m a young mum by the way and I have no support at all 😭

also these experienced firms will have forensic accountants and enquiry agents links so one stop shop

My friends husband did this. Moving all the money abroad. He fled with the other woman. They bought a business there. She never saw a penny or him ever again. He did contact his daughter when she was an adult.

My husband pretty much did the same. Although he moved in with a 17 year old who lived a couple of doors away.
You need to just sit down and accept eventually, that if someone behaves like that he doesn't give a shit about his family or you. He is a despicable human being and you are honestly better off without him as difficult as that may be to stomach. I feel for you.

You need the best legal advice. Check for solicitors or maybe better still a direct access barrister ( maybe cheaper than a solicitor in the long run).

Go on line to 'The Legal 500' and/or 'Chambers and Partners' ie organisations which rate solicitors and barristers in all the various specialisms according to recommendations by their peers (ie other solicitors and barristers who have worked with them) in all areas of England.

You then ring the offices or chambers (for barristers) of the people you choose in your area and explain to the secretary (or clerks) what area of law you need advice on and preferably the name of the person you want to have a meeting with. They should quote a fee for the meeting and arrange an appointment for you.

The solicitor/barrister should be able to give you an idea of how/ if you can reasonably expect to get some recompense etc from your husband. Subsequently they will offer further meetings if needed etc and quote you a price for them, which you either agree to or decline. You may well need a barrister if it ends up in court.

Do you think he is in trouble with the tax man or someone / something else regaurding money hence why he's moved all this money as effed off pretty quickly? Either way, if it's considered a crime in Dubai, he can be extradited back to the UK if it is fraud he has committed.

No because everything is legal and paid and all is fine with his companies. I have checked with our accountant and the solicitors after the sale of our house and also regarding his companies. He’s financially very well off so he wouldn’t need to put himself in that position. Business wise he’s great just emotionally he’s clearly a psychopath.

This, but please don't waste money on a solicitor at this stage. A solicitor cannot enforce anything or get him to be reasonable.

All the info you need is online, forms are on gov.uk.

Do apply for universal credit if applicable and definitely CMS.

You need real life support as this is brutal. He's already met someone else, sadly this is very standard behaviour. - Been there.

What a coward he is, I'm so sorry youre going thru this OP. X

Thank you so much, so sorry about your father. Yes I’m doing exactly that I believe in always being honest with children so they are aware of what’s going on and how I will never leave them. They are very attached to me already and I constantly tell them how they’re my world. I didn’t have an affectionate mother growing up and I know how much that hurts, so I married young for love not knowing I married a psychopath. I’m blaming myself for marrying the wrong person and the fact that they don’t have a dad they can rely on.

The blame needs to change sides.
You married for love not really knowing who this man was.
All that matters is that you know now, and that your children will come first.
You sound like a fabulous mum.

Yes exacly. His excuse is my father is richer than him and as I’m an only child and have a trust I don’t need his money. He’s a monster.

I’d the money is in Switzerland you maybe need a swiss layer too.

OP I was in a similar situation, ex dumped us, blocked me everywhere, moved abroad and is hiding his assets all over the world. I think it would be very difficult to recover your money now that it's abroad. Even if successful, it would take years I guess. CM would be difficult to enforce too even if REMO country as he will hide as much as he can. He has already proven to you what he's capable of doing, you can only expect worse as he gets on with his exciting new life.

You work and your family can support you, you won't be starving. I would focus on sorting out custody over children as men creatures like this have a habit of bouncing back and making your life hell over children arrangements. They are utterly selfish and would harm children without second thought. My ex is doing this right now, after ten years of absence from DC's life.

He doesn't love you, he doesn't love his children and you can expect anything from him, including things much worse than money theft. Sort out the custody first.

Get your wealthy father to give you the money for a solicitor or perhaps he knows a good one for divorces.

Your husband is gaslighting you. He cannot just decide he is not going to send support. You have to prepare yourself for the fact he is sleeping with someone else. Call his bluff. Don't try to reach out to him. Block his number so he cannot send you texts. If you do speak to him tell him the next time he hears from you will be from your solicitor.

Be strong.

Ah bless you. I had the same. 1 DC though. I am 5 weeks in. Woke up, decided to bugger off, one text and blocked. 13 years together. It is hell. Reach out if you need xx

They have you and you are enough. You will get through this. And him buggering off completely may well be a blessing in disguise - no fighting, no having to manage his moods, no waving off your kids with a fixed smile on your face. You can rebuild without interference - priceless, honestly.

Be kind to yourself. It's early days. You just have to wade through the shit, can't go round it. But there is another side and you will reach it.

AI suggests you need an international law firm that specialises in retrieving overseas assets. It also suggests you need to act as quickly as possible and not tell him your intentions.

What an odious man.

He doesn't love you and most certainly had an affair.

Drag him through the courts.

From the beginning, your husband decided that he was going to make sure any assets he has, stayed solely in his possession. He's deliberately and systematically made sure that you and the children won't benefit from him at all. That's cold, calculated premeditated and cruel, especially towards his own children.

This may sound an odd question OP, but has your husband benefitted in any way from marrying you? Did your Dad for example fund some of his businesses? Have you given him a large chunk of inherited money? Most people marry because they're in love, your husband, is completely indifferent to you and his children. It's almost as if he's got what he wanted out the relationship and now you're no use to him....this is why I asked the above question.

If your husband has connections to Dubai, you need to make sure that your husband can't take your children out of the UK. If he were to take them to Dubai, and refused to allow them back home, you'd never get the Dubai authorities to enforce the return, as men are favoured.

The above is probably an unlikely scenario, considering the fact your husband is prepared to leave his children, and is refusing to financially support them. However, there's always a possibility, and therefore you need to make sure you put legalities in place to stop him.

That's theft.
I would be involving the police before he runs off abroad!

Start to claim child maitinance and UC if you need it asap.

He can look after himself once his kids CM deductions have been paid (then he will know how much he has to spend on himself) !!!
Do not tell him his family anything, Selfish idiot he is.

Hes hoping your family will help you financially whilst he looks after himself but if they do it can impact on any benifits you may be entilted to so if anything they can give you a little Cash to help you for a week or so.

What amazing strong lady you are. Plenty of good advice but just wanted to say how amazing you are. X

What an utter despicable arsehole he is.

Please don't blame yourself - you fell in love and assumed your beloved loved you back. Why wouldn't you.

The shame its all his to bear. Hold your head up high.

When I went through a breakup with my exh, a friend advised me to make a list of everything i had to do that day, and simply work my way down it. Don't include anything that doesn't have to be done right now (like 'just popping a wash on/ cleaning the bath/ cooking a roast). It was very good advice which i return to if i ever have a really difficult day ahead of me. It takes all the decisions away - once you've made the list, no more worrying what to do.

I really hope things get better for you soon. You will get through this 💐

@Annabel20 op lean on anyone you can for support . However you u need to get sorted financially . He is looking out for himself in ou have to do the same for you and the kids.Do you work ? Either way put a UC claim in . Also a child maintenance claim

Ok 💐 I feel ao angry for you. How dare he do this to you and his DD. Not giving a single fk if you eat, drink or have a roof over your heads. I hope you take him for every penny he has. The rotten bastard 💐💐

Are you in Switzerland?