Husband still in bed at 12.40 on first day of our family holiday.

[Rubyreindeer]

Am I being unreasonable. My husband and I, with our four year old are on holiday. Arrived late last night. My husband watched the England match which was midnight our time and finished at 3.30am. No problem with that at all. However, he then stayed up to watch the later match, came to bed at 6.45am and is still in bed at 12.40pm! I’m so cross. This is meant to be our family holiday. We are coming back from a week where he left, and are both meant to be making an effort, and he does this on our first day.

Am I being unreasonable and should expect him to make an effort to be up and with me and our son on the first day of our holiday.

I think that says a lot more about you than anything else. He was watching the football. OPs post is about whether that is unreasonable or not. Where are you getting the idea he's on drugs from? 😂

ppl always chime in on these sort of threads with 'why don't you just communicate with him'

I can only assume those people have never been in this sort of relationship

ie. where you can communicate all you want- but not ever be heard

I have, Op. it's horrible. I'm so sorry. I'd see how it goes the rest of the week and, if it keeps going tits up, make your plans

Does he behave as someone who has a child and tool them on holidays?

This kind of thing is fine if fair and agreed in advance. But if he just decided to lie in and assumed that the OP would look after the kids, that would annoy the hell out of me.

Haha quite. A nice family holiday to me is one where I get some peace and quiet away from the family!

OP - I'd just leave him to it and take yourself off for a chill on your own one day.

You are not unreasonable for wanting a solid to a holiday.

Does he claim to want the reconciliation or is it just you pushing for it?

You and your DS deserve better.

He wasn't concerned about the kid when he walked out on him for a week and opted out of parenting.

If my DH did that I would take myself and kids out for the whole day and leave DH to get on with it.

I would make sure to have a lovely lunch and dinner out and take loads of happy family pictures so he could see what he had missed out on.

Are we in the same thread?
She watched the England game as well - and than went to bed to be able to get up with their child.

He chose to watch another match after that and took a full morning off without comunicating the plan beforehand, just expecting her to do thw parenting.

I'd expect more respect and coordination from a work colleague, let alone a partner trying to fix a relationship.

he left you for a week? actually left you? What does he bring to the party?

He thinks parenting is a gendered, solo activity: a project for the woman. Of course he thought of himself and what he wanted. He never gave it a second thought that he should also be an engaged parent also...

I am astonished st some of these replies! Of course the H is unreasonable for staying in bed all morning and just assuming that @Rubyreindeer will look after their child. They both watched the match!

So pp would be upset at being told they'd had enough sleep and being treated like child? What about OP who's just expected to look after the child because H chose to stay up all night.

Madness!

I'd leave the fucker! Honestly these threads wind me up. Team @Rubyreindeer all the way ❤️

You’re not unreasonable, OP. It’s a family holiday, he should have been up at 7am this morning, quick shower and dressed, quick breakfast and ready to be off for a family day out making memories. It’s about quality time, what’s best for the family. If he wanted to indulge himself he should have remained a single man.

OP do you actually want to reconcile with this slob? I don’t think he can be bothered to change and is probably selfish in many areas of life.

Remember that this board has its fair share of doormats and men apologists so think carefully about what you want from your marriage.

It is madness. The way so many women here are excusing the behaviour of this man. I’m so happy that I have much higher standards in my life and would not put up with nonsense. As a result, we have a great and healthy long marriage without one person taking advantage.

It’s watching the second match that would have pissed me off. Anyway see how he behaves during this week op but honestly I think he’s just gonna do what he thinks you want to see and then go back to be his usual self. Some men just aren’t cut out for family life.

He sounds like a prat. Tell him that he should be up with your son tomorrow as you will a walk, you’ll meet them at breakfast 😉

I wouldn’t mind one day if he asked me whether I was ok to do the morning by myself.

And I would take a morning to myself too.

It’s the entitlement and piss poor communication that gets my goat.

I don’t think a lot of men would be as bothered as you think by this 🤣🤣

You’d probably just find him asleep still or in the bar watching more sport.

Jesus Christ! He works hard all year and this is his holiday too!
If that were my husband I’d happily let him sleep
Chill out!!

Yeah I'm afraid as a lazybones myself I might pretend to be sad I missed out but would in fact have a lovely hangover recovery day in bed 😂

I wouldn't be happy either. If it was a one off, he wasn't supposed to be making an effort and you'd discussed who would be staying up late then fair enough but none of that is true.

I would be having a late night tonight whilst he looked after your child and telling him not to wake me up as I'll be having a lie in.

Exactly.

DH loves to stay up late, smoking cigars, drinking and eating local specialities and watching football if it’s on. DD and I like to get up early, walk the beach, swim, chat. But he always, without fail, makes sure I get afternoons, when it’s too hot for me, to myself to read and nap while he and DD play at the pool or go on side quests. It’s not transactional. It’s equal.

He also cleans at home, does more than equal housework, and is generally a good egg.

It doesn’t sound like OP’s DH is.

Does he work hard all year? Do you know him? OP pretty lazy all year probably right? Not like she does all the housework, works, looked after their kid when he decided to fuck off for a week, and looked after the kid on the flight while he slept.

He sounds like a dick tbh, although mainly for the things which aren't about the lie in. I would have stayed up late watching both matches too but I would have still got up at a reasonable hour to hang out all day.