The Dating Thread 60 - Summer Fling!

[Nosdacariad]

The Rules:
-The first rule about the dating thread is don't talk about it with people you're dating
-Develop a thick skin
-Do not invest emotionally too soon
-It’s all BS until it actually happens
-Trust your gut instinct
-People vanishing, lying & being generally weird is not your fault
-Know your worth
-If it's not fun, stop
-Loo update is mandatory
-No dating the thread
-Treat others as you'd like to be treated
-Any relationship you have that could get ruined by having a conversation about your feelings, standards and/or expectations wasn't really stable enough to begin with
-The things you choose to ignore/ tolerate now are the reasons you will break up in the future
If you're wondering if you're being too picky/should give another chance after the second chance/should try harder - the answer is invariably NO! You're not and you shouldn't. If this, now, is as good as it's going to get, the A game, then do you want what comes next?!
-OLD can get very time consuming. Keep doing other activities you enjoy Optional: Please give your irons (potential dates you are talking to) nicknames like Mr Scottish. Initials are allowed (Mr S) when you are an item*

Hi all! Hope everyone is having a good day.

@empirebiscuits12, I think I would be tempted to mention a date, if you are really keen on him. How often is he messaging?

I tend to mention meeting up to the ones I like, I'd we have been chatting failed regularly for a few days. Because I am anxious to avoid wasting time and energy on anyone who turns out just to want a texting buddy. Plus, often it can be a week or more before schedules align, especially if one or both of you has kids, so the sooner you get a date booked in the better, in my experience.

@LenaFromTheNinetiessounds like maybe your older fella isn't as ready for dating as he thinks? Absolutely fine for him to mention his late wife - and indeed it's a positive sign that he speaks so well of her + but for his grief to be such a significant part of the conversation is a bit of a concern I think? Not really fair for him to expect you to be a handmaiden for his sadness - he needs to reach out to existing friends and family for that, and maybe consider some grief counselling too. I hope that doesn't sound harsh, and of course he has my sympathy.

I've got a date with Mr Good-looking tonight. Not anticipating there will be that much of a connection, as our messages have been very surface-level. But very consistent and very respectful, so it seems worth a shot?

I am curious to see if he will be as good looking in the flesh. His profile has only one proper picture of him, and then one from a distance holding an owl.....

Time will tell!

@Ilovelurchers you never know, he may be “better in person” in terms of his personality and speaking about deeper things. Glad you’re still going despite that and your other recent dates/irons. What do you guys have planned?

@empirebiscuits12 what's your response to Mr Peach if he pops back up?

@Ilovelurchers have a fab time 😍

I'm seeing Mr H&S tonight but my self confidence is lower than a flea on the belly of a worm thanks to planes. Also I would like him to be planes but without the drinking, the harem, the weight comments, the unfitness...what could go wrong 😅

@Ilovelurchers Ooh good luck! Curious to know how it works out. I’ve only ever gone on to meet someone if I thought there was conversational chemistry first, maybe I’m being a bit brutal / impatient!

@empirebiscuits12 Sounds like a very delightful encounter! If you saw him again, what would you do? Surely nothing to lose by asking if he single….?

@Brightbluesomething Wow, two in real life, I’m impressed! How closely do you work with the work iron? Is there any potential for awkwardness if it doesn’t work out?

This is the follow-up double date to when my friend and Suits met in the wild. TLDR: bit odd, an experience, it was on a hot day.

Much Ado

Suits insisted on "smart casual" for the Friday mystery double date and to meet on [the] middle of the Millennium Bridge at 6.45pm. Precisely. Suits appeared with ‘Cliff’ who seemed to be assigned to me, Surprise! ‘We’re going to the Globe. Just a short walk.’ My cream midi dress was way too nice for standing in a pit for two and a half hours after a hot day. Why not sit? PMj looked like she was ready for a magazine shoot, played into the game and loved being inside the recreated Shakespearean Theatre. She wore a tight, structured dress that looked like it felt like armour, chosen because she assumed a high-end dinner and cocktails. It was the opening night of Much Ado About Nothing.

Cliff was fine. A bit blank, like a human beige cardigan. He spent the time staring more at my chest, or PMj’s hair, rather than up at the stage. The Globe is beautiful, but mostly standing in the yard with a bunch of tourists is a nightmare in heels. My feet were absolutely killing me by the break.

Suits is one of those guys who loves the sound of his own voice, constantly leaning in to "explain" the Shakespearean jokes to PMj like she wasn't a fluent English speaker who had probably over-Shakespeared at school. I was stuck making whispered small talk with Cliff who was bored. I wasn’t. It was a special evening though and never to be repeated.

About Nothing Much

Afterwards, Suits decided we had to go back to his apartment near Canada Water for "nightcaps." He had booked this Addison Lee chauffeur car. It felt ridiculously pretentious. We got back to his place, which was soulless with floor-to-ceiling windows and barely any furniture. It was sterile in a "young professional" way. Were they expecting us to put out? No, it was chat, cheese selection and ‘nightcaps’ and more chat. Suits got us an Uber and on the way back we tried to work out what it was about, but decided it was best not to try too hard. It was probably just two boys, at least one with more than enough funds, playing dress-up. While odd and ultimately feeling pointless it was also something to add to the list of experiences.

Have to say I'd be thrilled by a surprise theatre trip? Though perhaps not the Globe. I know this is very lazy of me, but I hate standing. I take a school trip to see a play most years - we get free tickets and always have to stand - it's tiring!

