Boyfriend wants money just to talk to him

[Belle270]

My boyfriend is in debt and seriously depressed. He has now told me unless I can give him the money he owes he won’t be able to talk to me as he’s not in a situation to be able to talk to anyone unless he solves his problems. He actually told me to block him and not speak to him unless I can get him the money. I’m so hurt, shocked and feel so used. I haven’t given him any money but I can’t believe he says he loves me and says he will only talk to me or be with me if I clear his debt. Any advice would be appreciated thanks

I think people in relationships often do help each other out but those would be different scenarios entirely. This man is being a nasty piece of work. His family may not tell you if he’s already borrowed from them or others or if there is anything else behind his business failing etc. Asking you to get money from your dad and lie to him about what it’s for is awful. My BIL was borrowing money from my DH, he knew he would never be able to pay it back, he was also borrowing from others who didn’t know about the all the other debts. In the end he was just borrowing from Peter to pay Paul and wasn’t actually covering any family costs anymore. He also clearly felt he could take substantially more from DH than anyone else. He may feel the same about you.

It's very telling that his family won't help him. I suspect they have been here before, more than once.

"Before he blocked me he said he would never be with someone who didn’t love him or help him when he needed it so he will be with someone who will help him and send me photos that will make me cry my eyes out (not sure what that means)"

It is good that you have blocked him because you don't need to respond to this, and the only response this sort of nonsense deserves is "oh do fuck off with this manipulative bollocks".

He sounds a complete baby and you are well rid.

Thankfully you dont live in the same country as him so you won't even bump into him. Absolute tosspot. Bet you are not the only woman he has done this to.

You have no idea what to make of his words?

Good riddance to bad rubbish, that's what you need to make of it. Don't give him any more room in your head, and keep him thoroughly blocked.

Not in the same country? Where did OP say that? I must have missed it.

The rubbish took itself out. You are well rid of this creature.

Her previous post about him apologies I see that info is not on this one.

You are supposed to be terrified of losing him, horrified by the thought of him with another woman and ready to beg his forgiveness and hand over your cash when he unblocks you to give you a second chance to provide for him.

Good riddance, do not contact him or unblock him.

Yeah, well - stuff that for a game of soldiers.

He will show you how much money he has?!

Where is it coming from?!

The women he’s going to scam apparently.

Actually you should name and bloody shame him on your social media as he has blatently told you he is about to scam some poor woman.

Don’t give him money!

He’s unreal OP. No way back. He’s unstable and also has a vindictive streak. Sod that. Keep him blocked (don’t even check) and concentrate on treating yourself with extra kindness. Know you’ll be up and down but you’ve 100% dodged a bullet here. Hate to break it to him (via the universe!) there’s not a queue of women waiting to get with an unstable, broke, indebted, manipulative former businessman! He’s delusional. What exactly does he bring to the party!?
Wouldn’t hold my breath for the montage of idyllic new relationship from him either, sure in the highly unlikely event he ever does send you such a pic hoping you’ll have the good sense to think that poor poor woman…

He's blocked you for so many obvious reasons. Just forget him.

He is certainly behaving very oddly.
I often think on this forum that here’s another woman fretting about WHY he is like that. How much help should she provide. Constantly analysing their partner. Meanwhile the man has not given one minute of thought to her and her needs and her feelings.

Typical that his vindictive responses are all about how he can claw back his self esteem and punish you. You were never important. He has even said hello immediately replace you with a better female who will just give him what he wants. (Yeah good luck mate)

I’m sorry you wasted so much time on this one.

In agreement with you! I’d just like to say to some of the women thinking the responses on here are harsh, it’s not like she merely caught him being irresponsible with money. He has threatened, insulted and all but told her he can do better. If the roles were reversed and this was a woman who told a guy if he couldn’t pay her debt off she couldn’t talk to him- she’d be labelled a gold-digger. If it was a woman who said she could find another man to give her the money and not only that, but that she would send him pictures that would drive him mad- we’d all he saying she was a mad vindictive bi##h and a cheap ho! But it’s a guy, so he must be suffering mental illness. I think some women underestimate how bi##hy* *men can be. All you need to look at is how some men do a complete 360 during divorce proceedings and want to annihilate the woman “they once loved”. It’s clear to me anyway that this guy already checked out of the relationship and is so nasty, envious and resentful that he has no qualms using her and reducing her to her lowest on his way out.He clearly already has other women (that he knows he can send nasty pictures of him with back to OP) lined up- but time will tell if they are the bank machine he thought them to be. Or if they will get tired of his BS faster than OP has (I hope).

And… if by any small chance he is having a mental health crisis. OP doesnt have to sacrifice herself at that altar and have her self confidence and worth eroded to save him. Mental health is in decline for a lot of people particularly due to the times we live in. I have known 3 people up close who have had this snap, and it is far from pretty, even when you are trying to be helpful and supportive. All 3 have verbally attacked numerous people with extremely hurtful things. Things they’d obviously been harbouring for a while and never had the gall to utter previously. You have to be pretty immune to the punches (no one is) or perhaps direct them to family (who sometimes can’t handle the attacks either) and the professionals.

I have a feeling this isn’t what this is though. This is just a Man- B showing his true colours. Even when it is out of the ordinary- people appear to change or perhaps they just don’t care anymore if you see them 360!

What a dick.
Keep him blocked - he is being very emotionally manipulative. He wants to hurt you if you don't do exactly what he wants. This is very good that you have discovered this pre-marriage. It will be hard for a few weeks, but surround yourself with people that make you feel good. See your friends, join a community class like yoga or something, take yourself on day trips to interesting places, learn a new skill, reorganise your furniture. Essentially, put as many good experiences in your life as you can for the next few months and you will feel like a different person with so much more perspective and strength by the end of the summer.

This…