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Original poster

Too much sex?

229 replies

exw88 · 15/08/2026 10:33

Been dating new man for 3 months.

It is very sex-centric, although we do have some deep conversations and quality time together too and dates without sex… but is mostly sex. He can turn any conversation into sex, this is daily.

I am attracted to him and the sex should be enjoyable on paper, he’s not selfish, is adventurous which I like… but he could want sex 3 times a day… not quick sessions this could be between 1-2hrs each.

I feel sore all the time, and tired. I can’t keep up with him!

He’s always suggesting more and more, new ideas for sex… says to keep things interesting. Sometimes I feel like I’m not performing well enough, or I’m not good enough at it because this suggestion makes it feel like he’s bored already.

At the same time he says it’s the best sex he’s ever had?!

I do enjoy his company and he is a nice guy, but I’m not sure if to end it because simply I can’t keep up with this. I am starting to dread having sex with him purely because I know how long it will be, and know I will be sore after. Both 30s if that matters.

OP posts:
OtterlyAstounding · 16/08/2026 05:30

Either break up with him - or just tell him!!

Say you like him and he's lovely, but it's too much sex. Too much! Tell him how often you'd like it, that you don't want every session to be a bloody marathon and a quickie is fine, and that he's making you start to dread sex because it hurts, it takes forever, and you do actually have other things you'd like to do with your day, either with him, or alone.

If he takes it well and agrees to your new terms, then give him six more weeks - if he starts to lapse back into his old habits before the six weeks are up, you'll know to get rid.

WallaceinAnderland · 16/08/2026 12:30

If you really like him and want to continue seeing him then you're going to have to tell him he's no good at sex. Obviously don't word it so bluntly but if you're bored of sex with him already then he's probably going to have the same experience with every woman. Someone has to tell him.

AcrossthePond55 · 16/08/2026 18:16

OtterlyAstounding · 16/08/2026 05:30

Either break up with him - or just tell him!!

Say you like him and he's lovely, but it's too much sex. Too much! Tell him how often you'd like it, that you don't want every session to be a bloody marathon and a quickie is fine, and that he's making you start to dread sex because it hurts, it takes forever, and you do actually have other things you'd like to do with your day, either with him, or alone.

If he takes it well and agrees to your new terms, then give him six more weeks - if he starts to lapse back into his old habits before the six weeks are up, you'll know to get rid.

@exw88

This!

FatherDickByrneV · 16/08/2026 18:44

What happens during your period? (If you have them of course)

TheLurpackYears · 16/08/2026 18:44

Does he have Parkinson’s? There are some medications for this that can cause hyper sexual behaviour, have you noticed if he takes anything?

BlueHydrangea7 · 16/08/2026 18:51

6 hours a day? Who has time for that?! Nah, I'm getting cystitis just thinking about it.

Also, a long term relationship with a sex addict would bring all kinds of problems. How could you trust him?

EmmaB1309 · 16/08/2026 18:55

I went to read this thinking it would be some sort of bragging post about all this mind blowing sex you’re having!
But that sounds awful. Why don’t men realise that we get sore and desensitised trying to have sex multiple times a day. Maybe I just have a low sex drive (and I am perimenopausal!) but any more than once or twice a WEEK and I just don’t enjoy it the same. And several times a day I’d be in agony! Our bits are really quite sensitive! I need a fairly long gap and some anticipation for it to be enjoyable.
You may just be sexually incompatible but to be honest he sounds abnormal!
You have to tell him you are not enjoying this frequency and see if you can agree on a regularity that you are both happy with. If he can’t do that, dump him! Don’t the two of you have jobs? Lol.

Tennisbiatch · 16/08/2026 18:56

If you’re sore he may need to focus on your pleasure a bit more. That way you’ll be more ready for the intense hour long rodgering. Although you don’t exist to fulfill his needs and you can tell him that x

TB23 · 16/08/2026 18:57

You need to have a serious conversation with him asap and should never have sex if you don't want to. Also don't agree to things just because he wants to keep things "interesting" if you don't want to. It sounds awful and definitely excessive - and frankly he might have a sex addiction, not as rare as people think.

Moanyoldmoan · 16/08/2026 19:00

You will be bored senseless of this man when all this has worn off !

Viviennemary · 16/08/2026 19:02

It sounds grim. Call it a day.

Katigee410 · 16/08/2026 19:06

I'd say you had a good fun time, but it's clean break time now

MMUmum · 16/08/2026 19:08

exw88 · 15/08/2026 10:43

I thought it might just be a new relationship type thing where it might slow down a little after the initial excitement, but it’s not…

He does know I get sore, I have told him and he says he will be more gentle and he can be but mainly I think it’s the length of time and the amount of it.

Its not an issue with him needing a long time to finish, I know he can finish quickly because we have had that before… it just seems to be his preference for long sessions.

