So many replies! Just catching up on them all. There are some that really made me laugh and so relatable, I really want to respond to some individually, but it's late and guess what.... oh yes I am sleep deprived from yet another disturbed night at his place and it really will be the very last time so here comes a general update...
I've been so busy with family stuff that I hadn't spent any more nights over at his house at all since my post, nor had the opportunity to talk about it again in a more decided way, with a view to ending it if things didn't change.
Well this weekend has been one hell of an eye opener for sure! I have been helping him set up an NHS account. Just discovered he had bloods done earlier in the year and he thought they were for specific issues like his elevated cholesterol and a couple of other things. Turns out the doctor decided to test his thyroid function, which came back abnormal, with one particular hormone outside of the upper range and some odd iron readings that would indicate anaemia or something else going on. He can't remember whether he told the doctor that he was struggling with his sleep or not. The notes page may have mentioned fatigue somewhere over the past year or so. Some other blood readings have been abnormal for over a year, but they've been repeatedly retesting.
We had a long chat about this and I did offer to go to the appointment with him when he gets the next lot of results back. If he has a thyroid problem then his sleep, mood, circadian rhythms etc. will no doubt be affected by it and quite badly if they are really out of whack.. whatever is causing the readings to be off. It could also be making him hyperactive but then causing him to crash later on, then waking him up at odd times. Still, really doesn't excuse the rudeness of the noise levels.
So last night I was there quite late, he had ferried me about to my own medical appointment and then we had dinner together. It got really late so I decided to stay. Fell asleep next to him, snoring started so I took myself off to the spare room. I couldn't get off to sleep, I remember seeing 2 am on my phone. Then suddenly there he was at my bedroom door, he sat on the bed and immediately launched into a continuation of the conversation we were having before going to bed about his son. I asked him what time it was, he had no idea, when I looked it was around 4.45... I was livid... he apologised for waking me, then went downstairs yawning and shouting and put the TV on, albeit quietly. I went down and lost my shit and asked him did he have any idea how rude he was..... that his neighbours were old as well and to bloody well keep it down.
I then went back to bed, put ear plugs in and was woken some two hours later by him bloody singing, coughing as if he were about to choke and then making fake sneezing noises. I got up to the loo, went onto the landing and noticed he had actually come up the stairs a little way up and was looking to see if I was up! He then shouted did I want a cup of tea.
So I sat him down and went through all of my feelings about getting disturbed, that he needed to be much more considerate and that if he couldn't be, then I would have to reconsider staying over. He was extremely apologetic. He even said "I'm SO noisy aren't I? I REALLY need to change!" after slamming the bloody spoon down onto the horrible glass counter protector! Anyway, we headed out for breakfast and then some shopping and when we got back I was exhausted from practically no sleep. He complained about been tired too so we lay down for a nap together. Two hours late he gets up and starts making a LOT of noise again, slamming cups and glasses, throwing the teaspoon down. I went down and he started FAKE SNEEZING!
I have come home tonight and I won't stay there again. Haven't had the conversation with him as he was asleep again when I left, but I left a note to tell him I needed the peace and quiet of my own home. He KNOWS he disturbed me and I am exhausted from it and yet he banged around while I was still waking from the nap as if I had never brought it up! The fake sneezing was so bizarre, it's like he wanted to annoy me. And yet he asked me to stay over.
I could never live with this person. Unless it is due to a major hormonal issue that can be addressed, I really see no serious future if this all continues.
Sorry this is so long!