Husband says he has the ick and criticises my habits

[GotTheIckWithMe]

Dh has told me he’s ’got The ick’

That over the last few months he’s needed more time away from me as ‘little things were annoying’ and he can’t put up with certain ‘habits’ anymore. He thinks I’m lazy and he worries about the image I have and how that will affect the dc.

We used to go out once a week but he stopped that two weeks ago and made excuses. He’s now said he can’t stand the way I act when out and how I eat. I’m quite shy and he finds it ‘embarrassing’ . He’s very chatty and sociable.

I don’t know what I’m meant to do ?

If he plans another meal out say no thanks, no explanation needed. When he tries to start a fight with some stupid comment just say, it's best you leave then isn't it. Don't worry about what other people think.

He is such a wanker for criticising you for things which he never had a problem with, assuming you haven’t suddenly become shy and changed the way you eat and drink. Sorry you are going through this OP, don’t let him affect your self esteem. It’s definitely him not you.

If he's not cheating, he's on the cusp.

Not sure what you mean but I’d sure as hell end my marriage if my husband gave me the ick

Lawyer.
Start documenting shared assetts.
Secure any largevsavings pots ( or your share of them).

And find your anger. How dare he mock you, make younfeel insecure like this! You're a human, his wife, and deserving of respect.

He's vile op ,, degrading you and humiliatingvyoy and trying to make you be horribly self conscious. Distance your self and make plans to be free .

He's had his head turned at his new job... Overtime my eye.

Just incase, start getting a file together with copies of anything to do with money.

Youre meant to fuck this nasty man right off

I’ve been where you are lovely @GotTheIckWithMe , he’s following a well worn path and a very tattered script. They think they’re so bloody unique.

My ex suddenly found fault with everything I did, said, wore - you name it, he criticised it. I might have had a bit of respect for him if he grew a pair and admitted that he’d found someone else. But many do what mine did and yours appears to be doing. They have to justify their shitty behaviour.

Cut a long story short, after a bit of digging, I found out about his new friend. Said nothing, circled my wagons, lined up the quack quacks, got copies of all financial stuff and hired the best solicitor I could afford. He was served divorce papers at work a week later.

Over fifteen years later I’m happier than ever. It’s not easy, but god it’s worth it.

He doesn’t have the ‘ick’ - there is NOTHING wrong with you

what he has is the HORN for someone else.

he’s cheating, leave. Fuck him, he’s a total fucking arsehole.

He’s cheating

It's such a cliché but there is undoubtedly another woman.

Get your plans in order before he springs it on you that he's leaving and it's all your fault.

He is either knocking off someone from work or planning to.
Get your ducks in a row @GotTheIckWithMe

I could be wrong but it looks like he’s met someone at his new workplace and he’s looking for reasons to put the blame on you. Blaming you in his own head will ease his guilt, he’s a coward. I’m sorry that he’s put you in this position.

Whether he’s cheating or not he sounds like a nasty bastard.

Sounds like the talk of a cheater

The only thing wrong with you is you unfortunately have a husband who is an utter wanker. I would bet my pension he is having an affair. You are worth much more than the way he is treating you 🤗

Yes, of course he's cheating, and he wants to make it all your fault.

You don't need to prove it. He's being vile, you don't need to put up with it.

Well you call it a day. And ask him which half of every week he wants 24/7 sole care of the DC. Watch him change his tune.

He sounds like a cunt who is cheating or who wants to cheat.

Get your ducks in a row and be prepared for a split.

Thank you girlking! Everyone should know that life is beautiful, especially when you’re freeeeeeeeeee!
an unknown step is always scary but when someone is done you cannot change their mind. But actually, with the benefit of hindsight, you wouldn’t want to because what’s to come, when everything has died down and the hurt has subsided (pretty quickly in my case), is fabulous.
The main thing that I always told myself OP is that this behaviour was nothing to do with ME. Not me as a wife, as a mother! Not what I was like in the bedroom, not what I looked like. It was all HIM- his lacking as a man, his insecurities, his flawed character! And I want you to always remember that, whatever you do and whatever you decide. Repeat it to yourself in the mirror because you’re probably going to hear all sorts of shit about yourself. I promise you, none of that is true.
I also second that you need some legal advice ASAP, even if we are all wrong about what’s going on. It never hurts to be armed, dangerous and ready to go with all the relevant knowledge. Knowledge will become your best friend.

He got a new job last year?

There will be a woman at that job.

What absolute bullsh*t he's talking! I'm so sorry...please don't let him dent your confidence.

If someone who was supposed to love me said that to my face, I'd probably be very spiteful back out of anger (along the lines of 'well your face gave me the ick years ago but I looked past it') and I'd LTB.

There's nothing wrong with being a more quiet person, it takes all sorts to make a world and we all have our place and people.

You are worth so much more than this: if this is how he treats you after 15 years, I wouldn't waste a minute longer on him!

Start to make plans in event of him cheating. Getting the ick is a very common red flag.

:(