Husband blocked me after he dumped me. What to do from here

[Annabel20]

Any advice would be greatly appreciated. My husband left me out of the blue (we have 2 DD’s). He says he still loves me but he wants to forget me and move on. He has also said he wants to start dating but he doesn’t have anyone yet although he’s open to finding someone and remarrying and having more children. He then blocked me on WhatsApp so I can’t even call him about the children. I’m heartbroken I can’t stop crying. How can he say he loves me then block me and say he wants to move on. Surely if he loved me he wouldn’t be looking to be with anyone else? Also how can he block me when we have children. Please advise I’m on the verge of a nervous breakdown. How can he be so cruel. How do men do this I don’t understand how can he think he can just dump his family like we’re nothing and go start again. I’m a young mum by the way and I have no support at all 😭

Pleass check you are legally married, eg, thats its not an Islamic marriage carried out in the uk

You need to move quickly. I think this may need a court order. You need professional advice asap. For someone so depressed he has been very strategic. I’d be depressed too if I knew I’d treated someone as badly as he has treated you.

You should share your story on social media too. And call anyone who he works with and let them know what he’s done. I wouldn’t rest till everyone knew what a scumbag he was.

And when the kids are a bit older…or if he ever tries to come back into your kids lives, be sure to tell them that he stole from all of you.

OP, I know you won't feel this now, and I know the heartbreak for you and your kids cuts unbearably deep, but this snivelling sack of shit has actually done you a massive favour by getting out of your lives.

Move on yourself, even if you don't feel it - fake it til you make it. Take all his stuff and box it up and put it on the street, tell him to come pick it up or you'll rent a skip. Make sure he knows that you will also get yourself back on the dating market when you've finished processing the breakup. As soon as he realises that you can also date other people, the reality of what he's done will hit him.

He will likely come crawling back in about 6 months. Tell him to fuck off.

Put in an official claim for child maintenance today via CMS

Put in a single person with children claim for universal credit

Look on www.gov.uk for links to apply

You need legal advice at this point.

Put a claim for child maintenance in through CMS and issue a divorce petition.

So sorry you are hurting. You will feel anger soon, and at that stage you will be close to recovery. 💐

What an absolute and utter prick!! I am so sorry he has done this to you, and to your DDs who do not deserve to be abandoned by their father.

I'm not saying you're not, but can I strongly suggest you have a lot of conversations with them about how much you love them, and how you will never leave them. I can appreciate you are reeling right now. But so are they and they need to know they are safe.

(From someone who's father vanished into thin air one night and my mother went to pieces)

Then the house was never yours and the money isn’t either. It’s company property. Are you a shareholder of the company? If not that’s gone and won’t be recoverable.

Then the house was never yours and the money isn’t either. It’s company property. Are you a shareholder of the company? If not that’s gone and won’t be recoverable.

You accelerated him moving by showing your hand. OP, please get some legal advice before you do anything else.

Well done! Anger is your friend here imo. Definitely claim for child maintenance through CMS.

He'll have been having an affair. Forget him, after you've contacted a solicitor who will take him to the cleaners. What a bastard 🤬

I don't think I've ever read anything as atrocious as this!

If he was running away due to debt I wouldn't have thought that he would have told Op anything at all.

I hope you can manage to salvage something Op although I would have thought that he probably got everything out of reach before saying anything.

Saying that he still loves you is surely a tactic to blindside you/keep you "onside".

No advice but just on to say wow!!! Not just his awful behaviour but wow to how you're managing this OP. You sound incredible, keep going.

What an absolute B. Only thing he loves is cold hard cash. Don’t listen to what he says OP take heed of what he’s done. He’s left you and the kids destitute, negated all of his legal and moral responsibilities and plans on living a playboy lifestyle abroad. Do. Not. Trust. Him. He wants to shaft you. Get proper legal advice.

Even if the money is lost to OP now, it’s worthwhile getting the Police involved so he fears arrest should he show his face again. Including for his poor sick elderly parents.

Would a criminal record affect his visa?

I’d go all in, belt and braces, including an emergency injunction to ensure he can’t play dirty and involve the kids / custody.

What a bastard! I hope you’re speaking to a solicitor today. Chin up. You can do this. You’ll be ok. You’ve got your kids. He might have the money, but what you’ve got is priceless.

I'm so sorry this is happening to you and your children, what a shock. I would say that he's already got someone else, from his actions and what's he's saying. That's why he's suddenly left and cut you off. It is very cruel.

I'm also so sorry that you don't have any support - no friends or family you can lean on?
Forget his sister - I have learned that blood is definitely thicker than water in these situations and he's probably told his sister a pack of lies about you and the situation.
The saying he loves you bit, is not true. You don't treat people you love this way. I imagine he is saying that to keep you just at arms length in case this other thing doesn't work out - hedging his bets.
Now to practical things - I wouldn't waste your energy trying to find out if he is seeing someone else. Instead get a free consultation with a family solicitor. Information is power. It sounds like he has deceived you about selling the house, to get the money out and he can't just decide he isn't going to support you or his children.

@Annabel20 this is one of the worst things I've read on MN.

Use that strength to go after him. Your mission now is to recoup a much as you can from this piece of shit, for you and your kids.

The time to reflect on trust and all that comes later.. for now, its about getting angry and productive....

Speak to everyone and anyone who can help you... and don't shy away from telling his friends and family what he's done. Hopefully they will be appalled and put some pressure on. But experience tells me that.. particulary where family is concrned... they soon start 'accepting' what has happened and removing their support. So strike whilst the iron is hot...

Don't think I'd want to talk to a person like this, or have him near the kids, unless there's something you've not said. No normal person says they love their wife and abandons them and their kids. If it's out the blue and he used to be decent, maybe speak to his parents about whether there's some neurological or other health thing going on? There's been articles about people who've had certain medication that's changed them (nice people who started having affairs, gambling etc), and obviously brain or mental health conditions are real conditions that need treatment.
But if he's just wanting to act like a teenager, the kids are surely better off without someone who teaches them marriage, love and parenting doesn't matter.

I’m sorry OP.

try and channel your heartbreak into anger, he’s a fucking cunt.

“Depression” and “breakdown” my fat arse. Honestly some people really will excuse any manner of appalling behaviour in men

What a disgusting excuse for a human being - if you've not done so already, please contact a solicitor who specialises in such things (not just a family friend). Your name may not be on anything, but you are still his wife, and that entitles you to 50% as a starting point (in this country at least).

The fact that he has abandoned - yes abandoned - his children is utterly abhorrent.

I have nothing to add advice wise but just wanted to echo others with giving my support to you getting everything you can from the bast**d. This sounds strategic, carefully planned over a period of time with stashing money overseas and prepping for a move to Dubai. So sorry for you and your children that they are losing their father, but also doesn't sound like he would actually be much of a parental figure.

Get that divorce filed, a killer solicitor hired, CMS claim entered (even if it just becomes a debt in his name), and speak to your dad. You may have made mistakes in the past, but sounds like you thankfully have family and financial support, so you can make him regret every action he has made against you.

Best of luck, rooting for you and really hope it all works out for you and your kids.

I've never been through this, but my understanding is that your father's wealth is immaterial - your dirtbag husband must provide financial support for his children.