So sad I never met the one..

[BlueRoseRedRose]

I follow someone online and she has the most lovely partner who clearly adores her and worships her. I feel so sad this never happened for me and probably never will now 😔 online dating fills me with dread and the men on there are often said to be the “dregs of society” not my words! But I don’t meet men irl either so would need to look online. I feel too old Now as well to meet someone decent as was reading on another post all the decent men in their 40s will be coupled up. Has anyone ever felt this way then managed to meet someone?

But women your age do meet men and have relationships.

So maybe you need to open yourself up somehow.

or im not interested in them, I did have one man show interest but he couldn’t have been further from my type so i didnt go there and not as “desperate” as people think I am.

Yes the ones I know who have it has been online not in real life, most people meet online now a days, maybe some just have better luck.

I’m not really sure what you want from this thread. People are trying to help and probably say the same things we would say to a friend, but honestly you’re being quite rude to people.

The fact that you said you find being single boring is really sad or that you seem to think it’s necessary to have a relationship when you’re old. What if you’re married for 30 years and your husband dies before you? It happens all the time - it’s unhealthy to depend on someone else for your happiness and to keep you entertained or stop you feeling lonely.

Of course it’s nice to have someone to do things with and it’s also nice when you have a good partner by your side who you can be a proper team with but the joy and excitement you have in life shouldn’t be dependent on being in a relationship.

I do stand by my original point that I think you’re romanticising relationships a bit and seem to think that’s the key to happiness. I’m now single by choice after my last failed relationship of 7 years and I’ve never been happier or felt more content in my life.

I might meet someone in the future, I might not, but in the meantime I’m just going to enjoy my life and not worry about the future because things rarely turn out as we plan, anyway.

I haven’t been rude at all and I think you will find they eye rolled me first but I guess that isnt rude? so they got the same back. I have explained multiple times men do not approach me in real life im not sure why im being challenged on that, it doesn't happen anymore, the end.

And ive had lots of nice comments from people that can relate, if you eye roll someone expect it back

I didn’t see anyone challenging you on it. I did see some people say that maybe it’s your attitude and the way you come off that stops men approaching you.

I obviously don’t know you so can’t say if that’s true or not, but if you’re anything like the way you are on this thread in real life, then they may have a point and it’s something to consider.

Also, why do they have to approach you? Can you not approach them? Can you find some hobbies where you’d be around men with similar interests to you? You seem very negative and just keep moaning that men don’t approach you.

You're being challenged on it because :
a. you said you never meet anyone new so how would you know?
b. it may be your experience, but other people's varies from that and it might be worth figuring out if there's something you could do to change that. Like I said, my mate is a social machine 😂 and chats away to everyone she meets, which leads to friendships - and romance. She's in her 50s.

'you need to put the effort in " christ, another one!

Theres not a chance in hell I would be approaching a man on the streets or in a shop 😆🤣 now that is what I call desperate. Was just Pointing out that it use to happen to me a LOT every time I left the house in my 20s men would come up to me and ask for my number. That doesn’t happen now as explained. No chance am i doing it and I didn’t ask men to do it they just did. I don’t mind that they don’t do it anymore either at least it means I can shop or just walk down the street in peace without being approached!

I don't think anyone has suggested you approach a random man on the streets. 😂

I wouldn’t approach a man anywhere 🙂 thats giving off desperate vibes imo. Which is why most people prefer online now I guess so I will give that another chance. (To clarify i mean making the first move to let someone know im interested in them) before it gets twisted 🤣 of course I speak to men in general day to day life but no one that has took my fancy or im interested in romantically.

I think you'll be alright, mainly because you're not desperate to meet someone, just do a lot of chatting until something feels right, you'll easily be able to spot the pushy desperate types if you play the long game. The fact that you say you used to get a lot of attention when you where in your 20's suggests you are attractive and in my experience women don't get less attractive as they get older, they get more attractive due to the added maturity.

It's not "approaching" blokes I'm talking about - it's being friendly and open and meeting people generally. It's making friends and widening your social net.

I get you OP.

"Oh why don't you just be happy single, it's great" - posters who haven't been single since 1999

Most men in their late 30s and 40s that want to be in relationships are in one, or are looking to find a 20s age child free woman, it's true. There's no point denying this. Couple this with many men being unsuitable to date due to being criminals etc, and many men not wanting a LTR at all (fair enough), it's not easy to find someone in your (also my) situation.

But it only takes one.

I'm in a similar situation, I'm 40. I did meet someone, sort of. I'm dating a man from an app. He's nice, however he's my 37 and wants children in the future. I guess he's planning to break up with me later and find a younger woman.

I suppose if I had to come up with some ways to be positive for us, it could be

• we've had dated and had relationships, so we've had the experience even if it didn't work out long term
• we've got children, some people don't get this
• since we aren't looking to have more kids, we don't have to restrict dating to suitable potential fathers or be on a time schedule

I have been married twice and have a child but I've never felt like I have been loved and cared for. It was always a massive compromise (especially on my part) and I was always made to feel I'm ok and desirable but not that special. I've never felt like I've met "the one" and never experiences mutual love where you are happy and relaxed with each other and dont feel.on edge. And never will, now I'm in mid 50s, unattractive and very cynical.

However, I feel very happy on my own. It's been close to 12 years single and I never felt so alive. And looking around, I do see happy couples but I would never swap my life for theirs as it's never plain sailing... there is always a "but".

Be careful what you wishing. You might meet someone and then regret it!

I’m in my 30s so don’t want to spend the rest of my life alone. It’s a lonely thought!

Crikey, I thought you were a decade older than that.

You have loads of time to meet someone! Stop being so negative.

I’ve said my age multiple times throughout the thread. And this is specifically after reading many posts about how awful dating is in your 40s and 50s and how undesirable single men are in that age bracket!

I don't think you have given your age multiple times but I guess I missed it somewhere then 😂.

I suppose all the talk about 40s and 50s made me think you were actually in that age bracket. 😂

I am 39 in October so practically 🙄

My post
BlueRoseRedRose · 09/08/2026 12:12
LittleMonks11 · 09/08/2026 12:01
How old are you OP?
38

there you go!

Have you signed up for a Salsa class / club?

You need to get yourself out there. There's no point sitting at home feeling blue.

I’ve signed back up to online dating