Still, as you say, it was an experience. What was the production like?. Much Ado isn't one of my favourites I must admit.....

Meeting in a pub local to me - the one I usually take dates to. I got here a bit early and am in the garden now.

Globe: modern style performance in 20th Century clothes with some adaptations to the script. It was good. If I knew I was seeing it I would rather be inside a modern theatre, reserving Globe things for more Shakespearean era settings, but that's me. I'd also sit with a hired cushion.

www.londontheatre.co.uk/reviews/much-ado-about-nothing-review-shakespeares-globe-2026

@BoxOfCats Ive always stayed well away from colleagues or work relationships as it can be so messy. There are so many people I can’t date in my role but this one works in a completely different department. He’s worked for the same company for quite a few years and lives locally but I never knew he existed until a few months ago. So hopefully it doesn’t go down hill but if it does I’d rarely need to see him. Neither of us are the type of people that would cause problems but that’s part of of the reason it’s going quite slowly.

@LenaFromTheNineties I love how you write! Human beige cardigan has me howling 😂 I’m sorry to hear the double date was a flop, but sounds like it was memorable at least!

Mr Peach messaged about an hour ago saying “hello stranger hope you’re having a good day”. So I just told him what I was up to, asked him what he was up to. He told me. That was it, I didn’t reply because there wasn’t a question. Which is maybe a bit childish but the whole conversation felt very low effort on both sides. I’ll be very surprised if we manage to scrape this one back.

I hope tonight goes okay, I’ll be thinking of you! Rubbish that you’re feeling so low about yourself but please remember that we’re all behind you. I’m sure Mr H&S will appreciate being in your company! 🤍

I tell you, it was a delightful and unexpected encounter! Today is the first time I’ve ever seen him however if I was to see him again then I would absolutely never ask if he’s single. I’m far too shy and self conscious to do that. I’d also be mortified if he isn’t single and then I encounter both him and his partner together in the future!

Hi all,

I hope your dates go well tonight, @Nosdacariad and @Ilovelurchers. @Nosdacariad , it is hardly surprising that you confidence is a bit low at the moment. Take it slowly and play it by ear.

My day out with Mr Physics was wonderful. He took me to his favourite lunch spot in our nearest city, then a museum wander, then for drinks in a roof top bar, and finally back to his for dinner and wine in the garden. This morning we have lazed about in the sunshine after he made me breakfast. He is such a thoughtful man: his care is shown through his actions rather than words (I am far more wordy).

As ever with me, I cannot help my avoidant brain going mad ("maybe he isn't keen on me and is looking for a way to dump me" is my latest nugget of charm) but I am trying my very best to keep a lid on it.

@empirebiscuits12 I honestly don't get men like Mr Peach. What's the point? Either commit or not, we're all busy with lives to lead. Fingers crossed for Mr Tall.

@BellaBlackberry83this sounds lovely! We can be our own worst enemy sometimes though, I know I’m very guilty of it. Looking back at my relationship history I can see where I doubted myself and the relationship itself, looking for reasons why he would want to end it. Unfortunately I don’t have any useful advice however….solidarity! I’m keen to hear/read if anyone else has advice because I can’t shut my brain up when I’ve got a good thing in front of me.

Saying that, it sounds as though he’s put a lot of thoughtful effort into the day out 🥰 I can’t remember the last time a man done anything even close to this for me. I hope you can relax into it more, soak it up and enjoy it for what it is 🤍 x

Prospects: two I have exchanged messages with and voice called. Ben Friday is a possible long termer. Sven Saturday is a possible dalliance / wild ride. I want to confirm as well as I can and then just forget things until a day before each. [Not really Ben and Sven but it works and compartmentalises them effectively.]

I somehow missed this earlier. Sounds intriguing - and you absolutely deserve a lucky break, so I am crossing everything as hard as I can that this guy proves single and omnipresent enough in your area for you to bump into him again, and soon!

And Peach is limp. Hate the slow fade. Exactly what I had from Mr Village. They promise so much yet deliver so little. Tiresome. Why can't they man up enough to be frank, at least?

I really hope H and S manages to cheer you up - you deserve a nice date tonight if anyone ever did.

And you are so very much the prize! I hate that bloody feckless Planes has made you question this.... He is an arsehole. You however, are an intelligent, funny, open-hearted, kind and lovely woman, who any man would be lucky to date!

So, Mr Good-looking, whom I had a first date with tonight, did exactly what he said on the tin.... He was extremely good looking (almost edibly so - seriously....), behaved respectfully throughout, and we had absolutely nothing in common, to the extent that finding conversational topics felt arduous at times. He may well be more comfortable with silence than me? It's something I struggle with and have to know someone quite well to feel relaxed sitting in silence with them....

The evening ended on a kiss - a good one. Not hugely deep, but sexy somehow.And I just realised I smell faintly of his aftershave, and that that is a nice sensation!

I think the only reason I would see GL again would be to jump his bones. Which I would enjoy, because they are such lovely bones.....

I don't think I have the confidence to message him and suggest this? But if he messages me, I might angle the conversation towards that and see what happens. I'd have to find a way to be clear that I didn't see it going anywhere long term (I have a horror of leading anyone on) but that I felt we could have short term respectful mutual fun together......

@empirebiscuits12 can you remind me what the background with Mr peach is? You had a good first date? If so, you might just want to confront the situation before it fully slow fades? Isnt impossible he thought you were fading him. Not defending him at all, but I see no harm in checking and getting a resolution either way!