Too much sex?

[exw88]

Been dating new man for 3 months.

It is very sex-centric, although we do have some deep conversations and quality time together too and dates without sex… but is mostly sex. He can turn any conversation into sex, this is daily.

I am attracted to him and the sex should be enjoyable on paper, he’s not selfish, is adventurous which I like… but he could want sex 3 times a day… not quick sessions this could be between 1-2hrs each.

I feel sore all the time, and tired. I can’t keep up with him!

He’s always suggesting more and more, new ideas for sex… says to keep things interesting. Sometimes I feel like I’m not performing well enough, or I’m not good enough at it because this suggestion makes it feel like he’s bored already.

At the same time he says it’s the best sex he’s ever had?!

I do enjoy his company and he is a nice guy, but I’m not sure if to end it because simply I can’t keep up with this. I am starting to dread having sex with him purely because I know how long it will be, and know I will be sore after. Both 30s if that matters.

I agree with this.

He sounds controlling too. Taking up 3 to 6 hours of your day having sex is a form of control. Having sex when you're sore is awful.

You're sexually incompatible, let this one go.

@exw88have you ever said ‘no’ to him ?

If you dread sex, it sounds as if it’s over.

I agree that his ex would probably say she started to dread it too.

TBH I do think someone who is a long term prospect should never have let things get to that point. He should be more in tune with you, should be paying far more attention to your responses.

Do think through other ways to stand up for yourself in the future. I also think you should invest in lube… though not for his sake to facilitate his obsession, just because it makes everything better.

Even for a new relationship this is way too excessive, it sounds like he has an unhealthy obsession with sex. Wanting to stay in bed all day on a weekend to just have prolonged sex sessions, no thanks.

Urgh. I could not be doing with this.

Sounds like he's masturbating using you instead of his hand.

Next time he comes over say you're feeling sick and don't feel like sex.

You can learn a lot about a man by their reaction when they're told no.

6hrs of sex a day. Jesus, that's like training for the Olympics of something. You must be as fit as fuck (pun intended)

I would also be sore! I’m 2 years into a situationship (long story) and we do have sex 3 times but we only see each other twice a week. It’s also not for hours! Probably total an hour in the day

🤮urgh

If he likes suggestions to keep things interesting can you suggest a 5 minute quickie and then he goes home?

Long sex sessions multiple times a day sounds boring and painful 😣

This has actually happened, I was over at his and I started to feel really ill, was vomiting etc. he was a complete gentleman and looked after me.

I’m not, that’s the problem!

Tell him you’re not a wank sock

That would be way too boring for me, it would take the fun out of it. I’m a 2/3 times a week girl.

Im not surprised his last relationship had barely sex if it would initiate multiple sessions a day. Don’t get me wrong I love having sex with my partner, we see each other a few times a week and it’s great but 3 times in an evening after work??? Hell no!! No matter how good it is that’s bound to get monotonous.
is there any chance he could have a sex addiction? Is he also masturbating a lot when he doesn’t see you?
if he ticks all the boxes in other areas I’d try having a really open and frank conversation and just tell him your burnt out. You do not want to have as much sex, you’d like it to be fun and spontaneous, not a chore. And please don’t feel like you have to do it just because he’s persistent.

Do you not have to go to work? That sounds horrendous.

Fundamentally, he is not respectful or considerate of your needs, and you do not feel comfortable expressing your needs with him, so these are not the signs of a good man or a good relationship.

If he’s this inconsiderate about everything else (housework needing doing, baby needing feeding, kids needing taking into town) it will be a nightmare!

You sound like a people pleaser op. And he’s eroded your boundaries. I understand you’re not not consenting. But it’s hardly enthusiastic.

Six hours of sex daily ... really?

He sounds boring and unhealthily obsessed.

Sounds a bit manipulative, I wouldn’t like that.

Yeah. Telling him "No" will be the proof in the pudding.

If he whines, ignores, dismisses, gets sulky, gets angry, tries to DARVO, or argues in any way, you have your answer.

If he doesn't do any of this, then there might be legs in this relationship.

I would rather sew up my own vagina with a rusty needle than have a 2 hour sex session, let alone multiple in a day. He just sounds….odd.

I would also take his description of his terrible previous relationship sex with a pinch of salt too. I bet what actually happened was they only had sex a perfectly normal amount.

Oh, bloody hell, sex for hours at a time? No wonder you're so fed up. If he hasn't asked about your preferences by now, he's not a keeper. Please leave this man.

I’d end it, would be bored by this

Ive heard about this before. Men who just have to keep doing it. Dump him.