Husband still in bed at 12.40 on first day of our family holiday.

[Rubyreindeer]

Am I being unreasonable. My husband and I, with our four year old are on holiday. Arrived late last night. My husband watched the England match which was midnight our time and finished at 3.30am. No problem with that at all. However, he then stayed up to watch the later match, came to bed at 6.45am and is still in bed at 12.40pm! I’m so cross. This is meant to be our family holiday. We are coming back from a week where he left, and are both meant to be making an effort, and he does this on our first day.

Am I being unreasonable and should expect him to make an effort to be up and with me and our son on the first day of our holiday.

I totally agree with you. Even if he wasn’t in the bar watching it it’s hardly a good effort on the first day of a make or break holiday 😢

It is his holiday too. I would go for a walk and let him have today but be up earlier and engaged with you for the rest of your week.

Exactly.
Behind every woman apparently being a "martyr" is a lazy-arsed bloke doing pretty much f**k all!

I would think about making the separation permanent. At 4 years old, your DS is young enough to cope with parents who live apart and will adjust fairly quickly.

@Naunet @cloudtreecarpet My response was to the poster wildly speculating that the dh would definitely not give the Op any time off on the holiday.

As a one off this wouldn't bother me. I'd just take my child to the pool and get on with the day. Maybe you can have a lie in tomorrow?

There is no vote on this but yes, YABU.

Well he slept the whole flight, stayed up till 7am watching TV and then slept till 2 on the first day of their reconciliation family holiday, but I look forward to hearing about what a thoughtful chap he is if OP returns. Hopefully she can use her 7 hours solo at the spa to update us!

I honestly think that the family holiday should have been timed better.
Many people want to be out watching the matches, the atmosphere is incredible, especially abroad in heavy tourist areas. The mistake was taking a family holiday during the World Cup. Obviously that can't be undone now but it was a strange choice.

OMG

Yes, I'm sure he's going to be doing his fair share as the holiday rolls on and this will be a mere selfish arse blip...

Let's see - as you say, the OP will no doubt have plenty of free time to let us know.

Oh and she says she does all the housework at home. So that bodies really well for his diligence. It's not unreasonable to take a load of data points and infer logical and likely future behaviours from them. It is unreasonable to therefore infer he's going to suddenly completely change his tune. I would be delighted for the OP if he does though.

An early morning walk?! I think you mean she has her lie in

No what that actually means is get up early, sort the kids out first thing then pop off for a walk while DH "babysits" them for a bit - probably with devices or a screen of some sort. 🙄

Seriously, the comments on here are unbelievable!

That's all a bit tit for that isn't it.

What the op wants is to have a nice time doing things together as a family

Which is the point of a family holiday in the first place!
Who goes on holiday with their family to spend time apart?
But the male apologists on here are determined to make it seem like the OP is the unreasonable one.

And in reply to some of the comments, yes he left myself and son for a week, as in we separated, so we were trying to use this as a reconciliation.

In that case @Rubyreindeer he's not taking it seriously, is he! How has he been for the rest of the day?

"wildly speculating"

Yeah no. I think the many PPs here suspecting this guy is the standard run-of-the-mill lazy selfish self-absorbed male piss-taker are right on the money.

He\s already had a yellow card against him, he seems so entitled that OP will be forced to give him a red card.

To all the male apologists on this thread: the bar for male behaviour is clearly still so low, it is in HELL.

Yes, OP, he got you back and is reverting to his usual self. You have bigger issues and the lie-in is telling you that.

You're both working similar amounts but you do most/all the shared housework and childcare? After a split he couldn't make the effort to prioritise you guys for a single week's holiday. Move on with life - he is showing you who he is and always will be.

He’s utterly selfish. I assume he didn’t discuss the expectation that he would sleep while you did the day with your DC.

The World Cup is a horrible time to do a family holiday. I know a couple who had their honeymoon in the last World Cup and they were broken up by the time they returned as he just wanted to watch it.

Totally unacceptable IMO. My ex husband was footy mad, no problem with it but when he put it before anything else time to walk away. He used to spend every Sat in pub go to match go back to pub. He was happy for Mr to have the Sunday, knowing I wouldn't as we both worked full-time and wouldn't have had any time together. Selfish prick. Was So much happier without him.

Agree point scoring is rarely a factor in successful marriages

Im sure you can do better.

Presume he’s a god in bed otherwise I can’t see any reason why you would want to reconcile with this lazy arse. With your next partner share the grunt work from the beginning, it’s not a woman’s job to do all the housework.