I have had thoughts of whether it could be a porn/masturbation thing. He did tell me he was masturbating between 1-3 times a day when he was single, which was for a while.

And yes I agree it’s boring and I am getting bored of it. I don’t think multiple long sessions constantly equals a great sex life.

You are getting bored with it and there doesn't seem to be much else going on,? why put yourself through the pain, end it and find someone with more empathy and who wants more from your lives together

OnlyUsername · 16/08/2026 19:11

"He does know I get sore, I have told him and he says he will be more gentle"

OP. That is not the right answer.

PinotPony · 16/08/2026 19:15

It’s not about whether it’s too much sex. How long or how often. It’s about compatibility.

I’m a few months into a new relationship and having ridiculous amounts of sex whenever we see each other. Both very happy with that! But he’s made it very clear that a film and a cuddle in the sofa is equally enjoyable to him. I’d have no qualms in saying no if I was too sore or getting bored with it.

Why do you feel you can’t have an honest conversation with your man? It doesn’t bode well for the rest of the relationship if you can’t just tell him how you’re feeling about your sex life.

HollyhocksandPeons · 16/08/2026 19:16

He is using you for free sex?

Bringflowersofthefairest · 16/08/2026 19:20

Of course he’s saying it’s the best sex he’s ever had.
He’s got his very own compliant sex doll willing to do everything he suggests by the sounds of it.
It sounds too much OP and not fair on you especially as you’re in pain.
I would be telling him you’re not doing anything sexual for a while. See how he takes it.

shuggles · 16/08/2026 19:20

@exw88 Highly unusual for a 30-something man to want that much sex. I'm 30s and not having sex at the moment... I can't see how someone would want sex more frequently than once a month or every few months. How can a man want to have sex that often?

oncemoreuntothebeachdearfriends · 16/08/2026 19:21

So how many orgasms do you have per session ?

PistachioTiramisu · 16/08/2026 19:21

Any sex is too much

Mugsey62 · 16/08/2026 19:21

exw88 · 15/08/2026 10:33

Been dating new man for 3 months.

It is very sex-centric, although we do have some deep conversations and quality time together too and dates without sex… but is mostly sex. He can turn any conversation into sex, this is daily.

I am attracted to him and the sex should be enjoyable on paper, he’s not selfish, is adventurous which I like… but he could want sex 3 times a day… not quick sessions this could be between 1-2hrs each.

I feel sore all the time, and tired. I can’t keep up with him!

He’s always suggesting more and more, new ideas for sex… says to keep things interesting. Sometimes I feel like I’m not performing well enough, or I’m not good enough at it because this suggestion makes it feel like he’s bored already.

At the same time he says it’s the best sex he’s ever had?!

I do enjoy his company and he is a nice guy, but I’m not sure if to end it because simply I can’t keep up with this. I am starting to dread having sex with him purely because I know how long it will be, and know I will be sore after. Both 30s if that matters.

Bin him. Can't see it getting any better.

Kerri44 · 16/08/2026 19:21

Me and my husband were like rabbits at 1st, few times a day and both in our mid 30's.....13yrs later and a 9 & 4yr old not so much.....but that's on me he'd still be a few times a day (now both 47) but life is busy and I'm shattered but it's always spicy

RoxyRoo2011 · 16/08/2026 19:23

Some people haven’t even slept together after three months and you’re already starting to dread it. In my honest opinion, you’re not compatible in the bedroom and this will only cause issues the deeper in you get (excuse the pun). You either need to address it seriously with him or end it. If it were me, I’d be ending it.

TheSunBeatsDown · 16/08/2026 19:24

He knows three times for one or two hours is too much for you, painful, and boring, but he doesn't care, he's happy with the situation.

A considerate lover would be checking in with you, he's not, he's not going to change and you should remove yourself unless you like being in this situation which is a no as you've already said.

My guess is if you try to negotiate once a day he'll go in a sulk. Is he on drugs?

Vanillaicelatte · 16/08/2026 19:24

exw88 · 15/08/2026 11:14

We don’t see each other every day so it’s not happening daily thankfully!

He said his last relationship there was not much sex. I agree sex is important and I consider myself someone who likes it, but this is just way too much for me.

If I’m being completely honest with myself I do feel a bit of pressure to keep up, it’s not that he’s pressuring me but it’s just the knowledge of his last relationship not having enough (he says it was once a month if that, but who knows what the truth is!).

he actually seems to be quite manipulative
he deliberately told you that he split up with his ex because of not much sex

so now you feel that you have to be better than the ex and give him as much sex as he needs as otherwise the relationship will end

Honestly that sort of sex would make me feel like Im just there for his own needs and I would probably end it

and if you continue to have sex when your sore watch out for cystitis, thrush and tiny vagina tears

he is acting like a horny teenager 2-3 times a day of an hour long plus
that would be giving me nightmares
and I love sex