Page 35 | There We Are Then - part 2

tooomanytortillas · 31/07/2026 11:32

I know you’re too poorly for this today so I will rage on your behalf 😡….speedy recovery @mummy917

Dancingintherain09 · 31/07/2026 11:32

Dancingintherain09 · 31/07/2026 10:26

Just keep a note of it for if you go to mediation. I encouraged my daughter to keep an online diary to which she can add screen shots to.

So you have an accurate dossier to hand over.

When I said online I actually meant on your computer (I hadn't had my coffee).
My daughter created a word document with screen shots added in. So a blow by blow account of everything that happens. The small details are key.

WonderingAndOverthinking · 31/07/2026 11:48

What a knob. Regardless of whether you were going to work or not, he has ABSOLUTELY no right to know where you are on your time. Vice versa.

lessglittermoremud · 31/07/2026 11:53

TheresMillionsOfGeoffreys · 31/07/2026 11:25

it will be that he is distressing the children bringing them back at a time unagreed and allowing them to think you have forgotten etc.

Absolutely this, from @Freeyourmind
It's not (only) about the adults' inconvenience but about the kids being lied to or misled.

Edited

Exactly, what if the op hadn’t been there, they’ll think she’s forgotten them.
Last time she explained Daddy must have forgotten the time, she can’t keep saying that especially as she has no idea what he is saying about her not being there…
He’s being totally manipulative ☹️

Mix56 · 31/07/2026 11:56

He has worked out his hours at 50/50, if he officially brings them back st 10am, but in reality at 7am, & then does it at all other occasions he will actually be doing it to INTENTIONALLY scam you out if CMS.
He doesn't care about what you want
(plus he is taking his female? colleague to work)
Make sure you have your paper trail.
“I would not have been home, when you once again bought the DC home early at 7.40, had I not been throwing up all night.
In future whether at work or not. The return time is 10 am.”

Please do not suggest the kids call their father, if not initiated by them, on your holiday
.

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 31/07/2026 12:05

Mix56 · 31/07/2026 11:56

He has worked out his hours at 50/50, if he officially brings them back st 10am, but in reality at 7am, & then does it at all other occasions he will actually be doing it to INTENTIONALLY scam you out if CMS.
He doesn't care about what you want
(plus he is taking his female? colleague to work)
Make sure you have your paper trail.
“I would not have been home, when you once again bought the DC home early at 7.40, had I not been throwing up all night.
In future whether at work or not. The return time is 10 am.”

Please do not suggest the kids call their father, if not initiated by them, on your holiday
.

Edited

This all day long

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 31/07/2026 13:20

FloofyKat · 31/07/2026 10:15

He’s a pathetic specimen.

When you are feeling better, I would email him along the lines of …

I must remind you of our agreement regarding pick up / drop of children. We agreed that handover on Fridays would be at 10am. Yet again you tried to ignore this, turning up today at 7.40am. This is Xth time since the formal handover arrangements began that you have sought to ignore them. In future, please respect the agreement we made.

Good call.

Try not to let this wind you up OP, wishing you a speedy recovery and a lovely week with your little ones.

MsPrufrockk · 31/07/2026 13:25

mummy917 · 31/07/2026 09:37

Because I was at home, not at work like I had planned, he said “I knew you weren’t actually going to work.” I had every intention of going to collect my new uniform until I started with this bug too.

I could hear the kids knocking on the door too and how excited they were to be home so I couldn’t ignore it. I don’t have the energy today to even mention it to him that he should’ve been here at 10.

Be careful, as soon as he sees a chink in your boundaries he'll keep pushing and pushing. The kids would have been fine with him for another couple of hours if you hadn't answered the door.

BIWI · 31/07/2026 13:36

Indeed. Anyone with any ounce of normality and consideration for their children would have said something like 'silly Daddy's got the time wrong today - let's go to the park/for a walk/to the swings (or whatever) until Mummy gets home'.

Original poster

mummy917 · 31/07/2026 14:11

I will be sending him a message reminding him of the agreement of 10am and his reasons for wanting that time too. I was actually still asleep when he started knocking on the door but we’re only a few hours from bedtime and I honestly can’t wait for an early night.

OP posts:

likeafishneedsabike · 31/07/2026 14:26

Well, it’s not a problem to be tackled today with you in this state @mummy917.
Get to bedtime, survive this bug and then put it in writing, as you mention. No need to mention vomiting or uniforms or any other details. Just a reiteration that the arrangement is 10am for the reasons agreed. Any changes in custody arrangements to be discussed at mediation.

likeafishneedsabike · 31/07/2026 14:29

He wants to make a liar of you, but the whole matter of at work, not at work is absolutely irrelevant. It is HIS time with the kids so your whereabouts are of absolutely no importance. Just as his whereabouts is irrelevant when you have the children. Your location and availability are only relevant when your responsibility for the children begins.

