So sad I never met the one..

[BlueRoseRedRose]

I follow someone online and she has the most lovely partner who clearly adores her and worships her. I feel so sad this never happened for me and probably never will now 😔 online dating fills me with dread and the men on there are often said to be the “dregs of society” not my words! But I don’t meet men irl either so would need to look online. I feel too old Now as well to meet someone decent as was reading on another post all the decent men in their 40s will be coupled up. Has anyone ever felt this way then managed to meet someone?

Seems both options are going younger though? I’d prefer a man around my own age, 1 I don’t want anymore kids, 2 i dont want to deal with younger kids now mine are teens so a younger man is likely to want his own kids or have young kids and 3 I just prefer older men than myself.

I can't speak for every 'older man' but we don't all want 20 year olds, once you reach a certain age it's just pervy to look at girls under a certain age, i think if you're a 45 year old man you probably should be thinking that anyone younger than 30/35 is a bit wrong...just my opinion, i mean what is a 45 year old man really going to have in common with a 20 year old for a start...

For the record being a mum makes no difference to me and i'm sure it wouldn't for many others so don't let that stop you from going out there and finding your mr right...if you don't put your rod out you can't catch a fish, so to speak.

I don't see why. The "one" is a bit of a silly concept, I think, there's a range of compatible people out there.

Lots of marriages and long term relationships split up in their late 30s and 40s after waking up and thinking "fuck is this my life?!" so those people go back in circulation. Midlife crisis being a thing.

There was a year in my social circle where a lot of long-term couples broke up, it was like dominoes 😂 They're all in new relationships now, except for one of the men.

And I don't think any of the men went 10 or 20 years younger with new partners. My ex ended up with someone older than me.

And crikey, my mum has a gentleman caller at 70-odd. So you're never too old.

@OMGDidYouSayThat I don't wish to de-rail the thread for the OP and I agree with you to an extent but I think the relevance of any 'age gap' depends on the people.

When I was 25 years old I had just started a relationship with someone who was 'older'; a very healthy, long-term serious relationship. We just had that instant connection that sometimes happens and it evolved from there.

I commented on this thread at the start that the OP needs to socialise more and interact with different people - and I hope she does - that is the way forward along with a positive mindset.

@category12 - Exactly - as you said people "go back in circulation" for many reasons whether that be a relationship breakdown, bereavement or realisation that they want a long-term relationship.

OP, no-one should be 'written-off'. The focus should be on 'compatibility'.

I don’t think people understand what I mean and thats fine, im 40 im half way through life, I mean I wish I had been lucky and met someone when I was 20 or whatever not starting at 40 when half my life has passed

Yeah i agree with you on that, also that getting out there and socialising with a positive hat on is the best way forward.

But what about the other half @BlueRoseRedRose half a life is a long time to sit back and be regretful. Try not to be so negative, i'm sure you have a lot going for you.

Im not but I feel im allowed to mourn

Absolutely, no one can tell you what to do, it's your choice, all i will say is that when you've finished mourning, your future happiness is something only you can change, nothing changes if nothing changes.

I 100% agree with this. The poster you replied to was being ridiculous. And I say that as a 30 year old woman.

Yes you are.

I can sympathise with you OP. I’m divorced, older than you and my kids are growing up, the oldest is 18. I have had a few relationships but no-one that I’ve felt was anywhere near ‘the one’. I do get down when I know so many people who have great husbands that are caring and kind and romantic. I would love to meet someone that is considerate and loving but the majority of men on the online dating sites are grim (in my experience). Personally I’m not bothered about men my age that want to be with younger woman because I’m looking for someone not like that anyway!

My husband IS my best friend.

but he is also a romantic partner im guessing??

You've missed the point.

I was responding to a poster who said to find platonic friendships instead, a husband Isnt platonic so whilst he may be a best friend it’s still a romantic relationship and im responding to not to
look for romantic relationships

Sorry I replied to the wrong person op! I understand destiny totalling where you're coming from.