Too much sex?

[exw88]

Been dating new man for 3 months.

It is very sex-centric, although we do have some deep conversations and quality time together too and dates without sex… but is mostly sex. He can turn any conversation into sex, this is daily.

I am attracted to him and the sex should be enjoyable on paper, he’s not selfish, is adventurous which I like… but he could want sex 3 times a day… not quick sessions this could be between 1-2hrs each.

I feel sore all the time, and tired. I can’t keep up with him!

He’s always suggesting more and more, new ideas for sex… says to keep things interesting. Sometimes I feel like I’m not performing well enough, or I’m not good enough at it because this suggestion makes it feel like he’s bored already.

At the same time he says it’s the best sex he’s ever had?!

I do enjoy his company and he is a nice guy, but I’m not sure if to end it because simply I can’t keep up with this. I am starting to dread having sex with him purely because I know how long it will be, and know I will be sore after. Both 30s if that matters.

I say end it because he's having sex with her when she's in pain from too much sex. Plus how can she take care of her life if she's spending hours a day having sex that's too much and making her hurt?

Or have you not said anything at all?

Be honest. Hours of sex a day hurts. Your vagina is not a fleshlight. If you decide to stay, you need to tell him if you're sore or in pain and postpone sexual activity. Make sure he cleans his dick and perineal area well before sex, use plenty of lube that's compatible with condoms, drink a lot of water, and clean yourself with water. Bleeding that doesn't stop, see a doc.

No.

That should do it. No thanks babes, I'm done in from before. Let's watch a film/go for a walk/have a bath together/cook some dinner.

Just tell him that you're not up for doing it for two hours, three times in succession, it's not for you, you're not into it, and if that's what he wants, then you're incompatible.

That is totally abnormal behaviour and a massive red flag.

I'd be asking to look at his search history......without sounding like a total perv, do these sex sessions involve any "porn talk"....iykyk.....if so....there is your answer.
If you're dreading it, there is also your answer.

Oh god. I couldn’t.

Take him to an owl sanctuary or to
look round a nice castle.

Jesus Christ. Sit down with a cup of tea and have a biscuit.

Could he be filming you OP?
It sounds all kinds of wrong to me...needing that long to achieve a fabulous orgasm or two for you both sounds like bad sex.
Sounds like he has blunted himself one way or another.

I had a boyfriend like this years ago; immediately after we'd had sex he'd want it again. It was a control thing; when I said no he'd sulk and ignore me for days. I soon dumped him, he was too needy.

As a test you could say you've sorted yourself out today..so happily post orgasmic glow no need to have more sex ..see how he takes it ..it will tell you everything

Unless you have a very high sex drive, this is very unsustainable and would be for most women. Only resentment lies ahead, so it's best you end it now before you get further emotionally entangled. He won't want to, because he's getting so much from you now, but it's best for you.

Ouch! No, I absolutely would not be doing that. In my dating days my heart used to sink if a man talked about how he could go “for hours”. No thanks, that says uti and/or thrush for me.
Just say no op. Tell him what you are happy with and stick to that.

This sounds genuinely awful! I couldn’t bare that! Does he not want to actually do anything together other than sex?! Is that all he values about you?!

What made you do a Claires law on him?

Sex is great but 2 hours???? Several times a day? That would be incredibly boring. Does he not think you might have better things to be doing and thinking about? You can't possibly be seeing him every day of the week because presumably you have to work or do other things.

I love eating out at restaurants and swimming and hot bubble baths - but doing most things for several hours several times a day would get fairly dull.

I think you need to say no and see what his reaction is.

🤣

I think you’re just going have to woman up and tell him that you’re sore due to how long the (multiple) sessions are and you’re going to need to calm it right down. His reaction will tell you everything.

OP - how have you endured this for 3 whole months? Ain't nobody got time for that. I wouldn't be able to stay in bed all day on my weekends - haven't you got things to do? I'd be bored out of my skull.

DUMP!

Sod that. I couldn't be arsed with that. He doesn't sound like a great catch if he's not concerned you're sore. Sounds boring to me. I would bin him off.

Sounds as though he might have sex addiction issues….

Maybe ask him if he minds if you watch TV while he ploughs you for 2 hours - which is the average length of a feature film?

I agree with everyone else about how tiresome this must be. My friend's dog latches itself onto your leg and wants to dry hump the moment you visit her. It is so annoying!

From my own experience, I would run for the hills. My relationship started very much like this. At first the intensity was exciting and fun, but eventually it became exhausting. I reached the point where I was frightened of ordinary affection because I worried that every cuddle, kiss or touch was going to become an expectation of sex.
The biggest warning sign in your post for me is that you are already saying you dread having sex with him after only three months. Please don’t ignore that feeling.
Having a high sex drive isn’t wrong, but neither is not wanting sex three times a day for hours at a time. You shouldn’t be sore, exhausted or feeling that you have to perform to keep somebody interested. I wish I had paid much more attention to how I was feeling when I reached that point. You don’t have to keep up with anybody. Sex should be something you want, not something you start bracing yourself for.

“Hey babe, I like you. I like sex. I don’t want to have sex 6 hours a day. It’s beginning to feel like all you want me for is sex! And I’m sore. I don’t want any more sex this week. Please can you have a Think if you will be happy having sex once a day (for under an hour!) or every other day or if we are incompatible.!”

Have you ever said ‘no? If so, what was his reaction? If not, why not?

I would test the waters. Tell him you've got a terrible UTI and sex is off limits for the foreseeable.

Then see how long it takes until he starts to twitch....

He’s always suggesting more and more, new ideas for sex…

I would feel like I was being used as a prop for him to act out all his fantasies on. Like he has a backlog of things he's been wanting to do and tag, you're it.

I had a boyfriend a bit like this, it was bloody knackering and got boring and he was always pushing for it to be as exciting as possible, so increasingly complex ideas... just started to feel like a performance project, the affection withered and I just wanted to relaxed in my own personal body space and not be manhandled. I wanted to get more sleep and feel like if we put a film on I'd know I would actually get to watch it. But then there aren't many things I want to do repeatedly for hours on end several times a week.