ItsOkItsDarkChocolate · 31/07/2026 14:41

Freeyourmind · 31/07/2026 10:08

I agree to bide your time, for someone who is off living his new shiny life that he wanted, he seems to be a very angry man. I'm sure he's already realising the grass isn't greener.

Of course your argument at mediation won't be he's not sticking to the times agreed as such, it will be that he is distressing the children bringing them back at a time unagreed and allowing them to think you have forgotten etc. This is abusive not just to you but particularly to the children, the mediators in my experience were less concerned about impact on me, and only concerned about impact on the children. You therefore are unable to go about your life in case he does bring them back - it's simple control. He's lost control of you now and doesn't like it.

You're doing amazingly well, wishing you a speedy recovery.

@mummy917

This.

And he says you’re controlling!!

Get well very soon and enjoy your holiday!

Pessismistic · 31/07/2026 14:41

mummy917 · 31/07/2026 14:11

I will be sending him a message reminding him of the agreement of 10am and his reasons for wanting that time too. I was actually still asleep when he started knocking on the door but we’re only a few hours from bedtime and I honestly can’t wait for an early night.

Hi op I would leave it until you’re well enough sorry you caught this bug hopefully you will all be clear before your holiday. I hope you can still have your holiday. He really likes to push boundaries he still controlling you even after doing everything he wants. When your well just say hey dickhead you need to remember it’s 10.00 drop off I was in bed sick and could have had an extra couple of hours but because your a selfish man you did what you wanted as always. So from now on if you drop off early even if I’m home I drop kids off the same amount of time earlier to you. I’m not telling you my plans it’s nothing to do with you but try it again and you will be standing there like the twat you are and will have to drive home remember 50/50 was your choice so do the right thing by your kids you fucking arsehole.

GilmoreGirly86 · 31/07/2026 14:57

I'd love to say I can't believe he turned up so early with them again but I absolutely can, it just disgusts me. One because he can't seem to wait to end his time with the children as soon as possible which is just so sad but two because what was his plan if you HAD been at work, like you were supposed to be? What would he have said to the children? They would have been so sad and disappointed that Mummy wasn't there but you weren't supposed to be. His mind games with such young children is disgusting and heartbreaking. And how dare he say that he knew you weren't really going to be at work?! How dare he accuse you of that. Projecting much?!

LittleBowSheep · 31/07/2026 15:12

No-one is in the least bit surprised that he brought the kids home early. What gets me is that he's quite prepared to have the kids up, dressed, fed(?) and out of the house so early in the morning just to get one over on you.

If you hadn't been at home because of your sickness he would have had to entertain the kids for another 2 hours and would probably have told them that you had promised you would be there (and thereby suggesting to them that you don't care) and have let them down. He is using the kids as pawns.

What an odious little piece of shit he is. Hope you're feeling better soon.

Ihaveneedofwaternear · 31/07/2026 15:27

Maybe in your message reminding him handover is 10am get it down in writing that you're concerned about the impact on the kids if he keeps dropping them off early and you are not home.

Dalesway · 31/07/2026 15:40

Ihaveneedofwaternear · 31/07/2026 15:27

Maybe in your message reminding him handover is 10am get it down in writing that you're concerned about the impact on the kids if he keeps dropping them off early and you are not home.

Absolutely this. It could be quite scary or unsettling for little kids to come home to their mum not being there if you'd gone to work as planned (or even out for breakfast or shopping for their return). You don't know how twattoo would frame that to them either.

Something to think more about when you feel better.

Original poster

mummy917 · 31/07/2026 17:21

I’ve already told him about the way it will make the kids think and feel if he brings them home early and I’m not there because we agreed on 10am. My eldest knows it’s supposed to be 10am and said his dad had said he needed his car in the garage. I have pulled myself round from this morning and feel better than I did, so I’m taking the kids to my eldest’s cricket practice tonight.

OP posts:

Daisymail · 31/07/2026 17:41

Agree not a battle when you are unwell but do send that text asap.

It beggars belief that he has yet again ignored you and turned up at your door hours earlier than agreed. His arrogance is off the scale. You cannot allow this to continue and must stop giving reasons / justifying your time, it is absolutely none of his business.

Remind him the agreement is 10am and today was the last time. Hit his weak spot, he absolutely does not want to part with any of "his" money so tell him that going forward, you will report anything less than 50:50 to your solicitor and CMS. Who cares if he kicks off, he can't do anything, he's in the wrong for not adhering to your agreement.

Hope you feel better soon and all of you have a lovely holiday.

PinkEasterbunny · 31/07/2026 17:45

This reply has been hidden

This reply has been hidden until the MNHQ team can have a look at it.

PinkEasterbunny · 31/07/2026 17:47

OMG I have just posted something quite benign, and MN have hidden it??

TheSassyPinkJoker · 31/07/2026 17:50

Wishing the toerag a very nasty long lasting vomiting bug

PinkEasterbunny · 31/07/2026 18:00

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PinkEasterbunny · 31/07/2026 18:01

WTF is going on with my posts? Sorry, OP