Husband still in bed at 12.40 on first day of our family holiday.

[Rubyreindeer]

Am I being unreasonable. My husband and I, with our four year old are on holiday. Arrived late last night. My husband watched the England match which was midnight our time and finished at 3.30am. No problem with that at all. However, he then stayed up to watch the later match, came to bed at 6.45am and is still in bed at 12.40pm! I’m so cross. This is meant to be our family holiday. We are coming back from a week where he left, and are both meant to be making an effort, and he does this on our first day.

Am I being unreasonable and should expect him to make an effort to be up and with me and our son on the first day of our holiday.

Not unreasonable at all. Is he normally this selfish?

It is his holiday too and for him, football is part of that. I'd give him today but then leave him with the dcs while you go for an early morning walk tomorrow.

It’s his holiday too and he enjoyed himself watching football. Chill out, you’re being unfair.

Fucking hell - there’s more football on Wednesday- why don’t you just let the big guy chill.
despite the fact you’re working on saving your relationship etc
you should defo be doing all the work on this while his lordship is at rest.

honestly - if this is him making an effort - he’d be a no from me.

Agree with this. If you give him a bit of leeway today then hopefully he'll repay the favour in goodwill if nothing else.

Just take yourself off to do something alone when he wakes up.

YANBU
I get the world cup issue but h didn't need to stay up til 7am. Not acceptable.

How does that help them have a nice family holiday??

Compromise

He's not BU to have ONE morning off, as long as it's your turn to have time off at some point, and that he is on hand the rest of the time.

What's the point of being a couple if you both have to be up early?

Be together when you have something planned and somewhere to go to, but otherwise? chill, it's a holiday.

What do you mean 'a week where he left'. A week where he left you? If so this seems to be about more than a single lie-in...

Assume you are up and at the pool with your son? I would assume he will be up soonish and hope it was a one off if he doesn’t have form for this kind of behaviour.

Because a “nice family holiday” doesn’t have to involve being together 24/7…

Bad start to the holiday for you OP and I can understand why you are upset.

I'm certainly not one of these many people who seemto think atm that football takes prescedence over everything . But I do think you would be best to find stuff to do without him today and enjoy yourself as best you can for your DS's sake.

But expect him to put you and his DS first and foremost for the rest of the holiday. If he doesn't then you will know where you stand as regards your relationship with him.

Think it depends on the whole vibe. Mine likes to watch his fave sport at silly hours but will let me know and say 'sorry i wont be much use that day' so its a bit more respectful. I get that the men's world cup is a biggie for real men's football fans.

But OP clearly thinks it does mean you spend 24/7 together otherwise this wouldn’t be an issue

Well maybe she could see it as a chance to get some time to herself while her DH gets some quality time with their son?

Wake him up. He’s had enough sleep and has done his solo activity.

I think this depends on if it’s intention for the whole week, or just this morning.

I need more sleep than my partner, and love the first day of a holiday being a re-set, a chance to have a proper lay in that doesn’t exist during the working week and weekends are so busy. Having that means I can enjoy the holiday because I’ve rested and eased into it, I compromise and do the 6am starts my partner enjoys other days of the holiday.

I know he doesn’t love it, and has a moral judgement on it - but I’m clear about needing it and being a much nicer person to be around once it’s happened.

What was the circumstances of the lead up to coming away on the holiday? Besides the football. A late flight, does he work a lot? Does he sleep in on weekends? Does he do his share of running the house/kids?

I'd let this go but I'd be hoping he'd join in the rest of the week.

We are coming back from a week where he left, and are both meant to be making an effort, and he does this on our first day.
Does that mean he left you, as in separating / ending your marriage? If so and you'd agreed you would both make an effort on this holiday, then I think staying up all night to watch football was stupid or his way of telling you his priorities. He is either such a fuckwit that he doesn't realise working on his marriage starts immediately and not after the World Cup. Or he is letting you know he doesn't really want to make an effort at all.

Even if I misunderstood, I don't really understand the other posters saying it's his holiday too and he is entitled to stay up all night and in bed all morning if he wants to, unless that had been agreed before the holiday was booked. It could be said that having done that OP could also stay in bed all morning or go off somewhere and leave him with their child one morning. But for most people family holidays are about spending time together, not carving out bits of me time away from their child.

There's a vast gulf between 'being together 24/7' and 'spending two consecutive days alone because your husband stayed up til 7am and slept all day so you went out on your own to punish him the following day'

Who said anything about a punishment?

Adults can and should have time alone to do their own thing - he chose to watch football, so OP should take the same amount of time to do something she wants.

if he’s asleep and just not woken up then he doesn’t know the time? Is he doing it on purpose or is he just asleep? can you swap tomorrow and have a lovely lazy morning?

She could also see as she could have some quality time with her son whilst her DH gets some sleep

meh - it's his holiday too.
But i need more info: does he always do this? are you a SAHM? what is your usual set-up?