Too much sex?

[exw88]

Been dating new man for 3 months.

It is very sex-centric, although we do have some deep conversations and quality time together too and dates without sex… but is mostly sex. He can turn any conversation into sex, this is daily.

I am attracted to him and the sex should be enjoyable on paper, he’s not selfish, is adventurous which I like… but he could want sex 3 times a day… not quick sessions this could be between 1-2hrs each.

I feel sore all the time, and tired. I can’t keep up with him!

He’s always suggesting more and more, new ideas for sex… says to keep things interesting. Sometimes I feel like I’m not performing well enough, or I’m not good enough at it because this suggestion makes it feel like he’s bored already.

At the same time he says it’s the best sex he’s ever had?!

I do enjoy his company and he is a nice guy, but I’m not sure if to end it because simply I can’t keep up with this. I am starting to dread having sex with him purely because I know how long it will be, and know I will be sore after. Both 30s if that matters.

I’d end it, that sounds awful. Who could be arsed having sex for up to 6 hours a day. Not to mention the pain you’re in because of it, does he not care about that as long as he gets his end away?

I am starting to dread having sex with him purely because I know how long it will be, and know I will be sore after

Surely this is the only bit you should be focusing on

That sounds so boring. He sounds boring.

I hope you’re not starting to feel obliged to do it when you don’t want to?

wtf

Bin bin bin

Why are you consenting to being injured?

Hard for me to imagine, given that my DH never wants sex with me.

I thought it might just be a new relationship type thing where it might slow down a little after the initial excitement, but it’s not…

He does know I get sore, I have told him and he says he will be more gentle and he can be but mainly I think it’s the length of time and the amount of it.

Its not an issue with him needing a long time to finish, I know he can finish quickly because we have had that before… it just seems to be his preference for long sessions.

I have had thoughts of whether it could be a porn/masturbation thing. He did tell me he was masturbating between 1-3 times a day when he was single, which was for a while.

And yes I agree it’s boring and I am getting bored of it. I don’t think multiple long sessions constantly equals a great sex life.

First post and lots of sex references. Quiet weekend ?!

It’s not, it’s a username name change due to the nature of this. I just wanted advice off here. I’m confused as I am attracted to him and I do like him, I just can’t keep up with this amount.

Sorry cross posted with op, my post is no longer relevant.

After 3 months it should still be interesting without him having to keep suggesting new things every 5 minutes. It’s not like you’ve been married 20 years and have hit stalemate. He sounds totally sex obsessed tbh.

....say no? I'd wouldn't be agreeing to sex that left me in pain

Honestly, it does sound boring. And it hurts. It's incredible - and revealing of hus selfishness - that he still pushes for sex when you've told him you're sore.

Maybe you should equalise things. Tell him you'll sandpaper his dick until it looks as red and raw like your vagina feels, and then you'll consider another 2 hour long (boring) fuck marathon.

I think you need to tell him you need a rest and his reaction will tell you whether you need to end things or not.

That intense sex at the start of a relationship is normal, and fucking wonderful, but 6 hours a day?! I’m sore just at the thought of it.

Sounds excessive. It is normal to be very into it initially. Before finishing it have an honest conversation that it is too much. If you are sore it needs to calm down. Hus reaction will tell you what you need to know. He should be saying and showing that your comfort and wants are important.

Extremely off putting behaviour that will not improve, only get worse.
I'd dump him OP. Unless you want to be 5 years into relationship, with the first passion fully gone, but still kept awake in to the night rimming this guy for hours (or whatever new thing he's into).

I think you are being used as a sex toy by the sound of it! Be honest if you dont call it a day now. you will be very sore for a long while in a LT RL like this.I think he sounds selfish and this is bad .3 months in he should be loving and kind .hugs and kisses ,little treats not just bonk bonk bonk!

If you want to stay with him you need to say that these sex sessions need to be reduced, most people I think would be happy 3 times weekly. Or you will dump.

Icky

We don’t see each other every day so it’s not happening daily thankfully!

He said his last relationship there was not much sex. I agree sex is important and I consider myself someone who likes it, but this is just way too much for me.

If I’m being completely honest with myself I do feel a bit of pressure to keep up, it’s not that he’s pressuring me but it’s just the knowledge of his last relationship not having enough (he says it was once a month if that, but who knows what the truth is!).

Blimey, doesn’t he have any other interests? How boring.

Just start saying no more often. If he can’t accept that then you know what to do.

I mean I’m 3 months in too and we have loads of sex but also normal dates, cooking together, watching films, bowling etc. if I can’t be arsed I just tell him “not tonight” and he gives me a cuddle and we go to sleep!

I'm wondering if it was just his perception that there wasn't much sex, but his ex'd have a different tale! 😂

If you're sore, say no.

If the sex should be enjoyable but isn't, it isn't! There's no should about it.

Is he actually giving you orgasms?

I enjoy sex but I couldnt stand a 1-2 hour session, let alone multiple of them in one day. I had an ex a bit like this, eventually I hated sex with him and even dreaded him touching me. Thank god I broke up with him, I only wish I did it sooner.

learn to say no. your feelings are as valid as his.

you need to both talk.

i think hes addicted to sex. he needs to seek help.

I am starting to dread having sex with him.

This tells you everything you need to know.