Boyfriend wants money just to talk to him

[Belle270]

My boyfriend is in debt and seriously depressed. He has now told me unless I can give him the money he owes he won’t be able to talk to me as he’s not in a situation to be able to talk to anyone unless he solves his problems. He actually told me to block him and not speak to him unless I can get him the money. I’m so hurt, shocked and feel so used. I haven’t given him any money but I can’t believe he says he loves me and says he will only talk to me or be with me if I clear his debt. Any advice would be appreciated thanks

You posted about him recently didnt you? He also said some weeks ago he would get money off other women? Either way he doesnt care about anyone but himself and is a horribly sleazy underhanded excuse of a man. Just block him and be done with it. Vile worm.

This latest comment of him contacting other women and getting money off them sounds really shady - is he planning to con them? Romance scam type of thing? It's also blackmailing you - "if you loved me you'd get the money for me, otherwise I'm going to find other women".

It's horrible, OP. I get you are reluctant to wipe out a long term relationship, and I get that it sounds like he's on the verge of a mental breakdown and needs help, but this is messy, it's manipulative, and with money at the very root of it, it's not a relationship I'd want to continue. I can't see a way back from this -

But even if he does apologise it will be worthless. Just words, he won't really mean it.
You do realise that he doesn't love you, right? No matter what he says. Because he is so selfish he is incapable of love. He only loves himself.
He might have loved what you do for him, all the support you gave, but he never loved you.

He'll be trying every trick he knows. Don't give in.

@Belle270 "Any tips on how to stop myself from talking to him again and forgetting him? It’s so hard"

Yes I have. Just sit still for a minute and imagine the miserable, desperate fucking existence you'll have if you shackle yourself to him. It will be one drama after another, with you paying for the privilege. Then ask yourself if that's what you or your family think you deserve for the rest of your life.

You need to break up with him this relationship will not go anywhere good, from mine and countless other women experience if you save him financially he will hate you for it and take it out on you. He’ll also think ‘if I can get this woman broke I wonder how fit a woman I can get when I’m back on my feet.’

He asked you to lie to your dad to get money to give him. He tried to extort you to talk to him.

Think of that every time you want to call this scumbag. He would take your money, and your dad's money while telling you to lie to your dad.

That was all manipulation and now he's acting like it didn't happen. He's working out a new angle.

Block him.

And then said he could get money off other women. I wonder if the posters defending him have an opinion on that.

Yes, that's because it didnt work. Hes now seeing if you are daft enough to go along with pretending it never happened so he can try something else later.

What happened about all the 'other women'? Did they turn him down? He probably realised you are his best bet. Don't be fooled.

Totally agree with this

Yes exactly totally agree, thank you

Send him a message along the lines of:

If you have debt problems then you're better off speaking to CAB. However you have treated me appallingly and I ni longer wish to be in a relationship with you. You can collect your stuff on Thursday.

He has now messaged me saying fuck you to me as I’ve ignored him. I just can’t process his mindset at all. No apology or explanation and he expected me not to leave. Unbelievable

Tempting to reply "Urgh, no thanks. How much would that cost me?!"

He expected you to be manipulated, that’s all - now he’s pissed off because you wouldn’t go along with it. These are his true colours you’re seeing.

Exactly this!

God that’s shocking he’s tried to blackmail you into giving him money, even asked you to ask your father and lie to him , threatened you with other women and now giving it fuck uou as you want giv him cash.

block him. Stop telling upufself he’s mentally ill. He’s showing you who he is, deep down.

By the sound of it all you have to do to stop talking to him is not give him any money. Please don’t and find someone worthy of you.

I hope he doesn’t have any compromising images of you, OP.

You have to protect yourself here. He's outrageous. What the fuck is wrong with him.

I know it's hard but you have to cut contact. He's not the person you thought he was

That sounds like drugs. How did he lose his business?

This is just him trying to figure what angle will get a response and money. It's time to block him. You know now he's a lying grifter who wants your money or your family's money.

Your fiance didn't have the nerve to ask your dad himself, he wanted you to deceive your dad and say it was for you. He wants to look like a good guy to your dad, but he would suck up your dad's money as well as yours if you agreed. It doesn't matter what reason is behind this behaviour, it doesn't pass the smell test. His motivations are financial. Remember that.

Actually, this sounds like a possibility, especially as his behaviour seems out of character.

Very good point, no one panics to this extent over business debt.